I am not in a good place right now. I'm not myself at all.
I think I've been fighting this off and on for a couple of months now, but I really think I've fallen into a for real state of depression or something and it's gotten to the point where I'm worried about myself. All I want to do is stay in bed. It's extremely hard for me to get out. I thank God I was called back into work until I leave (a week from today) because I really don't know what I would have done with myself. It's hard for me to eat. Those that know me best are probably ready to have me committed after hearing that. I live for food. Lately the thought of it turns my stomach.
It's gotta be the fact that a big fat dose of reality has hit me about moving. I don't know why I'm so worked up about it. I can't explain why. All I know is every day that it gets closer, the deeper and deeper I sink in to this funk. I don't feel like that is normal. I want to get more and more excited every day because I'm that much closer to living with Trey again. But the simple truth is I'm not. The thought of getting in that car next week and driving away makes me nauseous.
The few people that I've talked to about this that are not military, tell me that this is normal. That I've been living on my own for 8 months and they completely understand how scary it must be to just pack everything up and just go. For the first time in my life, I'm packing up my car and leaving everything I know and am comfortable with. They understand the thoughts that are literally breaking my heart.
What I'm afraid of though, is what everyone else thinks. You girls that have been through this and have been going through it for a long time. Is this normal or do I need some serious help? Please tell me this gets better!