This morning was Andrew's Ophthalmology appointment. I felt good going in there, expecting the best. We got some good news and bad news..
The Good ~
Most likely, the difference in dialation is nothing. Apparently, 20% of our population has the same issue.. it's just a thing.
The Bad ~
It is also most likely that he can't see out of his left eye. As in, completely blind out of it or can see just very very little. He couldn't tell me this was 100% the case, but kept saying he is "pretty sure". Which, btw, has nothing to do with the dialation problem. When the doc covered up his left eye, Drew was able to follow the toy he had in front of his face fully. When his right eye was covered, he was clearly upset and wasn't tracking the toy at all. None of the three we tried.. not any of the multiple times we tried. If we hadn't gone in there, we probably wouldn't have found this out until his first eye exam.
We are being referred to a Pediatric Ophthalmologist off post to get more definitive answers.
A lot of things went through my mind.. was it because of his birth? Because they had to use the vacuum on him? Could it be my fault.. I already carry some guilt for everything that went wrong as it is. Did I help cause this too? If he is blind in his left eye, there is a chance he could develop a lazy eye. Kids are horribly mean. It will break my heart to know he is being picked on.
I know we can deal with this. It could be SO much worse! We will treat him no differently and he will know that he can still try and accomplish anything he would be able to with both eyes :) Trey is a little more angry and down about it all, but I'm trying to help him see that compared to what we've been through with him already, this is nothing.
Maybe this will end up being a non-issue, even. If the doc couldn't give me a 100%, this is the problem answer, I still don't fully believe it's true. If it is.. it's okay.. it changes nothing. He is still my happy, charming, adorable little boy :)