August 4, 2010

It's a Good Day

I'm not sure what exactly it is - probably hormones.. hey, they've cause every single bit of everything for the past 9 months, why not this too? - but I'm had an extremely good day today. Against all odds (waking up 3 times during the night and then up for good at 0530) I'm in quite the chipper mood and for the first time in longer than I care to admit, am feeling great about the future.

I hate that I've been such the Debby Downer. I have so many blessings in my life right now, what's there to be down about?!? I went back and read some old posts from this time last year and I used to be so witty and high on life.. I miss that girl!
I've felt kinda hopeless lately, I guess is the right word.
I've had a mental to-do list a mile long and no motivation or energy to start working on it. So at 530 this morning, I wrote that list out.. every single thing that I want to get done in the next three weeks. It helps a great amount to write out whatever it is in your head that is bothering you. I've always been such the diligent list maker... now I remember why!
On top of that, I've crossed 4 things off that list so far today... in the middle of working on another... and plan on dashing through one more on top of that! At this rate, that list will be my bitch before the end of the 3 weeks!

I've been miserable about our money situation. I mean.. we do fine. We just don't have much extra to do more than fine. Or comfortably fine. A lot of that has to do with our home back in SC (still hasn't been sold and Lex. county realized we were renting it so our taxes are going up through the roooooof starting in January. We're basically Screwed ... yes.. with a capital S.. if that house doesn't sell!). But ya know what? It's on the market and our renters are working so well with us... what else can we do but pray? That's the attitude I've decided to take... it's in God's hands and there's not much more we can do about it.

I've also been really looking forward to this so called trip home for Christmas. I started looking at tickets to fly home since Trey has a good idea about block leave... let's just say that unless there is some kind of Christmas miracle preformed - it's not happening! (Seriously.. about $1000 for two tickets??!?)  I've been incredibly depressed about that, but again, another enlightening mind set change today. Of course, I would love to be home with both of our families for Christmas. I would love for Drew to be able to spend that time with them. More so for our benefits then his I guess... he sure won't remember that! But we can't break our bank to do it. Uummm.. more realistically... we can make money magically appear to do it. Looking like it'll be our first Christmas as just the... THREE... of us. Trey and I have never spent a Christmas alone and I'm sure it'll be nice. It can be an opportunity to start some of our own traditions. Of course, it'll kill me to not be around everyone, but I CAN look at the bright side! Plus, I can fly home a month or two later with the babe.. it just would have been nice for Trey to be able to get home. He gets his own strong bouts of homesickness too!

Basically.. the point of this post... I have too too much going for me to let these hormones get the best of me.
A sweet, sweet boy that will join our family in a matter of weeks.
So close that starting tomorrow.. I'm starting with weekly doctor's appointments.
A husband who is extremely excited to become a daddy and has even learned how to swaddle and wants to practice diapers more so he can be a pro. Who, even though he can be a tad bit forgetful, will travel on to every single store/gas station to find me a damn piece of taffy (you know those long, sticky, chewy Willy Wonka things we all used to eat.. I'm DYING for one).
A few girls here that I feel like I'm growing closer to and am extremely thankful for. We went to THE BEST salad place for lunch yesterday and I can't wait to take Trey back there next week!
And lots of family that will all be here to visit within the next month or two. I'm under no illusion that they'll be here to see me, but that's irrelevant.

Please tell me to refer back to this post if you see another one full of whining and moaning!


Anonymous said...

I'm afraid I won't be able to make it back to TN for Christmas this year either. It's not because we don't have the money. It's because my husband can't get leave, and I fully understand and respect that. He had Christmas off last year. So, I figure we will drive out after the first of the year, and spend time with our family that way. Glad to see you are chipper!

Cam and Kristy said...

Yay for this little burst of energy for you today! Glad to hear the list is coming along ... so much so that you're motivating me to get things done too!

As for Christmas time, I totally understand the dilemma. If, heaven forbid, you are stuck in EP for the holidays, remember that there will be plenty of friends around (Ahem! Like us!) that can help you celebrate - so all is not lost. Besides, your first Christmas as a family ... just the three of you - how sweet would that be?

Meg said...

Glad to see you are more positive.

I know it's tough not getting to spend Christmas with your family. We spent our first Christmas alone last year, and I spent most of the day truely alone as my husband was working. It was great getting to create our own traditions, eating the foods WE wanted to eat and relaxing.

C. E. Welch said...

Ha, I was looking forward to Christmas on our own for the first time ever, until my father-in-law suggested they come down. And it's amazing that he suggested it, so I can't really say no! Now I have to plan way ahead for next year. I will have my own Christmas, dangit! :)

Glad you enjoyed Souper Salad!

Little Momma said...

You're allowed to have good days & bad just like the rest of us!

& now that you mention taffy, I'm wanting some too... the strawberry kind with the sugary-stuff on top...

Hope you snag a deal & can travel like you're wanting...

Ashleigh said...

Aw Jess I'm so happy you're happy :) I've been praying a lot for you, that this rough time would pass quickly. I hope it stays away until Drew is here!

heather said...

Glad you're having a cheerful kind of day!! I'm not pregnant, but I know all about feeling down and out sometimes. I'm glad you're able to see the positives to some of your situations. And even though not going home at Christmas will be a little sad, I know you will have a wonderful first Christmas with little Drew. And you're right, it's a perfect time to start your own traditions. Live it up and enjoy :)