June 22, 2010

On my mind today

One thing I have noticed since becoming pregnant that absolutely baffles my mind, is the relationship between us moms out there. I'm talking every one of them. Family, friends, strangers. Everyone. I've seen this discussed on other blogs lately as well and I had to pipe in!

I would think there would be a sense of camaraderie between us all. Kind of like, "hey, I've been through it, you've been through it, let's help each other out" kind of thing. Instead, what I've noticed since day 1, is that it's more of a competition of sorts.

For starters, everyone has an opinion about every single matter. Which is normal, but if my opinion differs from yours, do you really have to belittle me for it? The one I've ran into personally the most is epidural vs. natural. YES, I have every intention of getting an epidural as soon as possible when I go into labor. So you did all three of yours naturally, huh? That is great for you! I respect the fact that you wanted to give birth at home, in a bath tub... please respect my decision to go to the hospital and get drugged as much as possible. MKay? Thanks.
Being a SAHM vs. Working mom. Who cares what other people are doing? Why would you ever feel the need to roll eyes, make a nasty comment, think you are better than that person? Do whatever is right for you and your family. This is a hard choice to make and everyone is different. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM and vice versa.

I could go on and on and on. Breast feeding vs. Formula. Letting your baby cry it out at bed time or not. blah blah blah.

Not only is every single mom different, but so is every baby. I see "baby competition" happening all the time and I think it's horrible. Babies develop at different stages. Just because baby number 1 started rolling over/crawling/talking, etc. before baby number 2 did... please don't make mom number 2 feel like a complete failure because of it. Just try not to compare your children okay? Especially with first time mothers... it hurts mom number 2's feelings... I've seen it happen.

Main point of this jumbled up thought process? I REALLY wish we could be more of a support system than a device to compare and contrast notes. In the end, isn't all that matters is that mom and baby are happy and healthy? Who cares how we all get there, right?

Now... if I happen to notice your child is still breast feeding when he or she standing up.. THEN I may start judging a little...

8 comments:

Expat Girl said...

Haha you always know how to make me laugh, I loved that last comment! I know exactly what you mean though, I'm an epidural getting, formula feeding mum and I have had plenty of comments directed my way. Do whatever works for u huni!

JG said...

Amen girl! I'm not even pregnant yet and I had this exact post rolling around in my head. :) Seriously, why do people think that you can't live without their unsolicited advice? Most of those things I've already made up my mind about, and they don't follow the current earth-mother trends, and I expect the backlash (especially from my in-laws from whom I've already received many of those lectures).

Katie said...

haha...this sounds very similar to my rant from a few weeks ago! I feel ya.

Chelle said...

Oh it's gets crazy. You think it's bad now, wait until you enter the world of sports. The competition between parents vying for their kids to get spots on certain teams or make captain, etc is just ridiculous.

Just Ask Beth said...

Bottom line... we all "think" we know what to do with the baby, YOU and YOU only are the only one who knows your child. I am like you, do whatever makes YOU and BABY happy. Never ever compare, I cried once so hard over that and sometimes still do, it is just so mean. Let's all be more supportive and loving, I agree Mama!!

Juliana said...

There will always be mommy wars. When you have your baby you enter this exclusive club, which you are pledging right now. It's unlike any other and this bond you will have with other moms is out of this world. There will be all kinds of fights over moms about stuff...but really they will help you more than anything. I am So excited for you.

Jen said...

I love that you and I have such different methods we plan to follow! I have had so many things that have pissed me off that I haven't even been able to post on my blog. For example....people straight up asking me how much weight I've gained - ummmm none of your f-ing business. Or my personal fav is people telling me horror stories of their births or birth stories they have heard. So ANNOYING!!! You're going to be a great mommy - just ignore the negativity!

Ashleigh said...

I love you Jessica :) you're amazing and you'll be a great mommy! You let me know who is trying to make you feel bad, and I will shoot them a dirty look >:-o