~Happy Humpday~

With my recent, brief bout of self-diagnosed depression, and my finding that I had nothing to worry about in the first place, I've decided to put more focus on the positive aspects on my life. I have to give credit to Kate for this idea. I was reading her blog yesterday where she listed 10 items that made her happy, when I thought to myself that I should dedicate one post a week to the things that have put a smile on my face or I am thankful for during the previous week. Wednesday seems to be the day because it was the only clever Title I could come up with...
1. a week ago today was my 2nd last day at work. The 4 layer Godiva chocolate cake sho did make me smile. And I was definitely thankful for all my co-workers who sat around joking and chatting it up while we ate that small piece of heaven.
2. My family. Spending the last two nights I had in town with them was great. Especially Friday night when we went to San Jose for dinner and sat outside in the perfect weather enjoying the food and drinks. Then having a glass or two of wine with my mom on the deck when we got back home.
3. Verrryyyy thankful for a uneventful trip out here to Oklahoma. I feel like it could have gone a lot worse.
4. The 2nd morning of my trip when I looked around me in somewhere, Arkansas and felt that pride of knowing I had made it all by myself. This is a huge accomplishment for me!
5. Walking in to our apartment for the first time and seeing not only my husband, but the flowers and card he had for me as well.
6. Rediscovering each other has definitely made me happy. I'm loving all the time we're spending together right now :)
7. Driving around this new town by myself and checking things out. I love driving down the road, looking over to the left and seeing little mountains. Huge change of scenery for me and I love it.
8. Our new kitchen table, chairs, and couch being delivered yesterday.
9. Realizing that delivery boys are from SC and chatting them up about that!
10. Having one girlfriend in town already. Not someone I met brand new, but a couple that I met while Trey was in OCS.
11. DVR
12. Went to dinner Monday night at Chili's and felt good knowing that 100% of their proceeds went to St. Judes Children's Hospital.
13. Speaking of food... trying out restaurants that are new to me excites me greatly. I can't wait to try every.single.one.of.them. (good thing I've been spending lots of time in the gym)

That's it for this week!

Home Sweet Home?

I MADE IT!! Safe and sound and in one piece.
It's really not as bad as everyone made it out to be... i don't think.. yet. Yes, it's a very small town. But really... everything I need is here (on one of the 2 main roads). Except Target of course, but I digress. That's what online shopping is for. Our little apartment is just perfect. It's plenty big enough for the two of us. I'm really not that hard to please.
I got in around 2:00 yesterday and we we're going going going nonstop until bedtime. Hubs got a thoughtful whim up his sleeve yesterday and had flowers and a presh card waiting for me. He tried to get me a bottle of wine as well, but apparently, they don't sell wine on Sundays here. Beer? Yes. They even have a beer drive-thru here.. ha! But you cannot buy wine on Sundays. Weird. We ate and ran a bunch of errands. I straightened up our little haven immediately and got some candles burning so it smells a little more like home.
Got a laundry list of things to do today to keep me busy as well, but I have a feeling that I'll have a lot more time for the gym and blogging. I do have to find something to keep me busy everyday (you know.. like a job). I don't think I'll find errands to do everyday to get me through.
Point of this post: I'm a lot happier than I thought I'd be. It is what you make of it. We'll have NO control over where this life takes us for as long as hubs decides to stay with this. I have to get up every morning and decide to make the best of every situation I'm put in. I can either decide to be miserable or happy. Either way life is going to keep trucking on, so I might as well smack a big fat smile on my face!

Whewww!

Made it much much further than I thought I would today ~ not on purpose! I'm in the middleofnowhere, Arkansas. There is seriously NOTHING out here. I really wanted to stop before it starting getting dark... little did I know that once I got on 40W there would be nothing but fields for miles and miles - and miles. I started getting pretty damn panicky when it was full on dark outside. I was pretty convinced they were going to make the next Wrong Turn horror flick after me. Thankfully, I got a call from one of my many motherish figures back home and we found an exit close by that had lots of hotels. Love the internet!
I'm exhausted and feel the need to get tested for diseases after all the sketch bathrooms I've been in today, but wanna hear the good news?? I'm about 6 hours away from my husband :)
Off to Oklahoma tomorrow!

Moving Day!

Well after all the waiting and all the drama ~sorry about all that~ the big day is finally here. As we speak right now, my house is being rampaged, clearing out room by room. I feel a little awkward. What should I be doing? I've made all the small talk I think I can possibly make (even I have my limit), offered up drinks, it's a strange part of the day to offer any food... so here I am. Standing around blogging while they're clearing out my house.
I have to say - they do a great job. So far at least. What a relief to see other people come in here and do all this crap for me. With my little ADD problem this would have taken me months to get done!
Side note: I'm pretty sure one of them is ganking our liquor. He opened the liquor cabinet and had this conversation with me:
him: all this going?
me: I didn't think you could take any of that.. you know.. being liquid and all.
him: Oh no no.. we can take that.
*he mumbles incoherent nothings as I sadly say goodbye to my yum flavored vodkas, secretly knowing I'll never see them again*

Now that everything is starting to get on a roll, I'm pretty pumped to get on the road Saturday morning. All that's left for me is one more night out with some coworkers tonight, a day of cleaning and buying a GPS, and Friday night with my family. I hope to be in Oklahoma by Sunday night!!

Later added:
I'm convinced this stuff really only happens to me. Luckily I enjoy laughing at myself.
Man those movers are nice and thoughtful. Not only do they come and load up all of your stuff for you so you don't have to lift a finger ~ they then turn around and leave you a gift!! What? They've never left any of you anything? Let me share! Minutes after they leave, I attempt you use the little girls room. As I lift open the toilet seat I have to back away to keep from losing the pizza I just ate. Mr. Mover Man's pizza got to him apparently and decided to relieve himself in my bathroom. He also decided to clog the toilet something fierce. AFTER he packed the plunger I guess. Reaaallyyyyy??? Then he had the audacity to shake my hand before he left. Niiccee.. looks like I'm adding Lowe's into my above list of things to do.

Making the Best of it

A new week seems to have brought out a SLIGHTLY more optimistic view point. I'm not saying I'm magically cured from all my thoughts and worries, but I am a little better off. I'm feeling a tad bit of excitement about getting there, although it is very small, it's still there. Mostly I'm having to just keep myself busy.
Right after I put that last post up, my slightly older BFF called to ask if I wanted to go to the Carolina game with her. UUMMM YESSSSS! I was immediately uplifted and shot out of bed to get ready. To say I was pumped was a little bit of an understatement. I seriously did not plan on getting out of bed for another 5 hours. Just how much fun we had at that game is not going to be discussed here ;) We did a little more tailgaiting than game watching! But anywho ~ that kept me busy all day Saturday.
I wasn't feeling my best Sunday, but went to my parents house to watch the Pats (they sure as hell didn't pick my mood up) then to my in-laws for dinner. I was still in a bit of a funk that day though. Today after work is when I could feel a little bit of a change. Whether it be the ahhmazing workout I had or getting a text from Trey asking me to bring some of my mom's candles with me and to hurry up and get there so I can make that little place a home ~ I could feel something life inside. I'm not delusional and I know I'll go through things like this for a while back and forth, but it was nice to finally feel some optimism again.. and I think I'll ride it for as long as I can :)

PS ~ hubs has been incredibly helpful throughout all of my pity party. I've told him every bit of this and more so and he's been so understanding and uplifting. He's a much better person than me. I'm pretty positive that had the tables been turned and he was the one dreading coming out to live with me in Oklahoma, I may have taken that too personally. He's a saint. The end.

PSS ~ my spell check is playing games with me. If there are too many horrific misspellings (that one included) I'm sorry... I tried to spare you!

The Hard Truth

I am not in a good place right now. I'm not myself at all.
I think I've been fighting this off and on for a couple of months now, but I really think I've fallen into a for real state of depression or something and it's gotten to the point where I'm worried about myself. All I want to do is stay in bed. It's extremely hard for me to get out. I thank God I was called back into work until I leave (a week from today) because I really don't know what I would have done with myself. It's hard for me to eat. Those that know me best are probably ready to have me committed after hearing that. I live for food. Lately the thought of it turns my stomach.
It's gotta be the fact that a big fat dose of reality has hit me about moving. I don't know why I'm so worked up about it. I can't explain why. All I know is every day that it gets closer, the deeper and deeper I sink in to this funk. I don't feel like that is normal. I want to get more and more excited every day because I'm that much closer to living with Trey again. But the simple truth is I'm not. The thought of getting in that car next week and driving away makes me nauseous.
The few people that I've talked to about this that are not military, tell me that this is normal. That I've been living on my own for 8 months and they completely understand how scary it must be to just pack everything up and just go. For the first time in my life, I'm packing up my car and leaving everything I know and am comfortable with. They understand the thoughts that are literally breaking my heart.
What I'm afraid of though, is what everyone else thinks. You girls that have been through this and have been going through it for a long time. Is this normal or do I need some serious help? Please tell me this gets better!

Staying True To My Name

Man... I really feel like I made this whole moving thing way harder on myself than it needed to be. In my defense, we weren't sure if this was going to be considered a PCS move since we're only there until the end of April. And regardless of what the Army considered it ~ I was going with him. Come hell or high water. So, just to be on the safe side, I started packing. One room in our house is dedicated completely to boxes. Not such a good thing says Transportation. Not too big of a deal, but I will have to un-tape all those boxes I took the time to tape. Oh well, done.

Now I've never actually been through one of these moves, but it sounds like it goes pretty smoothly? Feel free to bust my bubble if you feel the need. The only thing I'm a honestly more than a little down about is the fact that hubs is leaving tomorrow. They aren't coming to pack our stuff until the 24th and 25th. Then loading it up on the 28th. Which means I can't leave until then. I know it's only a couple more weeks, but I sho am sick of waiting! I feel like I've been talking about this and waiting for it until I'm blue in the face. The fact that we have had NO CLUE what we're doing all along hasn't really helped, but next time we'll know *hence the title of my blog... Learning As We Go...*

Grrrrrr! I'm ready to get out there and start a new life in Oklahoma!!

I Can Finally Share!

Remember this post?? It felt like it was oh-so-long-ago!! I've been keeping this in for so long. I really didn't mean to keep everyone in suspense (because I know you've just been hanging on the edge of your seat). When I first got this news, I naively thought the owner of the great news was going to let me blab about it all over the Internet. Not so much. But my SIL, Melissa, has FINALLY given me the green light so here it is. Ya ready??


I'm going to have my first niece come the end of January!!! Yup, Trey's sister is 5 months pregnant and she found out today that she is having a little girl. She was so hesitant to let me blab my big mouth about it because she wasn't out in the open with it herself. She is by far old enough to have a baby, but her and her boyfriend aren't planning on getting married right away. And you know, unfortunately there are still stigmas attached to that. So I can't say that I blamed her. But I was just ddyyyyying to come out with this news. Her family is very supportive and we're all pretty dern excited to meet this little girl in January. Well, Trey and I won't be meeting her then, but hopefully not long after! Even though I won't be there to meet her in person, I'm sure her pictures will be all over this blog!

So there you have it... my big news. We're getting Trey all ready for his road trip. Got his car looked at today and oil changed. Got his packing list together. Tonight we're hanging out with my family and going to my brother's baseball game. And tomorrow's the big transportation briefing... at 8:30 in the morning.... Grrrrr!

Stolen!

I saw this post on one of my favorite blogs this morning, Home is Where the Army Sends Us, and had to swipe the idea for myself! I don't have much mental capacity today so here it is:

Sitting... on the futon. Somewhat watching an old episode of Intervention.
Drinking...Nothing at the moment but seriously debating getting a cup of OJ to take my Zyrtec D.
Noting... that since Trey's gotten home there seems to be a lot of random junk appearing all over the house again. I thought I had this all under control. Where is all this crap coming from?
Weighing...the pluses and minuses of showering today. I'd rather not but it may be necessary. I really should at least wash my face.
Tired...yes! From staying up/out too late and getting up earlier than I wanted to.
Thinking... about waaayyy too much. There's usually about 20 random thoughts going through my mind at any given time. It's a wonder a don't go insane.
Wondering... if I should go outside and help Trey with yard work. And if I did would I be doing much good? I feel pretty worthless right now.
Reading... Jodi Piccoult's latest, "Handle With Care". I love it and can't wait to finish it.
Recently finished... said episode of Intervention.
Also wondering...what I'm going to do with my life in Oklahoma.
Needing... more money.
Not liking... know what? I can't think of anything at the top of my head. Why force myself to think about something I'm not liking if I'm not thinking about it already. I'm skipping this one!
Feeling silly... ha! For staying out too late with some girlfriends and drinking more than I intended. And for having to call hubs at a somewhat horrible hour to pick us up. Then having to do the walk of shame this morning in the parking lot I left my car at while the cooks were having a good chuckle to themselves asking me if I had a good night last night.

Denial?

I am feeling NO emotion about this move that is quickly becoming a reality! I don't know what's wrong with me. I came to this conclusion yesterday when I realized I was saying OUT LOUD that I was sad and dreading it, but that's not what I was feeling inside. I've always been such an emotional person, so much so that you might have classified me as emotionally unstable (yeah... that bad), so I think I have been saying that I'm sad and upset because that's what everyone expects me to say (myself included).
I thought I was going to be a WRECK on my last day of work. Not at all. (I'll save that day for it's own separate post). When I think about seeing our friends and families for the last time, I have NO sense of dread or sadness. I really don't think I'm going to even cry. Don't get me wrong... I'm going to miss everyone terribly, but when I moved 15 minutes away from my family I bawled for the entire night. Something's not right here!

I'm thinking the answer to this could be a multitude of things

1. I'm growing up and maturing (ha.. doubtful)
2. I know that it's not really goodbye. My grandfather always taught us that it's "see you later". Goodbye means never again.
3. I'm just that excited to live in a new place with Trey.
4. I'm cold hearted and have no feelings. (kidding)
5. Between blogging, facebook, email, texting, and good ol' fashioned phone calls, I won't feel like I'm very far away anyways.
6. My last thought and hopefully not the correct one.... I have a big fat case of denial.

Of course I'm going to miss everyone, but I think I've been waiting for this for so long that I'm just ready to get this show on the road! We have our transportation briefing Wednesday morning. My first one ever! Wish me luck!!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Football season is off to a wonderful start. My cocks started it off with not so much of a bang Thursday night. Yes we won and all but it wasn't necessarily pretty. Quite a boring win and we're still gangster as ever with the dirty moves like trying to break people's necks and all with no shame. Not even trying to hide it. But ya know.. that's who we are. Predictable every year and that's okay.

Tonight's when the REAL excitement starts for me. I've suspected the change rising in me since last year, but this year I'm ready to fully admit it. Hubs has finally changed my heart. After 8 seasons of watching football together.... I admit defeat. My heart fully bleeds Crimson.

First game is tonight against Virginia Tech and I cannot wait. Never fails to be an exciting game and i'm praying I know this season will be as good, if not better, than last year. Remember last year? We go undefeated all year and then lose the SEC Championship game to Fl and the bowl game against Utah. I can stand losing to Florida... it's Florida.. nuff said. But Utah? Utah??? Ohhh it's too painful to even bring back those memories. I sometimes think that's really the reason hubs joined the Army shortly after that game. Life as he knew it could never be the same after that.

One thing I will miss on that field this year? This delicious piece of juice:

John Parker Wilson ~ what will I do without having you to drool over cheer on all season??? I'll tell you what tonight's energy will be focused on. Coughing, blowing my nose until it's raw, and spitting out continuous drainage. (sorry for that disturbing visual). That's right, it's my turn to have the crud. I'm just praying I don't pass it on to Trey before he makes the trip out to Oklahoma Thursday!

Just a lil Update & a Memory

Nothing much going on around here! We've just been enjoying each other's company constantly.. with a slight little interuption called work. Not such a bad thing though... this is my last week working there and I'm getting a little emotional about that. I know Friday's going to be a pretty rough day for me. Better believe that when we go out for dinner Friday night with friends that hubs is going to have to be DD. His turn ~ I think I'm going to have one of those drown my tears in beer nights ;)

We went to church Sunday morning. I mention this because it was a little moment I had where I felt extremely close to my grandmother. It was nice. Speaking of which, I have a copy of her obituary I want to post. Not so much because I think you will all find it thrilling, more so because I know I'll always have a copy of it if I put it here. Sad that I don't know how to keep things like that other than blogging anymore? Maybe.


Ann V. (Riggs) McGrane
MARLBOROUGH Ann V. (Riggs) McGrane, 82, of Marlboro, formerly of Hudson and Florida, died on Friday, Aug. 28th at Bolton Manor Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Marlboro with her loving family at her side. She was the beloved wife of the late William McGrane who died in 2002. Ann was born in Frederick, Maryland, daughter of the late Floyd and Anna Riggs. She attended Culinary Arts School for two years after high school in Rochester, NY and was a Chef at the former Saint Anns Convent in Marlboro for many years. Anna and her husband William resided in Hudson for many years before retiring to Florida for 20 years. She has resided in Marlboro the last 9 years. She is survived by her son, Michael G. McGrane of Worcester; four daughters, Kathleen Blood and her husband Ronald of Hudson, Lynda Gordon of Athol, MA, Carolyn Sciabarrasi and her husband Dennis of Lunenburg and Ann Yetton and her husband Charlie of Columbia, South Carolina. She is also survived by her ten Grandchildren and eleven Great Grandchildren. A funeral mass will be celebrated on Monday, Aug. 31st at 9:00 a.m. in the Immaculate Conception Church, 11 Prospect Street, Marlboro. Burial will take place at the convenience of the family. There are no calling hours. Funeral arrangements are under the direction of: Tighe-Hamilton Funeral Home, Inc. 50 Central St. Hudson, MA 01749. (www.tighehamilton.com). In lieu of flowers, donations in memory of Ann may be made to:
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American Cancer Society, 30 Speen Street, Framingham, MA 01701.

Other big plans for the week:
The gym tomorrow is a must for the both of us.
Thursday night = first Carolina game of the season ~ holllllaaaa! I'm so excited. We'll be getting together with some friends to watch that massacre.
Friday night = dinner with more friends and said plans of drowning my tears.
Saturday = gym and first Alabama game. Hubs is beyond thrilled

It'll be a VERRRRY happy household if we can pull out a win for Carolina AND Bama this week... keep your fingers crossed. Unless of course your a NC State or Virginia Tech fan. If so, uncross those fingers!!