March 22, 2010

Want some cheese with that whine?

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. It was a little strange here in Oklahoma. Friday, it was a beautiful 70-something degree day; on Saturday it was snowing all day and freezing! I was not too much of a happy camper about that! I'm happy to report though that there is no trace of snow left behind :)
We started our baby registry on saturday, so I'm sure my mum feels much better now. We had to drive to Wichita Falls, Tx since we don't have any decent stores here, but unfortunately they don't have a Babies R Us either, so we'll be making another trip this coming up weekend to OKC. Not a simple 10 minute drive down the road for us!

So, on to my whining. Hey.. you were warned in the title! I don't complain very often on here, not about serious stuff anyways... but it's a big part of our life right now and something I'm having a hard time dealing with.

Trey is going through the last phase of training. I know it differs with each branch, but I'm not sure if the intensity level is the same for all branches, so all I can speak for is his (Field Artillary - FA). It's very tough for them. Our life revolves around homework and studying. Here's what every day in our life looks like: he's gone from 5:30am to 5:30-6pm, he showers, then heads straight to the books until about 9-9:30 and we go to bed. This has been every.single. day since January. He doesn't have classes on most weekends, but the homework doesn't end for the weekend. And it's hard for him (and most of the guys) so we always get together with study buddies. Let me emphasize here how much I truly LOVE our friends here. I would have gone crazy by now without them. I love getting together with our friends. But yesterday, I had a bit of a mental breakdown.

I know he is physically here. I know it sounds awful for me to say this compared to women who are without their husbands completely right now. But I miss spending time with my husband. I truly value the time we get to spend alone together. I don't want it to be just him and I, by ourselves, all the time. All I'm asking for here is one day out of the week. I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I desperately miss having a little bit of one on one time with him.

I know it's not his fault. I know he doesn't enjoy living and breathing FA. I know he is doing whatever he needs to do to get through this last class, and get through it with a good grade. But yesterday, I didn't care what sounded logical. We spent Saturday night doing homework and then literally all day long Sunday doing even more homework. We got home last night and had 5 loads of laundry to do together. I may have, through lots of tears, broken down and told him exactly how neglected I felt... even though I knew there was not much he could do about it and me admitting this to him would only make him feel worse and more pressured.

He was a saint. He hugged me... and hugged me... and hugged me. We spend our laundry filled hours last night without any interuptions of the phones or computer (we did watch Life together.. that was pretty cool!) He made sure to kiss me goodbye this morning before he left. And I've received a few texts today from him, wondering how my day was and telling me he loved me. Really, that's all I needed. A little extra attention. So maybe, I'm a little high maintenence.. he's kinda okay with that :)

Bright side to this all, is I will say that I'm very thankful for his study buddies' wife. At least I have someone to share this time with. We take turns making dinner for the boys and then just hang out to pass the time. I think I'd be insane without her.


Sara said...

That does NOT sound high maintenance to me! Marriages need attention, and couples need quality time together. That isn't asking too much and obviously your husband feels that way too.

Christina said...

I know how you feel! I'm a Navy wife... and they recently changed my husband's hours and job on the ship. We now get up every morning at 230am and because of that, we are in bed by 6pm at the latest (usually. He's always in bed by 530-6pm but I have insomnia and it doesn't work too well with his schedule). Our Weekend is Wed-Thurs.. So we never get any time together, esp since he had all these tests he had to complete plus study for the E5 exam. Poor Guy was stressed to the Max.. and Me even more so. I felt alone (and still do a lot) and I broke down just as you did. I needed and wanted attention. I didn't need much, just something so I didn't feel invisible. Definitely not high maintenance... atleast I hope it's not considered to be! lol

Oh, and you can always do some of your registry online to Babys r us :D

J.L.S. said...

I'm the same way... my 2 love languages are definitely touch and quality time. Without those two, I turn into a not so pretty person. I'm glad he has been able to give you a little more attention and that it has made a difference in how you feel today!

We had some similar weather this weekend. Last week it was 60ish for 4 days in a row then a cold front came through Saturday. We had some flurries yesterday and today it has been cold and rainy all day. I think it's supposed to be like that for the next day or so and I don't see any warm weather on the horizon for us. :(

Meg said...

We had the same crazy weather here this weekend. And it's back to beautiful today!

As for the feeling neglected, that's totally understandable. Tech school is a very stressful time on a marriage. I wasn't with my husband, but there were many nights on the phone that I would get upset becuase he couldn't talk long enough. It will get better once he's done though.

And thanks for the thoughts on deployment!

JG said...

I'm sorry! I'm sure Trey misses you just as much as you miss him! Just know it won't last forever - it just seems like it.

Paige said...

I'm not sure how any of this feels. Although, I do know how it feels to need someone close to you or show you some extra attention. Hopefully you and your Hubby will find a day to get some great QT time together soon!

Michelle Ioapo A'etonu said...

i totally know how you feel. when my hubby is home, I'm always craving his attention and I can be quite whiny too when I don't always get it. your hubby is such a sweetheart. i can't believe you have to go through all that trouble to get registered for baby stuff. I know you'll have fun at Babies R Us! they've got so much stuff!

Erin said...

I think it is totally normal and understandable to feel this way. Even when we know it isn't their fault, it still is hard not to get upset and feel neglected. Especially, when you add pregnancy hormones into the mix!

Mrs. G.I Joe said...

Jessica, you're so cute I might have had to hug you myself!!! Needing a little of hubby time is not high maintence! I totally get your frusteration, being in the same situation myself...Rob is gone by 4:25 in the morning and doesn't come home until 6-7 at night...He does this six days a week with CQ mixed in there a few times a week...On top of that I work most evenings so when he gets home, I'm not there to greet him. His only day off is Sunday, but I am scheduled most Sundays...ICK...I'm telling you this only to show you that, I KNOW! Not trying to have a pitty party on your blog or anything:p I'm really glad that Trey is the kind of man who was sensitive to your break down and was able to gave you what you needed, when you needed it:) Thats what makes these hard times so great, becuase we have amazing husbands:) They don't enjoy spending that time away from us any more then we do... Hugs:)

Ashleigh said...

That is completely understandable! You have such a great, hard-working, loving hubby :)

You guys are so well-matched. Im glad you brought it up to him!! Now he knows and can do the sweet nothings that you appreciate :)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry that your hubby is pretty busy these days...Hang in there! I feel your pain your hubbys schedule sounds much like mine these days with the school he's attending. Hugs