No Bad Days Allowed

I've been working this post in my head for a while now, but I've gotten to the point where I'm obsessing over it. So it's time to get the words out.

When you have young children, everyone wants to see you thoroughly enjoying every moment of your life.
"Enjoy every second while you can"
"This is the easiest it will ever be, just wait until they...."
"You'll miss these days"
And many other varieties of the same comments.
 And I'm sure they are right.

Listen, I know how blessed I am. I know how lucky I am to have two healthy, beautiful, thriving children. I know what some people would only give to be in my situation and trust me, I'm very sensitive to that.
But damn if this isn't tough sometimes (a lot of the times).

I'm up with the both of them usually before 7 in the morning. They tag team me on most days. Rise and shine mom, we both need you NOW. It doesn't end until 8:30 at night. So for 13.5 hours I'm on. And it's mostly just me. My partner in all this isn't here. While there are wonderful, precious moments sprinkled in and some days are filled with those moments, there are going to be days where I just cannot find the good in it for the life of me.
The days where I cannot bear to listen to ONE MORE whine. Where I feel like I've heard nothing but cries and temper tantrums. Where I might as well just get a tape recorder and just press myself saying, "get in timeout" every 5 minutes. Days where my back is killing me because every time I go to put my 2 month old down he screams. Days where I'm just flat exhausted by 8pm and I would give anything to have my husband here to give me a break so I can take a shower, a bath, have a glass of wine or just rest for a few minutes. Because while I do have my parents, it's not at all the same as having the other parent with you.

So some days I feel like I'll never get through it. Some days I'm reduced to nothing but tears because that's all I have left. And in that moment, I don't want to hear how lucky I am. I don't want to hear that it's just going to get harder, but OHMYGOD, I can't handle it now, I don't want it to get harder! I don't want to hear that I need to be counting my blessings instead of allowing myself to be human. I don't want to hear that I should basically be sucking it up because, hey life is good.

I know life is good. I know in the grand scheme of things, I'm extremely lucky. But sometimes, I just want to hear that someone else has been there. That they remember how hard it can be and to just hang in there, that tomorrow will be better. Tell me that as hard as it is, that I'm doing a great job. Be as quick to give out any kind of motivation to that mother of young children as you are to scold her for giving in to that long, hard day. Sympathize with her. Build her up.

Because while we already know that the years go by all too fast. the days are extremely long. And sometimes we're just flat tired.

Real Food

Lately I've been feeling convicted about the food I am feeding my family. We don't necessarily eat terribly unhealthy, but the types of foods we're eating has become a growing concern of mine. The amount of processed things I'm allowing to go into our bodies and what that really means is scary to me. I've never dug into what exactly "processed" meant. I think I just didn't want to. But now the information seems to keep getting thrown in my face without me really having to look far. Lots of stuff I didn't want to know about, but glad I'm learning, like Artificial Food Dyes and how they are make from Petroleum (ya, you know, the same stuff that gas is made with. Yes, the gas you put in your vehicle). And Artificial Flavoring. I don't know too much about this other than is chemically made flavoring... that can't be good, right? Here is just one article I've read lately that puts things into perspective. BTW... that blog... 100 days of real food. It's pretty awesome! I'm having a hard time finding the time I need to read every single post she's ever done.

This all started when Andrew and I were home during Trey's NTC stint. My dad saw an infomercial for a Nutribullet. Discovered how easy and beneficial it could be to make healthy smoothies with spinach, fruit and flax seed (for example). He was a little obsessive for about a week until he finally dropped the bucks down and bought one. Once he started using it, he almost immediately started noticing differences in the way he felt. (Nurtibullet isn't what I'm trying to sell to you here, although it does work fabulously, the change of diet is what I'm stressing here.. just to be clear!). These smoothies led to him getting more information on processed foods and how terrible they are for us. Once my dad gets stuck on something, he lets everyone know. It's not a bad thing.. he just like to spread the word. His ultimate goal is to get off of the BP and Cholesteral meds that he has to take. If he can successfully do that by changing his diet, why wouldn't he be a huge advocate?

So that's how all of this started for me. Then my SIL (sister-in-law, not son-in-law... this reference is for my mother) started taking a nutrition class for her nursing degree. They learned a bit about label reading last week and she has strict instructions to call me after every class to reiterate what she's learned. The amount of sodium we digest into our bodies is CRAZY. So much more than we are meant to consume. And sugar.. ha.. don't get me started! They focused a lot on the food we feed our kids and it got me thinking.
When Andrew first started experimenting with foods, I was adamant on making his purees. I didn't want any of the additives that goes into the jarred foods to enter his little body. I wanted to give him the best start possible. So with very few exceptions I made just about all of his foods. From simple purees in the beginning to blended up meals the closer he got to one.
Then he got to the point where he didn't need his food pureed and I just gave him whatever. I was still pretty good in the beginning. He never got sweets.. or juice.. or anything fruit-snackish. He still got (and does get) lots of fruits and veggies. But there was.. and is.. lots of packaged, processed foods in there as well. And now that he's two I've loosened up even more. Honestly, he gets a frozen breakfast every morning, where I used to make him eggs and fruit or homemade pancakes. He eats entirely too much blue box mac n' cheese. Canned soups. You get the point.

So my point in all this is that I want to make some big changes. Not only with him, but all of us. That's where I need some input. I can think of a few things to do, but nothing I can change an entire diet with. I'm phasing out the processed stuff we have now and over the weekend plan to freeze some meals in serving sizes. I can make some vegetable soup, homemade mac n' cheese, and I found a really cool mini corndog idea on Pinterest. I can freeze some pancakes for breakfasts. If we want cookies I can make them from scratch. But other than that.. I'm at a loss.
Do any of you eat naturally? I know there will be some processed things we'll still eat, but I'd like to cut waayyyyy back. What do you do for your kids lunches? Or yours? What do you snack on besides fruits and veggies? If you freeze meals, how do you freeze them in separate serving sizes? Any input or advise would be much appreciated!

{Bleepin'} TV shows these days

Quite a few weeks ago, Trey came home and told me he read an article about how there was going to be more profanity on our popular TV shows coming up soon. Serious ones at that. I kind of thought that I'd believe it when I heard it. Surely, they wouldn't be dropping the F-bomb on Modern Family (that's the show I heard specifically would be doing it). I prayed that show in particular wouldn't, it's high up on my favorite list and I swore I'd write off any show that started using even more foul language.

Low and behold, the next episode we watched, the big F word was used multiple times. It was better played than I thought, I will admit. It was bleeped out (I literally thought it would be said openly) and it was used in a hilarious (of course) and relatable context. The little girl, Lily, started saying it much to the parents dismay and embarrassment. I think most of us deal with that at some point and can laugh at it.
I haven't heard any more of that out of this show.

The Office is the one I'm starting to have a problem with. Every single episode lately they are having to bleep something out. Listen, I'm really no prude. Especially after I've had a glass of wine or two. But on sitcoms? What's the point? It adds absolutely ZERO content to the show. You can tell it's a stretch. There's no need to it. It's like they're just throwing it in for giggles.

Here's my problem -
I'm afraid the envelope is going to keep being pushed further and further. It starts with bleeped out cuss words - scratch that. It started a long time ago. Most of us think nothing anymore of shows like Two and a Half Men. But soon the bleeped out cuss words aren't going to phase us and all of a sudden it won't be bleeped.
Do y'all know the last time I went to the movie theater, they showed an actual penis on  the screen? Granted, it was The Hangover II (don't judge, date nights don't happen very frequently over here and there was not much to choose from). I know it was rated R, but seriously? I couldn't believe it. Since when is it okay to show that kind of stuff in the movie theater?? This wasn't the unrated version released to DVD!

Am I just getting old? Did becoming a mother do this to me? Or are more of you noticing all of this as well?

Either way - Come on Office! Get your act together. I don't want to have to stop watching you, but I will. You are quite funny without the use of a bleeped out "F%&* You".

Scream Free Parenting

Last night, I went to a free seminar that Fort Bliss hosted called Scream Free Parenting. This is the title of a book written by Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT, which has been featured on The Today Show, I believe.. don't quote me on that, though! Either way, a lot of people have heard of Hal and his Scream Free program. I, however, hadn't at all. I signed up anyways, with not many expectations, just thinking that it couldn't hurt.

I'm so very glad I went. It was probably the best program I've ever seen here at Bliss. It was run perfectly... they went above and beyond with stuff they had to offer (sandwiches, drinks, coffee and snacks), everything happened on time, and everyone was extremely friendly.

Now.. let's get to the good stuff. As a forewarning, this will most definitely be extremely wordy. I'll do my best not to jump around too much, but just follow me if you can. It's worth it!

Hal (I mean.. come on.. I've been to his seminar and he answered me when I raised my hand.. pretty sure we're on a first name basis) is not only a parenting/relationship genius, he's also quite hilarious. Which always helps when you're listening to someone talk for 2 straight hours, right? He is a happily married, Christian, father of two.. a boy and a girl, and a Licenced Marriage and Family Therapist. So basically, you can trust his word. He practices what he preaches every day.

His teaching goes against what most of society teaches us for the most part. And.. umm.. I like it. I think the main concept here is teaching our kids with natural consequences. Raising them to be able to be full functioning, capable-of-making-decisions, mature adults.

Source

How do we get there? We learn not to react to the anxiety that is almost constantly within you once you become a parent. Screaming, according to my buddy Hal, is defined by your reaction to the stress.. whether that be by actually screaming at your child or spouse, or shutting down and making yourself unavailable to them.. in other words, ignoring the situation.

Why do we react anyways? Once you understand this, it helps immensely in the way you handle your children. It does for me, at least, and I'm fairly certain it will for you.
According to Hal, we've all been lied to about parenting. That's right.. lied to. Follow me through this and it may just feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.

Lie numero uno:
Your life is over once you have children. Your life now revolves around them. We even romanticize it by telling our kids, "you're our whole world". (Umm.. guilty!)
Sad. We can't, as adults, live up to being someone's entire world. That's a lot of pressure! Think about the amount of responsibility that goes along with being someone's "whole world". No thank you!
If we think of our children in that sense, it builds resentment. Those sweet, adorable children are eventually going to take us for granted and start saying mean, ugly things to us. If we put our entire life into these kids, give up everything that's important to us as adults, we're going to resent them when they hit this stage and can't possibly understand how much we've given up for them. Resentment is not a pretty thing, friends.

Numero Dos:
We are responsible for our kids.
False.
We are responsible TO our kids, not FOR our kids.
I know this may come as a shock to you, but kids have a mind of their own. They make their own choices, as they should, no matter how much you want to make the "right" choice for them.
I know, as a parent, it's hard to just sit back and watch your child make the wrong choices. But isn't that what life is all about? Don't we want our children to be able to make a decision without having to call you for the rest of their lives?
If we try too hard to make the decisions for them, they are probably going to rebel anyways. We're not here to do that. We're here to create the right environment for them.
Our job is to prepare them for life, not protect them from it.

So no, we can't control our children. For me, that is freeing, not discouraging. I've been exhausted trying to control my toddler! Probably because I can't and it's a never ending battle that I didn't need to be fighting. We can't control what they are going to do, but we can be absolutely certain of what WE are going to do! What I'm going to do? That's easy!

Source

Hal's method, along with keeping yourself calm and quiet with your children, is giving them choices, time limits, and consequences.
Again, you can't control what your children are going to do, whether it be putting their bike away even though you've told them a million times to do so when they are done, doing their homework, wearing their jacket.. keeping their room clean.. blah blah blah.. enter in anything you and your kids struggle with.

You can, however, control how you are going to respond to the situation. Do you think yelling and screaming your kid into submission is going to do them any favors, teach them any lessons, or make them respect you? The correct answer would be No No and NO.
They need to learn the consequences of their actions.
"I see your bike has been left out. If it's still there when I come home from the store, I'm going to take it to Goodwill". (The trick there is really taking it to Goodwill, too. Following through with the consequences is more important then whatever the actual consequence is). Said child now has the ability to decide whether it's worth it to her to actually put the bike away.
You cannot make your child do homework. You can have grade expectations and consequences if the expectations are not met.
You can tell your child to wear a jacket. You can even let them pick it out. If they don't want to wear it, especially if you are not around when they are supposed to be wearing it, they won't. And what do you care? Will people give you funny looks if your child is dressed properly? Yes, they sure will. Get over yourself. Why fight that battle? You don't wear your jacket, you'll be cold. That's your decision. Not me.. I'll be snug and warm in mine.

You get the point here. Natural consequences.

I don't want to rewrite the book for him, I want you to actually go out and buy it. He should, after all, get the credit. Plus, he says this all a little better than I do.. and remember.. he's pretty hilarious at the same time. There is so much more to delve into. I didn't cover half of it. My husband and I are going to be sitting down to read it together. If any of this sounds even remotely interesting, please run out and buy it. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

I will leave you with some of my favorite thoughts from him last night though:

-He says that no matter what country he teaches this in, there is always one phrase that everyone knows: Kids push our buttons. Well, when did we give them the remote? We gave them the remote when we thought we could use one on them.
-Kids test us because it's the only way they know how to ask us to be better leaders.
-We move away from the impossible - controlling someone else's behaviour/choices, to the really, really difficult - controlling our own.
-What would our house be like if our kids know we don't give second chances, but we won't get mad when they make the wrong choice?

Here is the Scream Free website. Go check it out! Let me know what your thoughts are!

What are your thoughts? Do you already use natural consequences with your kids? How does it work for you?

Delta (because I'm too mad to think of anything more creative)

I'm HOME! We had such a great visit during the holidays.. seriously.. probably the best one ever.. but traveling to and from was a massive nightmare.

I know this is long, but take the time to read it.. especially if you are a frequent flyer. If you just so happen to be an airline employee, especially from Delta, I'd love to hear what you think of all this!

I took a chance and made some changes to our traveling ways. Note to self: change isn't always good. If in ain't broke, don't fix it.. and all that jazz.

We usually fly American Air through Dallas into Charlotte. This time, I chose Delta, it being the best deal I could find. On the way we did, home > Dallas > Huntsville. On the way back, Columbia > Atlanta > home.

Here are the reasons (I'll try to shorten it up as best possible) I'll never fly Delta.. unless they offer me a free ticket for my troubles.... again. Nor will I ever use the Atlanta airport.

- The Atlanta airport closed while we were en route. We circled the sky for an hour and 1/2. A 3 hour flight with a toddler became a 4 and 1/2 hour flight... yeahhhh.. about that...
No fear though.. the whole airport is closed, so our connecting flight can't leave either. Apparently, they can't leave for another 4 hours, we find out when we finally deboard! Our pilot hadn't even left his prior destination so they couldn't even guarantee that the flight would leave at 11:30pm. Remember the toddler, folks.
I get all that. We can't control the weather. Neither can airport/airline employees. But we can drive to Huntsville and make it there before the flight does. We ask for our luggage. They wouldn't have been able to get it to us for another few hours, they say. Really?
We decide to let our luggage go on and we rented a car. End of story. We get there a little after midnight. All is as well as possible.
I foolishly thank my lucky stars that the bad leg of the trip was with Trey and not while I was flying alone. Ha!

- We get on the plane in Columbia, back away from the door, and sit.. and sit.. annnddd sit. Atlanta airport is closed again.. because there is fog. We sat for an hour. Wonderful.

*Then there's the whole thing about being the first to volunteer for a different flight and voucher, but them giving it to some man that didn't even vocalize his desire to switch. After she told me I could have it. Whatevs.. I didn't fight it.. figured I was on the plane I was supposed to be on.

- My connecting flight home wasn't affected by the airport closure apparently, and still left at 11:05. My plane touched down, never mind all that time it takes to get to the door, at 10:30. I didn't even wait for the stroller to come off the plane. I ran like 10 miles, with Drewsky in my arms, and breathlessly got on my plane, thanking God that I made it and wasn't stuck at the ATL airport until 7pm.. with a toddler. Yes, my stroller is still sitting in Atlanta somewhere.

- Now we wait to take off for a while because there is more luggage than expected and they have to take the time to get it on. They brought someone's instrument on the plane because there wasn't room. Remember these facts. They'll be very important in the next bullet. We finally take off and all is right again. I'm 3 hours away from being home. A very long 3 hours, but I digress.

- We land.. have a nice, much anticipated reunion with Trey, go to the luggage area and wait.. and wait.. and wait. Along with half the other passengers on that flight. Enter in the Delta employee that nonchalantly tells us that if we don't see our luggage, it never made it on the plane in the first place. There wasn't enough space on the carrier. For reals?
That would be something worth mentioning, dontcha think? And they thought an instrument is important enough to put on the plane in a closet to make sure it goes through, but not a friggin car seat?? A car seat is pretty much mandatory!
I'll save my full reaction and move on... I fill out the proper paperwork, leave with promises of a phone call within the hour to get my reference number and enough hope instilled by them that I'll have my luggage later that night.

- Enter in this morning. Never got a phone call. Still don't have luggage. I called and turns out that ALL of my information was entered in incorrectly in the computer. Wrong cell number. Wrong street number. Wrong street name. I have precise, very pretty I might add, handwriting. They added a letter into the street name. Complete carelessness. Good thing I called to see what was up.
I hung up with more hope that my stuff would be on the plane that landed at 12:45 and I've still heard nothing.

I'm irate. I would have never complained about the weather incidences themselves, but all of this together? Too much. They'll hear all of this from me. I'm just waiting to see my actual luggage at my door before I start my rant to them. In the meantime... my complaint list just keep growing and I look like a bum with no hair straightener or makeup.

Flying with a baby

Is not very fun. But it is doable.

We flew with Drew when he was 4 months. Key word..WE. I had help. It was chaotic enough with the two of us. To say I was a little nervous about flying with him this time.. alone.. is an understatement.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though. Turns out - people are very friendly and helpful. And encouraging. See.. most people have been there. They can empathize. Each and every time I had to drop my purse, unfold the stroller, lock it up and get all my crap back together all while holding a baby (4 times btw.. before getting onto each plane) I was offered help by someone as they passed by. For the record - I never needed their help. I am Mother, hear me ROAR :) When he would go through his fussy periods on the plane - one of the flights is almost 4 hours, fussiness happens - there was always someone willing to play peek-a-boo or make silly faces. And getting off the place, sometimes a kind soul would stop and tell me what a wonderful baby he was, which never fails to make my heart smile.

In Drew's *almost* 7 short months of life he has been on 8 planes, so I consider myself somewhat of an expert. Or at least getting there. Lucky you... now I will share my expert tips:

*If your baby is formula fed, they have little packs of formula that look like the Crystal Light packs you dump in your water. Buy them. If you breastfeed I am clearly no help. Just hope that you are not as modest as I am. Those planes don't have much space!
*If the babe is at the stage where they are eating solids - buy 1 or 2 of those food pouches. Squeeze it right into their mouth.. no spoons or mess necessary.
*Make sure you have all of the extra necessities handy. Poop doesn't wait for the plane to land and sometimes - ahem - it will be a horrendous one and it will seep through his clothes and onto yours just as the seat belt sign comes on and the plane is starting it's descent.
*Give him/her a bottle for take off and landing. They can't chew gum.. swallowing helps their cute little ears.
*And mostly - just go with the flow. There is only so much you can do to comfort your baby on a plane. Have toys, be willing to make silly sounds and faces, walk the aisle.. all of that helps. But sometimes they are just going to cry. What'r ya gonna do?

We made it through and ya know what? The look on my parents faces when we spotted each other through the crowd and they saw their precious grandson... I'll fly 100 days straight to see that sweet moment again.

In other, totally unrelated, but important still news:
We had his appointment with the Pediatric Ophthalmologist Friday morning. She is under the impression that everything is fine for now. She is very sure that the difference in the size of his pupils is physiological. She is not convinced that he is blind in his left eye, but probably just doesn't see as well. Nothing they can do at this point. She gave me trouble signs to watch out for and wants to see him again in a year.

He also rolled over from his back to belly for the first time. I was getting worried, not gonna lie. He's been rolling the opposite way from 4 months. Nonetheless.. We have ourselves a full blown roller! Let the fun begin :)

*Before you make your Shutterfly cards...*

Ahhhh I almost just had a heart attack!!

After spending.. ohhh... an hour probably getting our Christmas cards made on Shutterfly, I excitedly click checkout. Head on over to my email and copy that code they gave me to get my cards FO FREE, paste it onto the enter codes here box, and SAY WHAT?? Code does not apply, says Shutterfly.

I start sweating a bit and try to click around and figure out what's going on. I was about to give up and planned to call customer service tomorrow morning and give them a piece of my mind when I saw something up top that says something about click here to chat live with a Customer Representative. So I clickety clicked away and started chatting with Veda (in America, I'm sure) and our convo went a little something like this:

Thank you for choosing Shutterfly. A representative will be with you shortly.

You are now chatting with 'Veda'
Veda: Hello, welcome to Shutterfly! How may I help you today?
Visitor: I had a code emailed to me that is supposed to get me 50 free Christmas cards. It's not working, saying that I have already used it, but I haven't.
Veda: I am glad to help you with that.
Visitor: okay thanks
Veda: Have you placed 5x7 stationery cards in your cart?
Visitor: Yes
Veda: May I have your Shutterfly email address?
Visitor: sure.. nortonj07@hotmail.com
Veda: Thanks. Please give me a moment while I look that up.
Veda: I find in your account that you have the credit for "50 free 5x7 flat stationery cards " or "50 free 5x7 folded greeting cards ".
Veda: I see in your cart you have 5x7 photo cards to which the credit cannot be applied.
Visitor: I think I was sent the wrong code because when I entered it in, it gave me 20% off
Visitor: Why can't the credit be applied?
Veda: Photo cards are different from stationery cards.
Veda: Since you have already placed the cards in the cart, I do not want to trouble you in starting the new project all over again.
Veda: As one time accommodation, I can swap the credit.
Visitor: So the 50 free cards doesn't apply to the photo Christmas cards?
Visitor: Ohhh thank you so much!
Veda: Please give me a moment.
Visitor: I know of a lot of bloggers that are a little confused about this
Veda: Please give me a moment.
Visitor: Sure, thank you
Veda: I have swapped the credit in your account.
Veda: Please sign out and isgn in back to view the credit.
Visitor: Okay is there a code I need to know?
Veda: *Please sign out and sign in back to view the credit.
Visitor: How will I view the credit when I sign back in?
Veda: You need not enter any promotion code to avail the credit.
Veda: You can check your current special offers by going to the "My Shutterfly" page, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking the "View my special offers" link.
Visitor: Great, thank you very much for your help!
Veda: You're welcome!
Veda: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Visitor: No, that's all
Veda: Thank you for chatting with us. We value your feedback. Please click the “Close” button at top right to answer a few questions about your experience with us today.
Visitor: I will

I'm sorry to say that I didn't trust little miss Veda and copied the whole convo just in case it didn't really work and I had to talk with someone else. No need though because I signed back in and turns out she wasn't just trying to get rid of me. My account showed a zero balance. Plus, Shutterfly emailed me a copy of our conversation.

So, make sure you take the time to go about making your precious photo card (which I want mailed to me for giving y'all the heads up.. and just because you love me) and then chat away with HOPEFULLY Veda! She can't say I didn't warn her about y'all!

You're welcome! Merry Christmas!

Dear El Paso Residents,

It's about time I got a few things off my chest!

1. Last time I checked, I still live in America. Learn English.

2. After you've learned our language, please start working on American customs.
Common courtesy for one. Here's just a few things to keep in mind:

You know when you're driving through a parking lot and you see huge arrows painted in certain lanes. They are there for a reason.. not some sort of tacky decor. You're supposed to drive up or down certain aisles. The arrows are you're friend. They tell you which direction to go. If we could all just follow the arrows, we could all get out a little easier and you would prevent me from cussing you out and throwing my arms up in the air at you... please No.. I'm not dancing.. I'm PISSED.
Now... follow me in the store, will you... No one ENJOYS grocery shopping. We don't go there to socialize. We'd like to get in and out asap. That being said, please don't park your carts in the middle of the aisle to chat with your bff. Get out of the way.. PLease. Checking out is also not the time to chat with the cashier. I'm sure you've never met in your entire life. What could you possibly be talking about for so long? (as in.. your groceries are bought and paid for. Now she's scanning mine and I'd like to put them in my cart... PLEase)
And if you have a buggy full of crap, you're not allowed to go in the 20 items or less lane... PLEAse!!

3. Your car has a blinker on it. It's used for turning. Also used for merging. Oh, you don't know what merging means? I've noticed. Look before you switch lanes... PLEASE.

I guess that maybe I've been spoiled living in the south for the past 14 years. Or maybe I was just raised with great manners... but it's just as simple as thinking of other people. Being a considerate person. I like my life to consist of social rules that are followed by all, smiles and waves when you're passing another person, and yes ma'ams and no sirs.
I've come into your city and have embraced the Swamp Cooler, learned to accept a yard full of rocks instead of nice, plush grass, have gotten over the fact that you don't believe in having mail boxes in front of houses, and am branching out and tasting scary Mexican food and have even quite enjoyed it (not that it compares to San Jose.. just sayin'). I'm not asking much in return, am I?

Thanks for listening and let's get along a little better for these next few years, 'K?

On my mind today

One thing I have noticed since becoming pregnant that absolutely baffles my mind, is the relationship between us moms out there. I'm talking every one of them. Family, friends, strangers. Everyone. I've seen this discussed on other blogs lately as well and I had to pipe in!

I would think there would be a sense of camaraderie between us all. Kind of like, "hey, I've been through it, you've been through it, let's help each other out" kind of thing. Instead, what I've noticed since day 1, is that it's more of a competition of sorts.

For starters, everyone has an opinion about every single matter. Which is normal, but if my opinion differs from yours, do you really have to belittle me for it? The one I've ran into personally the most is epidural vs. natural. YES, I have every intention of getting an epidural as soon as possible when I go into labor. So you did all three of yours naturally, huh? That is great for you! I respect the fact that you wanted to give birth at home, in a bath tub... please respect my decision to go to the hospital and get drugged as much as possible. MKay? Thanks.
Being a SAHM vs. Working mom. Who cares what other people are doing? Why would you ever feel the need to roll eyes, make a nasty comment, think you are better than that person? Do whatever is right for you and your family. This is a hard choice to make and everyone is different. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM and vice versa.

I could go on and on and on. Breast feeding vs. Formula. Letting your baby cry it out at bed time or not. blah blah blah.

Not only is every single mom different, but so is every baby. I see "baby competition" happening all the time and I think it's horrible. Babies develop at different stages. Just because baby number 1 started rolling over/crawling/talking, etc. before baby number 2 did... please don't make mom number 2 feel like a complete failure because of it. Just try not to compare your children okay? Especially with first time mothers... it hurts mom number 2's feelings... I've seen it happen.

Main point of this jumbled up thought process? I REALLY wish we could be more of a support system than a device to compare and contrast notes. In the end, isn't all that matters is that mom and baby are happy and healthy? Who cares how we all get there, right?

Now... if I happen to notice your child is still breast feeding when he or she standing up.. THEN I may start judging a little...

Another Post about Oprah

Yesterday, I watched Monday's Oprah episode that I had DVR'd. When I saw the topic: The most dangerous thing you might be doing with your life (something along those lines) I couldn't resist. I had to know how dangerously I've been living.
It turned out to be a really sad - and informative - episode about using your cell phone.. texting particularly... while driving. I admit, I used to do this almost 100% of the time. It was no big deal to me to text away almost the whole time I was driving. I could handle it... I can practically text without looking at the phone.. right? Not so much. One night I watched Seven Pounds.. that night ended my habit. How could I ever live with myself if I did the unthinkable? If I took someones life because that text was sooooo important.
On the show yesterday, or Monday, they showed a few families who have been affected by this. One story that really stuck with me was about a 9 year old little girl who died. Her mom was driving down their street, on the way home from the doctors office, when she saw flashing police and fire truck lights on said street. Then she saw her daughter's mangled bike. Another lady had been driving down the street, texting away, she never saw the little girl. Can you even imagine??

They say that texting while driving is the equivalent of having 4 drinks and getting behind the wheel. Oprah's doing a No Phone Zone Pledge where you can pledge not to do this anymore. All you have to do is click here.

End my public service announcement of the month. Tomorrow's my group nurse appointment.. should be interesting!
Oh yeah.. and don't forget to post any questions you have for me here. I'll answer on Monday :)