Baby Brain

Nothing too interesting going on over my way, but thought I'd do a little post before my mum gets anxious ;) Love you.

My thoughts are consumed by this child and when he will be here. I have moments where I am terrified of going into labor (funny - I can't really get past that thought yet. I can't wrap my brain around bringing him home. One step at a time, I guess), begging God for relief... I can't wait to have a "normal" body again, to sheer excitement. Whether he comes early or late, I'm going to be holding my son in no more than 3-4 weeks! Incredible.

Mum has decided (I think) to wait until she hears news from us to book her ticket. She still has a free ticket to use from a flight she took last year that was overbooked, so really she doesn't need to rush to book anything since she won't need to worry about last minute costs. That way we know she won't be here wasting any time if he hasn't come yet. Sadly, I don't think my dad is going to make it down. The thought that he won't see his first grandchild tears me up inside, but I understand their thinking. My youngest brother will just be starting high school. They were planning on coming down for Labor Day, but what if Andrew isn't here yet? Plus, they were planning on using points that have built up for their tickets and if they don't come down, they want to give them to us to ensure we get home for Christmas. I hate that he will sacrifice to give us something we said we were going to do, but ended up not being able to afford it, but it would be really nice to be with all of our family for the holidays. Plus, my brother doesn't want to even miss a day of school... the kid is nothing like myself or my other brother.. just sayin..

I have a feeling that my little monkey will be here either on time or maybe even a little early, but they really just may be my optimistic, wishful thinking. I've had a few signs here and there - some I won't mention - like feeling some pressure down there and just different .... sensations if you will... but what do I know? I know I could feel like this for weeks. Most normal people would know if they've started dialating because they've for sure had an internal exam by 37 weeks, right? Oh no... not I.
Last time I went in, they said they'd start seeing me weekly after 36 weeks (which meant, I assumed, they would give me an exam during my 37th week since it would be a one on one appointment). So I go in for my 36 week and was told they'd see me in another two weeks for the next group (centering) appointment. No ma'am says I... I'll be 38 and 1/2 weeks by that point. Nurse acts like that's completely normal and now tells me they don't do weekly appointments until 38 weeks. So... in case that was a little hard to follow... that means I won't have weekly appointments until I'm 39 and 1/2 weeks along. Ummm.. helllo... he's almost well done at that point! I freaked out internally, almost cried, and waited around until she folded and said she'd try to get me an appointment for next (now this) week. I still haven't heard back and she's not answering her phone or returning my calls.
I did google this subject though, and saw a lot of people say that this is becoming the norm. That if you are fairly young and have a healthy pregnancy, that they won't do an exam on you until your in labor. The less poking and prodding they do, the better says people on google. So I feel a little better about it, but still am a little uneasy. I also found out they won't admit me until I'm 4 cm along. Lovely.

I just keep picturing that sweet boy I'll have at the end of all of this. It'll all be worth it in the end! Right?!