I'm not sure what exactly it is - probably hormones.. hey, they've cause every single bit of everything for the past 9 months, why not this too? - but I'm had an extremely good day today. Against all odds (waking up 3 times during the night and then up for good at 0530) I'm in quite the chipper mood and for the first time in longer than I care to admit, am feeling great about the future.
I hate that I've been such the Debby Downer. I have so many blessings in my life right now, what's there to be down about?!? I went back and read some old posts from this time last year and I used to be so witty and high on life.. I miss that girl!
I've felt kinda hopeless lately, I guess is the right word.
I've had a mental to-do list a mile long and no motivation or energy to start working on it. So at 530 this morning, I wrote that list out.. every single thing that I want to get done in the next three weeks. It helps a great amount to write out whatever it is in your head that is bothering you. I've always been such the diligent list maker... now I remember why!
On top of that, I've crossed 4 things off that list so far today... in the middle of working on another... and plan on dashing through one more on top of that! At this rate, that list will be my bitch before the end of the 3 weeks!
I've been miserable about our money situation. I mean.. we do fine. We just don't have much extra to do more than fine. Or comfortably fine. A lot of that has to do with our home back in SC (still hasn't been sold and Lex. county realized we were renting it so our taxes are going up through the roooooof starting in January. We're basically Screwed ... yes.. with a capital S.. if that house doesn't sell!). But ya know what? It's on the market and our renters are working so well with us... what else can we do but pray? That's the attitude I've decided to take... it's in God's hands and there's not much more we can do about it.
I've also been really looking forward to this so called trip home for Christmas. I started looking at tickets to fly home since Trey has a good idea about block leave... let's just say that unless there is some kind of Christmas miracle preformed - it's not happening! (Seriously.. about $1000 for two tickets??!?) I've been incredibly depressed about that, but again, another enlightening mind set change today. Of course, I would love to be home with both of our families for Christmas. I would love for Drew to be able to spend that time with them. More so for our benefits then his I guess... he sure won't remember that! But we can't break our bank to do it. Uummm.. more realistically... we can make money magically appear to do it. Looking like it'll be our first Christmas as just the... THREE... of us. Trey and I have never spent a Christmas alone and I'm sure it'll be nice. It can be an opportunity to start some of our own traditions. Of course, it'll kill me to not be around everyone, but I CAN look at the bright side! Plus, I can fly home a month or two later with the babe.. it just would have been nice for Trey to be able to get home. He gets his own strong bouts of homesickness too!
Basically.. the point of this post... I have too too much going for me to let these hormones get the best of me.
A sweet, sweet boy that will join our family in a matter of weeks.
So close that starting tomorrow.. I'm starting with weekly doctor's appointments.
A husband who is extremely excited to become a daddy and has even learned how to swaddle and wants to practice diapers more so he can be a pro. Who, even though he can be a tad bit forgetful, will travel on to every single store/gas station to find me a damn piece of taffy (you know those long, sticky, chewy Willy Wonka things we all used to eat.. I'm DYING for one).
A few girls here that I feel like I'm growing closer to and am extremely thankful for. We went to THE BEST salad place for lunch yesterday and I can't wait to take Trey back there next week!
And lots of family that will all be here to visit within the next month or two. I'm under no illusion that they'll be here to see me, but that's irrelevant.
Please tell me to refer back to this post if you see another one full of whining and moaning!