tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172126205577024612024-03-14T06:29:55.422-04:00Learning As We Go"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.comBlogger590125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-23554433321297501312014-08-18T15:01:00.000-04:002014-08-18T15:01:34.786-04:00Our FIRST first day of schoolWell, I thought I was going to hold it together. I did great showing face in front of him. I did good walking out with Wes. Then, I made the mistake of calling my mom and the water works turned on! What is it about a phone call to your mom that does that? <br />
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Andrew started 4K today! He is going to a Christian program at a local church. He goes 2 days a week, all day. From 9-3. (or 9:15 to 3:15... I'm still a little confused). I thought the school was perfect for him because it's main focus is learning through play. Sure, he'll do some worksheets, but it was important to me that the curriculum wasn't a crack the whip type. And, for us, it's a plus that learning about God and talking about him is a part of the day. <br />
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He did great this morning! His main concern before leaving the house was how Wes would be without him. I overheard a pep talk Andrew was giving him. "It will be okay Wes. I have to go to school, but you don't have to be scared without me. You will be with mommy all day and I'll be with lots of new friends. I'll see you when you come to pick me up". I'm not sure where Andrew's huge, loving heart came from, but I pray it never changes.<br />
When going in, they are to use the restroom, put their book bags in their cubby, grab the folder and have a seat. Goodbyes are done in the hallway. Which, fine fine, I guess is a good thing. I can see how me going in the room would make things more difficult. I may not have ever left!<br />
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It felt strange walking out with just Wes. I all of a sudden couldn't remember what it was like to have one kid. An 18 month old at that! What did I do with Andrew at that age?? We came home and played outside before the temperatures reached hell-ish levels. We had a snack and watched an episode of Team Umizoomi. Did our shape sorting. Colored. Changed a stinky diaper. Spun around in circles until he was falling all over the place and giggling. He yelled at me to make lunch, so I complied. (serious). We read some books and he is now down for a nap. <br />
One benefit to this whole school thing - I have a kid with me who is guaranteed to nap! I exercised, straightened up the house, have cookies baking and LOOK!! - I'm blogging. <br />
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I really do miss him. Like heart hurting miss him. I've had to hide my phone from myself once or twice to stop myself from calling and checking in on him. It's a scary thing to entrust your children with someone else when they've depended on no one but you for almost 4 years. Well I guess it's scary anytime. I've spent a lot of time in prayer and have been reminded that he is in God's hands. I know I'm not supposed to worry. I've prayed for peace in my heart because I'm not supposed to live in fear. I've prayed for his safety and well-being. For him to have FUN and make great friends. For his teacher to have a soft, loving heart and for her sanity :)<br />
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I can't wait to hear all about his day.. if he'll tell me about it!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-56280856735270771792014-04-01T23:26:00.002-04:002014-04-01T23:26:41.596-04:00Half a YearIsn't it funny that when you're in the thick of something difficult, something you may not be particularly excited about, 6 months can feel like a lifetime. Or when you are excitedly anticipating something 6 months away, it may feel excruciating. <br />
But if it's the opposite... if you're happily moving through life, if everything is as it should be, time flies faster than the speed of light. It seems to go just as fast if something you dread is coming up in 6 months. <br />
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I'm having a hard time grasping the fact that Trey has been in the states for about 6 and a half months and back with our family for just about 6 months. A half of a year. In some ways, it seems like such a long time. It feels like he was never gone. We've had little quirks we've had to work out, but in most ways, in the important ways, he just fit right back in and him being away doesn't even seem like it was a real thing. (I'm sure he would say differently)<br />
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When I think about the rhythm we've fallen into, our day-to-day life, it feels like it's been a long time. When I carelessly and without a second thought shoot him a text during the day or he calls during lunch, I feel like we've been doing that forever. When we settle down to watch our shows at night (or A show.. let's be real.. we're too tired to stay up past 9) it sure doesn't feel like there was this big blip in time where we didn't do that. *Fun fact, he was just sitting next to me, reading this and spilled his very cold water all over my lap. Like it jumped out of his hand and splashed all over me. And he laughed (while apologizing). Are you supposed to want to strangle your husband that's only been home 6 months??*<br />
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But it's ONLY been 6 months. <br />
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These two have only known each other for that long. And you'd never guess it. They are thick as thieves. That little boy's eyes light up when he sees his Daddy. Both boys wait anxiously by the door when they known he's come home. The time has just flown by. Six months is nothing and yet I sometimes already find myself taking his presence for granted. <br />
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It sure didn't seem like a small amount of time while he was gone. It seemed impossible. It was miserable at times. Time crawled slower than a snail. And now I find myself wanting it to slow down just a little. Time is a relative little thing, isn't it?Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-43430813192761143142014-03-17T15:30:00.000-04:002014-03-17T15:30:37.055-04:00GrowthI have coffee and sleeping kids. Could it be any better? I don't think so. <br />
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Last year there was so much going on while Trey was gone that I couldn't write about. I would sign on here and try to write, but I just can't be fake. I couldn't come on and talk about shallow things when there was so much going on. All this to say, I'm just going to write about where I'm at. It won't always be witty and light-hearted. But hopefully, there will be lots of that thrown in.<br />
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I'm a sucker for a resolution. I love the feeling of the new year and all of the promises that come along with it. A fresh start. But I've learned over the past 10 years or so that, well, they just don't usually stick. I heard a statistic on the radio the other day that only 8% of people actually keep their resolution. Why do we start this one day out with such high hopes and motivation, only to go back to hold habits in what? 2 weeks? <br />
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So I didn't do it this year, per say. I made goals, yes, but I didn't promise myself any one absolute thing. This year I was going to focus on growing as a person in general. And I think I'm off to a good start. <br />
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Did I need to lose weight? My God yes. My body looks like.. ya know.. two kids popped out of it in the past three years. There is that. But I knew I could be doing so much more to be HEALTHY. And it's hard to not compare yourself to others, am I right? I feel like I'm SURROUNDED by women who bounce back after pregnancy. I see it everywhere. But really, I don't know how hard they may work to get there. All I knew was how hard I was not working. <br />
While Trey was gone last year, I was doing really well with my eating habits. I was sticking to clean, real foods. I loved it and my body loved me for it. I was also doing Body Pump at the gym. And then.. well.. he came home and it all went out the window. Now my resolve has been gone. At the beginning of the year, I started a program called <a href="http://bikinibodymommy.com/category/90-day-challenge/" target="_blank">Bikini Body Mommy</a> and I've loved it. I've worked hard at it, but I haven't been eating the way I should have been. I'm stronger and healthier, and that is great, but I know I can push myself harder. I know I can feel more comfortable in my skin. So I'm working on it. I'm improving. I'm not where I need to be, but that's okay. I'm getting there. <br />
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I also wanted to grow in my walk as a Christian. We're doing something now that we've never done since getting married. We've found a church that we love and we go (excuse the pun) religiously. I'm also going to<a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/PWOC-Fort-Sill/104192756354120" target="_blank"> PWOC</a> every week and I love it. I'm purposefully surrounding myself around godly women. I'm praying more. I'm learning more. I know more about the old testament than I ever have thanks to PWOC. But I know my heart can do better. I'm doing all the right things on the outside, but I know my heart needs to be worked on.<br />
The idea of getting re-baptized has recently been on my heart.. strongly. I started going to church with a friend in middle school and somewhere in those years, was baptized, though I don't remember if I did it for the right reasons. Did I really understand what I was doing? I can say for sure that nothing changed for me afterwards. I didn't spend my teenage years following Christ, that's for sure. So I'm doing some soul searching and wondering if that is something I need to do again... knowing for sure why I'm doing it. Either way, I'm letting God work and mold my heart this year. And every year to come. <br />
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I'm trying to accept myself for where and what I am. I've always struggled with comparing myself to others, but I'm learning to be okay with ME. It's my life and my walk, I can't live it for anyone else. It's taken me a very long time to learn this. But I'm getting there. With everything. I may be taking extreme baby steps, I'm progressing in everything I've set out to progress in, and I would call that a win!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-20196712007160301722014-03-13T15:23:00.001-04:002014-03-13T15:23:18.309-04:00I WILL write more. I WILL write more. I WILL write...Promises promises. I tell myself them all the time. I will find the time. I miss writing. I'll do better, I promise. I have great intentions, I do. But then things get in the way. Like those two children who want to play with me. Dirty dishes and that dust that will not go away. Lack of sleep urges me to nap if I never find the chance. That little nagging voice in the back of my head (hi God) that says, "oh hey.. you still have 16 more pages to read out of this week's chapter for church. You promised you'd do that too". Then that silly promise I made myself about working out for 90 days. <br />
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So much to do. So very little time. <br />
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But this is such a creative outlet for me and I have been missing it my friends. I never realize how much until I sit down to type. It clears my mind. Makes me feel all good inside. Keeps my brain working. Let's face it. I'm just not being challenged enough by making animal noises, trying to remember those dern shapes and colors, or tracing letters. <br />
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So here goes another promise to myself. 30 days of straight writing (not including weekends.. or maybe weekends.. who knows). I won't lie, sometimes I'll probably need topic prompts, but I do have a few things I want to write about. Like how we have no clue what this year is going to hold for us. Or how one of my very best friends is leaving us in just a few short weeks and how devastated not only I will be, but my kids as well. How I've tried to grow myself this year so far and how much of a work in progress I am. My new found appreciated for being a stay-at-home-mama and how I really have been taking this time in my life for granted. <br />
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So hopefully I still have a few readers out there. It's hard to brush the dust off and get going again, isn't it? I'm going to give it my all! I'll throw in cute kid pictures to entice you!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Morning Cartoons (this is a rare thing.. the stillness.. so I had to capture it)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After Run or Dye this past weekend. It was cold and hell-ish.</td></tr>
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-62770449476889770672014-02-19T14:48:00.000-05:002014-02-19T14:48:52.648-05:00My Baby is ONEI know I have slacked majorly with writing about Wes. To be fair, I just haven't been blogging like I used to. But I won't waste time with excuses.. he'll just have to be reassured about how loved he is when he scours the interwebs, looking for blog posts on himself.<br />
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Wesley turned one two Saturdays ago, on the 25th of January. We had a small get together with some friends. I didn't go all out like I did with Andrew, but that's okay. We had fun, we celebrated Wes' life, and ate some delicious food, and Wes had his first cupcake. All was well. <br />
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Wes, you are such an awesome little boy! You are alike your brother in a few ways, but you are definitely your own person.. and I LOVE that. You two are alike in that you love a routine. You have the same sleep patterns (Thank you God.. seriously). You don't like to be away from Mommy or Daddy. You love most food. You have a sweet disposition. You hit milestones when you are good and ready to. And your favorite cartoon is Team Umizoomi. </div>
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There are also things that make you very much Wes, though. When you aren't teething or sick, you are so calm and content. You are very laid back. You're more independent and as long as you know we are in your general vicinity, you feel comfortable to explore and play on your own. (It took Andrew much longer to do that). While you enjoy food, you're a little more picky than your brother was. You won't let us help you eat, but you won't yet use utensils either. So it has to be something you can pick up, which means you have to approve of the consistency of it. If it makes your hands too messy, you won't eat it... </div>
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I don't have official measurements, because, well I won't go into how difficult it is to get an appointment at our doctor's office, but you are smaller than your brother was. And that is just fine. We happen to think you are pretty perfect. </div>
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You are all around just a joy to be around! </div>
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You love balls. You will throw them and chase them, play catch with us, roll them around the house. Anything with balls is a hit. Also, anything your brother is playing with. You love to be outside. You thoroughly enjoy music, and always have. You wave hi and bye. No words yet, not even a mama or dada, but I don't think your brother had yet either. Your favorite person is your Daddy. If he is around, you want him and no one else. Which is pretty amazing seeing as how you've only known each other for five months! </div>
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You are wearing size 18 clothes all around. </div>
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Size 3 shoes (close to a 4). </div>
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Size 5 diapers. </div>
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You're slowly moving your bedtime to 6:30-7, but up until now have always gone to bed between 5:30 and 6. Which means the time you wake up in the morning is moving from 6 to 7 (praise). </div>
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You are still taking two naps when you can, but can be stretched if absolutely necessary, though it's not fun. </div>
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Don't let the lack of blog posts fool you, Wesley. The three of us are head over heals in love with you!</div>
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I've always believed that Andrew was a very special child. Not in just a typical way, but that there was a little something extra going on with him. And I know, what parent doesn't, right? I've never been able to quite put my finger on it, but maybe an understanding of things beyond his years. Or a sensitivity to people that would really allow him to do something great with his life. <br />
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Since we've moved away from family again, we've put ourselves out into the community a lot more. While we were in Texas, Andrew was just far too clingy to allow for many others to care for him, so I nurtured that. Aside from hourly care here and there, we didn't do much that required him to be in someone else's care. But coming here, I was determined. I needed to get more involved, not only for my own sanity, but for the boys' happiness and well-being as well. So not going to PWOC was not an option. Church was going to be a given every week. They were going to have to adjust.<br />
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And now I'm hearing how others are seeing Andrew and it's (one) making my heart melt and (two) causing me to become so much more aware of how I need/want to guard his heart.<br />
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Last night, we had one of Andrew's Sunday school teachers from church come over to babysit. Her and her sister have told me frequently how much they enjoy having Andrew in their class, so when I found out about an "optional" (ha!) function Trey had and that spouses were "highly encouraged to attend", they were the first people I thought of. Luckily, she was more than happy to do it.<br />
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When I got home last night, we chatted for a while and, I admit, I shed a few happy, proud tears while she was talking about our son.<br />
At the start of Sunday school, they do praise time. They play music and let the kids sing and dance. There are younger and older kids together during this time, so while some (the younger) really enjoy it, some of the older ones are in that, "this is stupid" phase. Ms. J (that's what we're calling his teacher/babysitter) said that they use Andrew as an example frequently. That he just runs in there and dances like, forgive the cliche, no one is watching. That he is just giving his all to God and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks. That he is the epitome of having a childlike faith and sometimes encourages those older ones who may think it's a little silly to get up and dance anyways. <br />
She told me about a little three year old girl that came in one morning for the first time. She was visibly scared and unsure, understandably. Andrew walked right up to her and said, "my name is Andrew, do you want to be my friend?". She took his hand and they danced together until is was time to go into their classroom. She sat down next to him and he then told the teachers that she was his new friend and he would help her do everything.<br />
I was so speechless and taken aback. That is exactly the way I want him to be.<br />
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There are times when I pick him up from childcare from PWOC and they'll tell me a little something like how polite he was, or how he insists on helping them clean up.<br />
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I make it a point to do my workouts around him sometimes, because it opens up the whole living healthy conversations. Sometimes I'm visibly hurting or struggling, like yesterday. At three years old, he cares enough to stop what he's doing, come over and attempt to do the exercise with me and says, "Here mom, I 'll do it with you. Maybe then you won't hurt as much". It was all I could to not quit and just love on him.<br />
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There are just a very few examples, but they completely cover who he is. There are a few downsides to this.. like how sensitive he is. Super sensitive. It doesn't take much to make him cry. Which is totally fine here at home with us. But all of these qualities that I've praised about him, I'm afraid will also cause him to get picked on growing up. And really, that's fine. I know every kid, at some point, is going to get picked on. And for my kids, if it's going to happen, I hope it's because they are going out of their way to be kind. Or for being themselves, without caring what others think. Or for loving God totally and whole-heartedly. <br />
It's been an eye opening experience to see how others view him. It's made me be very aware of what I want to pray over him about. I pray that his heart NEVER changes. I pray that if he faces criticism, that he has enough strength and faith to withstand it and not let it change him. I pray that he continues to love people for who they are, without giving it a second thought. I pray that God gives me the wisdom and the words to encourage all of these things in him. I just pray that I do this whole parenting thing right! He is a truly special person and I hope I never screw that up!<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-85544003666197123452014-01-08T15:32:00.000-05:002014-01-08T15:32:38.261-05:00I Dislike WordpressI tried out Wordpress, trying to get my writing mojo back, and it really just made it worse. I don't like it at all. Blogger is more familiar and comfortable. Honestly, I was almost ready to stop blogging all together. I hardly have the time and when I do, I don't have the mental energy to spit out something interesting and witty. But this weekend I was getting pictures organized for scrapbooking, and looking back on past blogs to help me remember what was important in that time frame. It was such a big help and a ton of fun to go back and read about what was going on in our family! So I don't think I'm ready to throw in the towel. I think I'm finally just ready to truly do this for myself. I don't know if anyone is still following me here, but I'd love for our family and friends to follow along and see what's going on in our lives.<br />
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The holidays have passed and we're now into 2014. We had a really nice and quiet holiday season. For the first time since we moved away from family, 5 years ago, we stayed put. While it was sad at times, I'm convinced that we made the right decision. There was no rushing around. We were able to keep the boys on their schedule and enjoy the quiet. Trey was still off of work, even though we didn't leave, so we were able to have lots of quality time together. The kids were able to wake up in their own house on Christmas morning and we started our own traditions. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andrew made a move on him in his new car</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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New Years Eve was super quiet. We hung out at the house, got Chinese food take out, put the boys to bed and watched the NYE festivities going on around the world. However, we did force ourselves to stay up to midnight. Actually, I forgot. We stayed up until 11. Watch the ball drop from the Eastern Time Zone and called that a win!<br />
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While all of that time together was nice, I'm glad we are back into the normal swing of things. Trey has been super busy with school work. This week he has an 8-page paper and a briefing due. He has to turn both in on Saturday. Yes, Saturday class. That's as fun for him as you can imagine. His CCC (Captains Career Course) lasts until the end of May. We aren't yet sure where we'll be going after that, but should find out by early February. We are going to try and stay here actually, but you never know. I know he'll be glad when some of the uncertainty is gone. <br />
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We went back to PWOC today.. it was good for my soul! We've been out for a few weeks during the holiday and I realized just how essential that group of ladies is in my life. I feel refreshed and whole again after meeting this morning. Not only for myself, but it's great for the boys too. Andrew is having a blast there. His friend, Annabelle, was there with him this morning. He was so excited to see her in PWOC! I was told how helpful he was with cleanup and how well he did in general. The sweet woman that was with him when I picked him up, gushed about him for a little. Not only did he do so well, but she talked about how much fun it was for her to play the grandma role. The little one was sleeping in another woman's arms when I walked in. So, obviously he was pretty comfortable as well. And me.. it was refreshing to be back with my friends and learning more about the Bible. It's so nice to be able to befriend so many woman, of all age ranges, that all strive to put God first. I could go on and on about my love for that group, but this was supposed to be brief! I'm putting the boys into childcare on post one day a week for a few hours thanks to the urging of my husband to get some time to myself. I'm extremely, extremely nervous about this! I've joined the spouses club here and will be going to my first luncheon next week. <br />
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Andrew is enjoying playing with the new toys he got for Christmas. He's infatuated with the cartoon character Daniel Tiger and is now insisting that we call him Daniel. He's really into tracing letters and numbers, coloring, doing small puzzles, and as always, his cars. He's beginning to venture into Spiderman, which is fun. We are going to be signing him up to play his first sport that will start in March. We haven't decided yet between soccer or T-ball!<br />
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Wes is almost a year old. He's very curious about everything. Loves to walk holding onto our fingers, but I think is no more than a month away from walking on his own. I pray that I'm not wrong about that! He loves to play with anything that is a ball. He loves his walker, but not for the walking purposes. Only for the lights and music. He loves to throw things (doesn't matter what) and chase it by crawling. He's hard to feed right now because he doesn't want purees, but there's not a lot he can do finger food wise. He has 7 teeth and is working on two more, so that's fun!<br />
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And I think that is all! I yet again hope to write a little more often, but I'm not promising myself anything...<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-57729528725349662222013-06-20T14:13:00.002-04:002013-06-20T14:13:31.790-04:00Last PostI officially did my first post over at Wordpress! I love it. Sorry, Blogger, but you've been replaced!<br />
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<a href="http://nortyj.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/my-first-post/" target="_blank">So go ahead on over and read.</a> I've come so far. I even have a "follow me with bloglovin" button on the side bar. I know.. I feel accomplished. <br />
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So long, Blogger. Thanks for introducing me to blogging. You helped me realize that I do have a love for writing.<br />
I've met some really wonderful people. Some that I now consider true friends. One that I even got to meet in person. Hi Jaci :)<br />
I've vented. I've captured some precious memories. You've seen my husband join the Army and go off to war. You've seen me through moves across the country and back again. You captured my children being born and my start through this journey of motherhood.<br />
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I can't wait to see where life takes me while I'm writing about it over at Wordpress. No more kids that's for sure, but I'll be writing about watching my kids grow. On how Trey and I grow as our kids do. Who knows what part of the world I'll be writing from! Isn't that exciting? I'm excited to see what the next few years holds. I hope you can join me!<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-30829327572879607382013-06-19T22:22:00.001-04:002013-06-19T22:22:35.125-04:00<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3846692/?claim=v84mn36rw6t">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a><br />
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Bear with me! I'm having to "claim" my blog all over again with Bloglovin' and can't find my new one on their site. Apparently, I have to do this again over here and let them move my followers to my new link? I'm so confused! (Obviously). Pay me no mind for a while!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-73095348588630530402013-06-16T22:22:00.001-04:002013-06-16T22:22:25.972-04:00Making a MoveHey! It's been a while!<br />
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I've decided that I really can't give up blogging. I miss it. Maybe I am a writer after all. I never said a good one.. just a writer. I need to do it. Maybe the problem was that I've outgrown this space. Maybe a fresh start will jump start my creativity. Restart my writing mojo. I need to find something I lost along the way. The fun stuff.. the reason I was so dedicated to my blog in the first place.<br />
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So I'm going to give it a go. I'd love for you to follow me over to my new space in WordPress. I'm still learning. The only thing I've written so far is my About page. But, hey, it has pictures and everything, so isn't that a good accomplishment?<br />
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It seems a little more complicated, but I'll get it. It's definitely a learning process.<br />
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<li>Is there an easier way to direct you there other than giving you the link? </li>
<li>Assuming anyone would want to follow my new blog, how would you do so? I don't see a follow button anywhere.</li>
<li>I still haven't figured out this BlogLovin thing. I honestly haven't tried too hard though. How do I make that little button all the cool kids have on the bottom of each post that says, "follow me with bloglovin?"</li>
<li>If I decide to do so, is there an easy way to link this blog to that one?</li>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://nortyj.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Click here</a></span> to go check it out and see if there is anything else I am totally screwing up or if you notice something really cool/helpful I am missing! Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-40789160327556518252013-05-17T14:21:00.003-04:002013-05-17T14:21:43.013-04:00Done?I've thought a lot about this little blog of mine lately. I'm toying around with the idea of giving it up. Or I was at least. At this point, I think I'm just going to give it a rest. (or continue to give it a rest).<br />
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It's not necessarily that I don't have the time. I could MAKE the time and I always have. Since I became a Mama it was something I had to prioritize and it always WAS a priority for me. But lately, it hasn't been something I wanted to prioritize. The thought of it stressed me out more than it was a source of comfort/entertainment, nor is a form of an outlet for me. Basically, I haven't been enjoying it as much as I always have.<br />
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I thought I was DONE done, but I know I'd miss it too much. In all honesty, I already do. I have ideas brewing in my head of things I would like to write about. Just not right now. So I'll be back. I enjoy writing too much to never do it again. I just need a breather. Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-23576504307857159402013-04-29T22:48:00.000-04:002013-04-29T22:48:03.666-04:00Wesley - 3 months inAgain, even with the second time (maybe even more so), I find myself astonished at how fast the time flies. Wes being here is so normal and so natural that it feels like he always was. And just like THAT.. it's hard to picture what life was like before him. Funny how it all works.<br />
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So, what's up with the babe?<br />
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He's in 3 month clothing and size 2 diapers with size 3 right around the corner.<br />
I'm not sure how much he weighs, but if I had to guess I would say 14.5-15 pounds.<br />
He's drinking 5 ounces every 3 hours with the exception of that first bottle of the day. He wants 6 ounces in that bad boy.<br />
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He's accomplished so much this month. It's been a fun one!<br />
He's rolling from tummy to back.<br />
Cooing, smiling, and he just started giggling.. which is the best little noise on the planet.<br />
He had his first trip to the mountains. In fact, he's already toured The Biltmore.. very advanced, he is. <br />
He goes to sleep between 6 and 7 every night and *knock on wood* sleeps sometimes until 6 the next morning, but still waking up at either 4 or 5 a lot of mornings for that 6 ounce bottle. If he wakes up early to eat, he goes right back to sleep. If he wakes up 6 or later, he'll stay up for about an hour then take a nap. You won't catch me complaining about either scenario!<br />
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He is just in LOVE love love with his big brother. He smiles every time Andrew comes around and will follow his voice anywhere. The best decision we made was to give Andrew a sibling (and vice versa).<br />
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It may be twice the work, but it's also twice the love and fun. My heart feels like it's going to burst seeing them together.. smiling at each other, holding hands.. it kills me. And one day we'll all laugh about the little moments like Andrew hammering him in the head with his toy hammer saying that he's "fixing Wes"....<br />
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Baby Wes, we just adore you! You were the perfect addition to our now complete family. I don't know why I let myself worry and worry over not having room in my heart to love another child like I did your big brother. What everyone says is right.. you just do. I couldn't picture life without you! Your Daddy is already in love with you as well and he can't wait to meet you, little guy! <br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-87788542611051235702013-04-15T15:16:00.001-04:002013-04-15T15:22:10.113-04:00BlogLovinI've been flirting with this for about a month I guess (I don't know.. I have no conception of time since that new kid came along) but to be honest.. I have no earthly idea what I"m doing. I guess I'm following blogs already, but I haven't gone onto the site after that first lookieloo.<br />
<br />
But I really don't like the clock ticking reminding me I need to figure it out, so here's my second attempt. I copied the code so you can follow me over there. Go do it, I promise I'll get my act together one of these days and post more regularly.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3846692/?claim=v84mn36rw6t">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a><br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-66547841672860148602013-04-11T09:48:00.000-04:002013-04-11T09:48:27.343-04:00No Bad Days Allowed I've been working this post in my head for a while now, but I've gotten to the point where I'm obsessing over it. So it's time to get the words out.<br />
<br />
When you have young children, everyone wants to see you thoroughly enjoying every moment of your life.<br />
"Enjoy every second while you can"<br />
"This is the easiest it will ever be, just wait until they...."<br />
"You'll miss these days"<br />
And many other varieties of the same comments.<br />
And I'm sure they are right.<br />
<br />
Listen, I know how blessed I am. I know how lucky I am to have two healthy, beautiful, thriving children. I know what some people would only give to be in my situation and trust me, I'm very sensitive to that.<br />
But damn if this isn't tough sometimes (a lot of the times).<br />
<br />
I'm up with the both of them usually before 7 in the morning. They tag team me on most days. Rise and shine mom, we both need you NOW. It doesn't end until 8:30 at night. So for 13.5 hours I'm on. And it's mostly just me. My partner in all this isn't here. While there are wonderful, precious moments sprinkled in and some days are filled with those moments, there are going to be days where I just cannot find the good in it for the life of me.<br />
The days where I cannot bear to listen to ONE MORE whine. Where I feel like I've heard nothing but cries and temper tantrums. Where I might as well just get a tape recorder and just press myself saying, "get in timeout" every 5 minutes. Days where my back is killing me because every time I go to put my 2 month old down he screams. Days where I'm just flat exhausted by 8pm and I would give anything to have my husband here to give me a break so I can take a shower, a bath, have a glass of wine or just rest for a few minutes. Because while I do have my parents, it's not at all the same as having the other parent with you.<br />
<br />
So some days I feel like I'll never get through it. Some days I'm reduced to nothing but tears because that's all I have left. And in that moment, I don't want to hear how lucky I am. I don't want to hear that it's just going to get harder, but OHMYGOD, I can't handle it now, I don't want it to get harder! I don't want to hear that I need to be counting my blessings instead of allowing myself to be human. I don't want to hear that I should basically be sucking it up because, hey life is good.<br />
<br />
I know life is good. I know in the grand scheme of things, I'm extremely lucky. But sometimes, I just want to hear that someone else has been there. That they remember how hard it can be and to just hang in there, that tomorrow will be better. Tell me that as hard as it is, that I'm doing a great job. Be as quick to give out any kind of motivation to that mother of young children as you are to scold her for giving in to that long, hard day. Sympathize with her. Build her up.<br />
<br />
Because while we already know that the years go by all too fast. the days are extremely long. And sometimes we're just flat tired. Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-4070340865673059072013-03-20T14:51:00.001-04:002013-03-20T14:51:37.066-04:00Best Laid PlansI should have known. I should have known better than to get my hopes
up that my husband would be coming home early. I should have known that
it doesn't mean anything if you have orders. When he laid out the time
frame of his deployment for me and said it was a sure thing because..
hey.. orders have been cut... I should have told myself, that doesn't
mean jack. I should have NEVER put my written out countdown at 134 days.
We're dealing with the Army. I should have known better than to get my
hopes up about any plan that we helped put together.<br />
<br />
Before
this deployment rolled around, Trey was given orders for a Career
Course date. That date being mid-September. Selfishly, I was ELATED.
Beyond elated. This meant he'd have to come home early enough to
out-process from Ft. Bliss, take his 30 day leave, get to Oklahoma and
find a house. And things were going swimmingly. In fact, just a week ago
he got word that his last day of work over there would be June 15th and
he'd be back in the states by the end of June. We were so excited. He
was counting down how many weeks he had left. I was making plans to go
out.. by myself!!!... to see him for a 4 day weekend so we could get
reacquainted (get your minds out of the gutter) without the pressure of
taking care of two little boys. So excited. The time left seemed
manageable.<br />
<br />
Then I woke up to a lovely little message
yesterday morning that he had some bad news. I knew before even asking.
It was all too good to be true. Someone up at Brigade changed his
orders. Put him in the Career Course in November so he can ride out the
whole deployment. Which, had that been the plan from the beginning,
wouldn't even have been a thing. I don't want it to sound like he's a
shammer. You just get your hopes up and get used to a certain idea, ya
know?<br />
<br />
I was devastated and actually went through a few stages of grief.<br />
<br />
At
first I was so sad and disappointed that it was hard to grasp for air
through the tears. You may as well of just ripped my heart out of my
chest. 6 more months seems SO. MUCH. LONGER. than 4 more months. The
daily countdown was becoming easier to look at. There was an end in
sight. I was getting to the giddy stage of deployment. Now it just seems
unreachable again. I won't visit him until September. We won't be
together again until mid-October. Depressing. So far away. He's going to
miss so much more. He'll miss Andrew's 3rd birthday. He left a young
toddler. He's coming home to a 3 year old and a 8 month old that he's
never met. 2 and 6 months didn't sound quite as bad. And I'm sure it's
all in my head, but when I thought about Andrew and Trey becoming
accustomed to each other again, doing it in August sounded doable. For
some reason, I'm worried about it now that it's two months later. I'm
sure this all sounds irrational.<br />
<br />
I quickly moved to
anger. WHO just switches orders like that? *I know.. I know.. I know who
can and will do that. Go with me here.. I was livid and not thinking
clearly*<br />
What I am still holding onto anger about, though, is that
I don't see what the need for it is. He'll be moved from his BN around
the time he was supposed to come home. But, get this, for what? No plan.
No specific plan for him. AKA.. no specific reason to keep him there.
The only thing I can make of it, is that I know how hard he works and I
know how incredible his work ethic is. I'm not just saying this because
he's my husband, but I know he works harder than 99% of people around
him. And that's not a dig against everyone else. That's just how much he
puts on himself. So of course they're going to keep him. He carries a
lot of the weight and in my little ol' mind that should be rewarded by
sticking to his orders.. but who am I?<br />
<br />
I then moved
into where I am now and where it sounds like Trey is as well. Reluctant
Acceptance. There's nothing we can do to change this. I can't sit around
pissed off for 6 more months. I have to look at the bright side. I have
to find the good. So, I'll make the most out of the time I have with
family and friends here. I know that a few months after leaving again
and the novelty of living with Trey again wears off, I'll miss everyone
back here. Deeply. So I'll soak up this time.<br />
I have more time to
work on my fitnasss. I have a membership to Gold's while I'm here. I
can work out as much as I want.. and.. bonus.. they watch my kids! I've
been averaging 3 times a week. I'm doing it for myself, don't get me
wrong. I feel better when I work out (obvious) and I want to look good
in my clothes for me. I want more energy when playing with the kids. But
what a great bonus it would be for my husband to say, "dayyummmm girl"
when he sees me for the first time. Well, I have two more months to work
on getting that reaction.<br />
And, of course, there's two more months of deployment pay. I'd rather have my husband, but I'll take it. <br />
<br />
I
went through the stages rather quickly. This all happened in the matter
of two hours. But that's what I do. That's what I have to do. In the
Army, there aren't many aspects of life that you have control over.
You're at the mercy of the big machine's whims. The only thing I CAN
control is my attitude and outlook. So, go ahead Army. Throw whatever
you want at me. I may throw a temper tantrum, but just give me a little
bit of time. I'll come around. I'll support my husband and be more proud
of him than most people can even fathom. I'll wait for him and make
sure his kids always remember who he is and keep him in conversation
every day. And we'll get him back. Just a little later than expected.
And that's okay... I guess.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">As hard as this is on me, I know it's 10 times harder on Trey. He's <span style="font-size: x-small;">working so hard every single day of the week<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span>and hardly resting. I get to see joy on my son's face when we go to places like the park, Chucky Cheese <span style="font-size: x-small;">or Mon<span style="font-size: x-small;">key Joes and no matter how sad I am, his smile lights my heart up.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> I get <span style="font-size: x-small;">newborn<span style="font-size: x-small;"> snuggles throughout the day and get to witness a whole 'nother little being<span style="font-size: x-small;">'s milestones. He's missing out on all of that. So if you don't mind, and when you think of it, say a pra<span style="font-size: x-small;">yer for him<span style="font-size: x-small;">. He could use a little extra help </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>getting past this setback. We'd both really appreciate it!</span><br />
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-75767159672699771932013-02-25T15:43:00.000-05:002013-02-25T15:43:47.141-05:00One Month. The Wes Edition.If you care to read about Andrew at one month you may do so <a href="http://jnsouthernyankee.blogspot.com/2010/09/1-month.html" target="_blank">here</a>. I can imagine that the only one to click that link will be my mama. It made me almost cry because I saw that at this point Andrew was sleeping from 9pm to 2 or 3 in the morning. Then back to sleep until 6. Wes gets up every 3 hours like clockwork. Waaaaaa!!<br />
<br />
Little Wes, I love you even though you never let me sleep! How could I not?<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TzEA3c8yiZs/USvJhQqZfII/AAAAAAAABfg/tuU_mzOmgQ0/s1600/1month.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TzEA3c8yiZs/USvJhQqZfII/AAAAAAAABfg/tuU_mzOmgQ0/s320/1month.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ignore that little blue line you can see through his onesie. I know I needed to change his diaper. I may not have.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
For comparison, here is your brother at one month:<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8luuf7969Y8/USvKPTcx17I/AAAAAAAABfo/jzL6AKFK0PM/s1600/D1month.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8luuf7969Y8/USvKPTcx17I/AAAAAAAABfo/jzL6AKFK0PM/s320/D1month.jpg" width="244" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You look so much alike!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So anyways, while you are not anywhere near as good of a sleeper as your brother, you are on a pretty predictable schedule, which I adore. I know that at 6, 9, 12 (you get the picture) you are going to want to eat. Then you'll have about 1/2 hour to an hour of awake time. Then you'll sleep until you're ready to eat again. (This is all for the most part). I love that predictability, so thank you! It also means I can coordinate nap time with your brother.<br />
<br />
You, also like your brother, love to eat. I thought it was excessive that you were eating 4 ounces every 3 hours, but just read that Andrew did as well.<br />
At 2 weeks you weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces and were just over 21 inches long. (Andrew was 7 pounds 5 ounces and 20.5 inches)<br />
You, for the most part, have grown out of newborn clothes and are now wearing 0-3 months.<br />
<br />
You've already been on your first big road trip.. to Ohio to visit family. You handled it like a champ and I know everyone loved meeting you! Mama enjoyed all of the extra hands :)<br />
<br />
You gave me your first smiles last week (just before turning 4 weeks).<br />
You're lifting your head so well.<br />
<br />
You adore your brother more than anyone else, I think. You always turn towards his voice and you can easily be calmed down when he comes over and holds your hand and says, "it's okay baby Wes". I love the relationship the two of you already have!<br />
<br />
For the most part, you are such a content baby. You have your moments, or days, but you seem to be an "easy" baby just like your brother was.<br />
<br />
You've completed us sweet baby! I'm so glad that you are in our lives!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-88487374531230478402013-02-13T10:24:00.000-05:002013-02-13T10:24:55.900-05:00Hello? *tap tap tap* Is this thing on?I don't know if I'm quite ready to clear the dust on this ol' blog and get back to regular posting, but I found myself with the perfect opportunity to do a little writing this morning, so I thought I'd take advantage of it. Wes is taking a little cat nap (my goodness, that's all he does besides eat and poop). Andrew is extremely content playing on his own in his playroom. The floors are wet in the kitchen so I can't get to my laundry or breakfast. So, here we are!<br />
<br />
I feel like I am settling in to this mom of two thing. We're doing more than surviving as in I'm managing to not only keep both boys fed and clean, but also keep up with laundry, do grocery shopping (even if I do lose my keys in Walmart) and get dinner started at night. A shower is never guaranteed, so I'm still looking like a hot mess 95% of the time, but I'll get there. As long as we have this cute face to take the attention away from my appearance, it's all good for a while, right?<br />
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*sigh* I die. I do love my boys!<br />
<br />
I would love to be getting more sleep at night, but I guess that comes along with the whole newborn thing, huh? This too shall pass, plus I feel like my body is becoming adjusted to getting 4.5 hours of nonconsecutive sleep at night. There's always caffeine, right? <br />
I kicked the bucket on breastfeeding. Again. I don't know why I feel the need to declare that publicly, but there it is. We're okay with it. It was a beautiful, great thing for a few days, but things went downhill very fast. I won't get into the details, but it got ugly and we're all much happier now. So there's that.<br />
<br />
I'm healing up quite nicely. Barely notice any discomfort at all now and I'm READY ready ready to get into the gym. I have a 4-week checkup coming up and I hope to get the green light to do so!<br />
<br />
So that's about all the updates I've got. Trey is doing well. Staying busy and missing his family! No exciting news on him, but that's a good thing. Oh... there is exciting news on him! He's set to make Captain in March!! Yayyyy :) So proud of that man.<br />
<br />
Also, we have dear friends who just started their Army journey. He left Monday for 14 weeks of training for the National Guard. If you think of it, please say a prayer or two for him and his wife and two babies that are back at home waiting for him! I remember how hard it was during that initial training so they are on my heart constantly! Kthanks :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-72600104379389434482013-01-30T14:18:00.000-05:002013-01-30T14:18:06.025-05:00Wes' birth storySurprise! Someone made an early appearance!<br />
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He wasn't scheduled to come until tomorrow (the 31st), but it looks like he had other plans. I started to feel like something wasn't right on Thursday. I had no idea I was in labor, but I was really tired. My energy level dropped way down and I just didn't feel right. I didn't think much of it though, I was just 38 weeks pregnant.<br />
Fast forward to Friday. I felt better in the morning. Still sluggish, I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was lay down on the couch. I didn't want to get up for anything! I got some stuff done in the morning and then started feeling bad again. I called my SIL to talk about it. I had a nagging feeling, "I wonder if..." so we chatted about what I was feeling. My back hurt a little, I was kind of crampy and my stomach was tightening, but it kind of just felt like Wes was trying to stretch out. I was uncomfortable at worst and thought that it couldn't possibly be labor... that's supposed to be painful. Plus, everyone says you'll KNOW when you're in labor. Phsshhh... not always true!<br />
My mom got home from work around 5:15 and that's when I really started suspecting. I was noticing more of a pattern with the tightening. I told her what was going on and that I was thinking about going in to get checked. I was sure this wasn't it, but at least I'd be able to sleep better knowing for sure that nothing was going on. I took a bath to soak for a few minutes, took a shower, and straightened my hair... you know.. just in case!<br />
I started sending Trey emails just letting him know I was going in, but no need for alarm! I had no idea when he'd even get the messages. By the time we got to the hospital, I was glad we had left! Something was definitely happening. We walked up to Labor and Delivery and I let them know I wanted to be checked. They kind of looked at me like I was crazy and told me I was probably just feeling Braxton Hicks. They entertained me though, and hooked me up to the machines.<br />
About 10 minutes later, the nurse came back and said my contractions were 2 minutes apart. She was coming in to check me but they were going to go ahead and call the doctor because she didn't trust me one bit. Comes in, checks me, and surprise! 4cm dialated, 50% effaced. Because we had to do a c-section, she called the doc and told him to hurry it on up! <br />
30 minutes later, I was in the operating room (which, btw, was the scariest experience I've ever gone through... but easy and painless in the end) and prepping to meet my baby! I got all set up and as soon as my mom came in I started crying. This was it! Nothing like knowing someone is about to take a scalpel to your abdomen. What felt like 10 minutes later, it was over. They pulled my baby out and unfortunately, I didn't hear those sweet cries right away. My mom didn't even have time to cut the cord. They rushed him off because he couldn't breath. There was fluid trapped in his lungs that he couldn't pass. They took him off to special care and I was once again in the position of worrying about my baby.<br />
Fortunately, it was nowhere near as bad this time. He was born at 10:34pm and by 5am he was in my room with me!<br />
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Healthy as can be! Needless to say, we never had time to get Daddy on the phone or Skype. He missed the whole thing and found out the next day that his son was here. Can you even imagine that? I can't. I know it was hard on him.<br />
<br />
We spent 2 nights in the hospital.<br />
He weighed 8 pounds exactly and is 21 inches long.<br />
He's breastfeeding like a champ and I couldn't be any more thrilled with all that.<br />
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He's had tons of visitors and must feel pretty darn loved already.<br />
His big brother is just smitten with him. He spends the day asking if he can hold him, kissing him and "petting" him.<br />
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I'm so much in love with him! I spent so much time worrying how I could possibly love another baby. Everyone told me that you just do. Your heart grows. And it does. I already can't imagine life without him. He just fits with us. He completes our family and he couldn't fit any more perfectly.<br />
<br />
We love you, Wes! Welcome to our family :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-79517088167365875412013-01-17T13:21:00.001-05:002013-01-17T13:21:56.443-05:00AndrewClever title, right?<br />
<br />
I wanted to do a little post about our first baby before the 2nd one gets here - in.. ahem.. exactly 2 weeks! Things are moving so fast with him and I don't want to forget anything. Plus, if Daddy ever has time to check this little ol' blog, I'm sure he'd love the update :)<br />
<br />
He is all too inquisitive lately. Simple answers are no longer acceptable to his questions. It's a lot of fun ;)<br />
We just had to chat for about 5 minutes about why most school buses have stop signs but his toy bus does not have one.<br />
We also just got done washing his hands and we talked all about how the water comes OUT of the faucet and DOWN the drain. Big long conversation about that. But then he wanted to know what those little holes are on the side of the sink. I have no earthly idea why those are there, actually. But I'd better find out!<br />
We have talks like this is the car - (we were on our way to Trey's dad's work)<br />
A: Where's Grandad?<br />
Me: He's at work.<br />
A: Where's Grandad's work?<br />
Me: Just down the road a little big. We're on the way.<br />
A: Where's Grandad's truck?<br />
Me: It's at his work?<br />
*1 minute pause*<br />
Repeat conversation all over again. Twice.<br />
Me: Please stop asking me that over and over again. We'll see him in just a few minutes.<br />
A: Where's over and over again?<br />
Ahhhhhh.. LOL!<br />
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<br />
<br />
He's getting more and more independent. Perfect timing, right? Let the angels sing over that one for a minute.<br />
He plays on his own for longer periods of time. He's okay going to his playroom by himself (that was a battle for a while). He will go upstairs on his own if he wants to get something like his teddy bear or blankie.<br />
He wants to do more on his own, for sure. He sometimes doesn't want your help whatsoever. I'm seeing this a lot with hand washing, getting dressed and getting into the car. I'm hearing a lot more of "No, Andrew do it". Which for the most part is much appreciated, but he's really gotta get better with dressing himself. He's not capable, but wants to be. Can make for some frustrating mornings.<br />
He doesn't mind when I leave him for a bit anymore. As longs as it's not for bedtime apparently. That has always been our biggest battle. He wanted to be with me at all times and would NOT be pleased if I left him for even a few minutes. Now, he'll give me lovens and wave to me as I'm walking out the door. I won't lie.. that's nice! And it makes me even more excited to come home to him!<br />
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He's getting real smart and creative when it comes to going down for a nap. Where I used to be able to just give him a few minute warning, then we'd go up with no problem, now he knows what he can do to extend that just a little bit. Things like all of a sudden deciding he would like some milk, WANT to clean up his toys, or spend a few minutes saying goodnight to the dog and his toys. Really, your pickup truck needs hugs and kisses?<br />
<br />
He's so smart. He's known all of his letters and numbers for a while, but now he's putting sounds together with the letters. He'll sound words out and tell me what they start with. At first, it was only words that he was familiar with. Now he seems to be able to do it automatically.. except the tricky ones. We had pears with lunch today and while sitting at the table he said, "Pears starts with P mommy". It blows me away each and every time!<br />
He knows where all the letters are on the computer and knows the enter, space and backspace buttons.<br />
He'll count things and do it correctly.<br />
He's great with his opposites.<br />
I just hope that he always has a love for learning!<br />
<br />
I think he knows that his baby brother is coming soon. He's very interested in him all over again. And now he'll touch my belly and tell me he wants to feel baby Wes. Or he'll tell me he can't wait to share his cars with baby Wes. He'll excitedly talk in the car about how Wes will sit right next time him. Hopefully, that will keep up once the reality hits that this little person is in our lives to stay. Fingers crossed?!<br />
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<br />
He's doing better than I thought with Daddy being gone. He talks about him ALL. THE. TIME. But it's not in an angry or sad manner. Just matter of fact and lovingly. Like, "Daddy says, Alright big guy". Or, "when Daddy comes home we'll play outside/go to the park/play with trucks". Or, "Daddy is far away working, helping people". Stuff like that. And always with a smile on his face. I was so afraid that he was going to start acting out and get angry. He seems to be doing very well though. I pray that when Trey gets home, they will just fall seamlessly back into their relationship!<br />
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That's about all I can think of for now! Hopefully, I'll have lots of cute brother posts coming up soon :)<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-9197831139767139502013-01-13T09:13:00.000-05:002013-01-13T09:13:04.739-05:00Sunday MorningI don't usually get the urge to write on the weekend, but there is something peaceful and perfect about this morning and my fingers were itching to get to typing. There's nothing specific I want to talk about, I sometimes just get that urge. You know, right? I know I'm not the only one...<br />
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I'm surprised that I'm feeling this good this morning. All signs point to a crappy attitude. I should be a miserable wretch.<br />
<br />
I'm so sick of never hearing from Trey. I guess I shouldn't say never, but no matter how much I tried to prepare myself for this, I guess deep down, I still thought we'd be able to talk more. I hear from him, on average, twice a week. I never know when. I send email after email that is never responded to. Because when he does have the time to send a quick message or make a very quick call, there's not time. It's rushed and we're both in a frenzy to get as much in as we can. I feel like it's never a quality conversation. He's so busy.. so so busy.. so I don't hold it against him. He's working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. He's been sick since he's gotten there and is just now starting to feel better. So I know. I know it's hard for him and I know there are extenuating circumstances right now - that I really hope clear up fast! So I still hold out hope. I hope that once their big issue resolves itself that we can talk more. But this ish is hard. Harder than I ever imagined it would be. Because there's nothing that can prepare you for not being able to call your best friend to talk about all of life's little or big moments when you used to be able to call whenever you wanted. I all too often find myself picking up the phone, wanting to call him, then realizing there's nothing I can do about it. I just wait for my phone to ding with an email alert or ring with some strange unknown number. And nothing can prepare you for the worry that settles into your heart, for me, around day 2 of not hearing from him. Because while you know everything is probably okay and he is most likely perfectly safe, WHY HAVEN'T YOU HEARD FROM HIM?<br />
So - that's taking a toll on me, for sure. I know a lot of my friends can relate at the moment! One day at a time, right? And that reunion gets closer and closer day by day... no matter how far away it seems right now.<br />
<br />
Sheww... I didn't think that would be so long winded. I really just meant to type up a few sentences.<br />
<br />
Also, I'm constantly in a state of exhaustion. I spend the day thinking I'll go to sleep as soon as Andrew does. But he goes down and insomnia hits. I finally fall asleep somewhere between 11 and midnight, which is very late for me.. and wake up roughly 3 times a night.. never being able to just fall right back asleep.<br />
<br />
Then, Andrew woke up at 7 instead of 8. So I lost another hour.<br />
<br />
And you already know how uncomfortable I am, so I don't need to go on about that. I'm sure you can imagine.<br />
<br />
I don't mean to make this into a complain-fest. All that to say, for some unknown reason, I feel good this morning. I'm relaxed. And dare I say... happy?<br />
Yes, Andrew woke up early, but we used that time to snuggle in bed and watch cartoons. By snuggle I mean he was a wiggly mess and I get a few seconds here and there of cuddling, but it was still good.<br />
Now we're in the living room and everyone else is still asleep. I have my coffee and Andrew is playing with trains, pick-up trucks and police cars. It just seemed like the perfect time to write. Something about that first cup of coffee and a quiet morning. It screamed WRITE IN YOUR BLOG to me.<br />
<br />
I don't have anything at all planned for us today. I've been on the go too much for the past two days, so today we'll just rest. And play. And watch the Patriots. Happy Sunday everyone!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-58557094220817153412013-01-10T13:59:00.000-05:002013-01-10T13:59:41.109-05:0021 DaysWe have 21 days at most until baby Wes is here! That's crazy to me. I feel like my whole world is about to be rocked (and Andrew's) and I'm not sure how to feel about it.<br />
<br />
Honestly, there are A LOT of days where I think to myself... and sometimes say out loud... "what in God's name was I thinking??". What made us think this would be a good idea? I had a good thing going with that one child gig. But I do know that once he gets here I'll never look back. Right??<br />
<br />
No, really, for the most part, I'm ready!<br />
I'm ready physically, that's for sure! All I can say is THANK GOD my husband and I are in agreeance to never doing this again. I'm so uncomfortable. I can barely get around. That is a problem when you have a very active toddler! I'm excited to be able to do stuff with him (them) again. Well do more I guess, because I still have to do stuff with him. It's just not fun! I'm ready to get my body back and work on looking good for a certain someone to come home. At least I have a while to work on that.. I'll need the time! I'm ready to sleep on my belly again! That, my friends, is going to be glorious.<br />
<br />
I'm a little nervous about learning how to handle two kids. I'm worried about how Andrew will respond and figuring out how I'll split my time. I'm nervous about going out and getting stuff done with two, like grocery shopping, for instance. So I'm ready to just throw myself into all that. I can't wait to just do it.. get the the newness, awkwardness, and learning out of the way and let it become my new normal. I'm ready to kick this whole having two kids' thing ass.<br />
<br />
And really, I'm just so excited to meet our 2nd little boy. Another little human that is half myself and half Trey. I can't wait to love on him. To see what he looks like. I wonder if he'll look just like Andrew did or nothing like him at all? To see what his little personality will be like. I pray he's as easy as Andrew was, but I don't dare assume that I'm that lucky. I'm excited to see Andrew take on the roll of big brother. I'm pretty sure he'll do great!<br />
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Did I mention I'm ready to have my body back yet?<br />
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All I need to do is get my hair done, get one last prenatal massage in, a pedicure, get my hospital gown in and pack my bag!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-59990075198257418932013-01-02T13:20:00.000-05:002013-01-02T13:20:26.646-05:00One Word<a href="http://www.meandmysoldierman.com/2012/12/5-news-years-wishes.html" target="_blank">JG</a> tagged me the other day to talk about what was originally 5 Christmas wishes, which she turned into 5 goals for the new year, which I am just going to now loosely talk about a few thoughts I have for the new year. It may or may not end up having 5 points. We'll see.<br />
<br />
I didn't want to pick an extremely specific resolution this year. In my now almost 30 years in this world I have learned a few things... one of them being I will never keep a resolution. I'll be disappointed on and off throughout the year a little bit, but mostly, I'll forget that I even had a resolution in the first place.<br />
Last year I heard a lot about this one word thing. I noticed tons of blog posts where people were narrowing in on one thing they wanted to become or change in themselves. I was intrigued and looked a little more into it this year. One word seems doable. Especially since, for the most part, it's a character change and I can apply it to many facets of my life. But all I have to remember is one little word.<br />
<br />
So I thought long and hard (ie: a naptime) and came up with my word. I decided on - <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Intentional. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">There were some close runner-ups<span style="font-size: small;"> (present, kind, hea<span style="font-size: small;">lthy, thoughtful), but I thought I <span style="font-size: small;">could sum all of that up with Intentional. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">1) I want to be more intentional in my relationsh<span style="font-size: small;">ips<span style="font-size: small;">. I want<span style="font-size: small;"> to put more effort into them. My marr<span style="font-size: small;">iage, my child(ren), family and friends. I don't just want to coast through these relationships. I want the peop<span style="font-size: small;">le I care about to KNOW I care about them. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's most important with my husband right now with him being so <span style="font-size: small;">far away. I want to take the extra time and effort to let <span style="font-size: small;">him know how much I love him. I don't eve<span style="font-size: small;">r want him to dou<span style="font-size: small;">bt that while he is aw<span style="font-size: small;">ay... or any time. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">With my kids, that is a gimm<span style="font-size: small;">e. That's where the wor<span style="font-size: small;">d "present" kept coming in. When I'm with my kids I<span style="font-size: small;">'m going to be with my kids. That's pretty much 2<span style="font-size: small;">4/7<span style="font-size: small;">, so reasonabl<span style="font-size: small;">y I need </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>some downt<span style="font-size: small;">ime or personal time to myself, but there will be more <span style="font-size: small;">time focused on them. Living in the moment. Not being quite so distracted. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">With friends and family I want to be a lot more thoughtful<span style="font-size: small;"> and show more kindness. And more pres<span style="font-size: small;">ent I guess as well. I want to t<span style="font-size: small;">ake the time to let far away friends and family know how much I'm thinking about them. I'm always thinking of them and I miss the people I don't talk to on a <span style="font-size: small;">regular basis, but I don't always tak<span style="font-size: small;">e the time to let them <span style="font-size: small;">now. I want to change that. With local family/friends I want to be</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> more in tuned with what<span style="font-size: small;">s going on in their lives<span style="font-size: small;"> and be there for them more. I want to take the time to d<span style="font-size: small;">o thoughtful things when I can <span style="font-size: small;">and start speaking more of what is on my mind. </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">2) Intentional with my health. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">This baby is coming out of me in <span style="font-size: small;">29 days (but who's counting<span style="font-size: small;">?) and as far as I know, I can start working out roughly 6 weeks afte<span style="font-size: small;">r that<span style="font-size: small;">. I'm not one that enjoys working out or <span style="font-size: small;">watching my weight. I like the results, but <span style="font-size: small;">hate the process. Of course, I want to look good. <span style="font-size: small;">My h<span style="font-size: small;">usband coming home and seeing me for the first time in 9-10 months is some pretty h<span style="font-size: small;">efty motivation. But m<span style="font-size: small;">y main concern is feeling good. I want to have tons of energy<span style="font-size: small;"> and make healthier decisions. I despise the feeling of sloth during the end of pre<span style="font-size: small;">gnancy<span style="font-size: small;">, so I cannot wait to be able to walk from one <span style="font-size: small;">room to another or up the stairs without <span style="font-size: small;">having to catch my breath<span style="font-size: small;">. I really can't wait to play with my kids without it being a chore. To take good walks. To just love life again, really. I don't know <span style="font-size: small;">exactly how I'll go about this other than use common sen<span style="font-size: small;">se, but I do know I'll need something to keep myself accountable. <span style="font-size: small;">And I don't want to pay for WW again. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">3) Intentional about my faith. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alo<span style="font-size: small;">ng with being healthy, another time where I feel like my best self is when I'm activ<span style="font-size: small;">e<span style="font-size: small;">ly working on my faith. I need to turn to God more often. Find a church we love here to last us until Trey co<span style="font-size: small;">mes back. (This shouldn't be hard, other than my own anxiety about l<span style="font-size: small;">eaving Drew in <span style="font-size: small;">childcare<span style="font-size: small;">). I want<span style="font-size: small;"> to find a devotional to read <span style="font-size: small;">in every day... bonus points for something like Faith Deployed that would help me put this deployment into perspective. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think that sums it up! Very doable<span style="font-size: small;">, right? I just need to come <span style="font-size: small;">up with a plan, or a system, to keep all this stuff in mind during the year. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I don't think I'll tag any<span style="font-size: small;">one else since this is not what I <span style="font-size: small;">was supp<span style="font-size: small;">osed to do at all<span style="font-size: small;">!</span></span></span></span> </span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><b> </b><br />
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-88999007409120361072012-12-27T21:28:00.000-05:002012-12-27T21:28:54.179-05:00Day 5Day 5 - How hopeless does that sound? Especially since I don't know how many days we have. I won't dwell on how badly this sucks, how nothing could have prepared me for this (no matter how well I thought I was prepared), how it feels like I may have an ulcer by the end of it, or how many times a day I look at my phone checking to see if I somehow missed a call/email/fb message from him. No. I won't focus on any of that. <br />
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I'll let you know that we're hanging in there. We're both pretty settled at my parents house. I feel very much at home and I think it's safe to say Andrew does as well. He has a definite separation in his head about his and Mama's house and Daddy's house. I can't begin to guess what a 2-year old understands in this situation. He knows he is far away working and helping people, but I also think he still thinks Daddy is at our old house too.<br />
I've decided I have sensory issues since being here. My brother drives me crazy when he eats his ice cream 5 out of 7 nights a week. The slurping, spoon clanging and jaw cracking. They watch crazy movies like Cast Away... if I hear water sploshing around for one more second I'm going to jump from the roof. The dog and her licking/scratching. It's all just too much. But when the sounds get overwhelming, I can just go up to my room. It's nice to have my own little space in a house with all these noises.<br />
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Trey sent videos of himself reading to Andrew along with the books for us to follow along. We've gotten to listen to him read for the last two nights and it's been great. Andrew's a little confused, but for the most part it's such a great thing! The smile on his face is priceless while he's listening to him. He just thinks Trey can hear him talk back to him and I have to explain that he cannot. We'll get there though!<br />
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Christmas had it's tough moments, but overall was a great day. Andrew was so much fun this year. It was a little overwhelming for him, so we did have to take it slow. We didn't finish opening presents until almost bedtime! He now has way too many toys.<br />
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I'm so ready to be done with this pregnancy. I won't go into all the details, but we can just leave it at I'm extremely uncomfortable. I'm ready to meet this sweet boy. Yet another reason I'm thankful to be with my family! They are such a great help with Andrew!<br />
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So, to sum it up, because I feel like this is a jumbled mess, we're okay. I'd kill for more reliable communication. I would give anything for a broken up, horribly connected, 3 minute long conversation. I miss him like crazy. It feels like it will never end. But I'm busy. And Andrew keeps me smiling every day. And I'm enjoying living with my family.<br />
I'm going to set goals for myself once the baby gets here. I'll set big ones and smaller ones so I have something to help mark the time. I just have to come up with them :) It's fun putting together care packages, so that helps too!<br />
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I hope you all had a great Christmas! I hope to get back to more regular, positive blogging soon!!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-15906114751473654582012-12-12T14:38:00.000-05:002012-12-12T14:38:04.679-05:00Cuts Like a Knife (this is a doozy of a post)Hey civilians, want to know how crappy your health care will be once we move to a socialized medical world? Go visit an Army doctor.<br />
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While such a broad statement may not be completely fair, in my circumstances right now, I can say that. Let's get into my story of the day...<br />
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As we all know, I've moved away from Fort Bliss and am now living with my parents in a town that while it does have an Army post, it's just a training post and doesn't have the big amenities the larger places have. Basically, all that means is that I had to get a referral to see a civilian OB and get to deliver at a normal hospital.<br />
Today, I met with my new doctor for the first time and SERIOUSLY??? I didn't know what I was missing. I had no idea that the level of care that I received today even existed.<br />
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Here's what I'm used to...<br />
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5 minute long appointments that consist of this same dialog every. single. time.<br />
Nurse (N): Do you have a history of anxiety or depression? <br />
N: Do you have thoughts of killing or hurting yourself or others?<br />
N: Does your husband abuse you mentally or physically?<br />
Blah blah blah. You'll have to answer questions that should be clearly stated in your records every single time you go in there. <br />
Then they'll listen to the babies heartbeat and say, "sounds good". You'll have to ask what the heart rate was and she'll give you somewhat of a range... never an exact number.<br />
The doctor will come in and glance over your charts. She'll ask you if you have any concerns. Then she'll tell you when to come back and your donezo. Make sure you bring a list of questions because you won't remember them when they make you feel so rushed to get the hell out of their office.<br />
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Here's what I got today...<br />
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The lady at the front desk recognized me immediately. She knew exactly who I was even though I was in there only once... over a week ago.. for a total of 5 minutes tops.<br />
My mom and I walked back when we were called, thinking it was just the nurse, when in reality it was an angel from God telling me she was going to give me an Ultrasound! Just because! She spent so much time with us and even switched it over to 3D occasionally to let us really see him. Of course, he had his hand spread across his face, so we never did see any facial features, but that's not her fault.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4Ej3o-VIUg4/UMjbht8Fl-I/AAAAAAAABb4/Mslpc21VV-E/s1600/2012-12-12_13-05-19_768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4Ej3o-VIUg4/UMjbht8Fl-I/AAAAAAAABb4/Mslpc21VV-E/s320/2012-12-12_13-05-19_768.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet little ear and his arm covering his face</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Next, I had my vitals taken where.... get this... there was a urine sample collected. Do y'all know that I have never once had to pee in a cup while pregnant. I didn't even know that was a thing until a recent conversation with my SIL. When I asked my Army doc about it, she said they figured that was a good way to cut back on costs. Ohh... okay.<br />
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Then we met with my saint of a doctor, who probably took up a half hour of his day just talking with me. He cared about what was going on in my life, wanted to know where I came from before getting here. He actually really read those things called records and didn't need to ask me unnecessary questions. He saw that I had a horrific birth with Andrew and when he didn't get enough answers from said records, he put them down and told me to tell him all about it. Then gave me tissues while I cried in his office. Then, and most importantly, he was honest with me.<br />
He told me how likely the complications we had last time were to happen all over again. He told me he wouldn't be comfortable helping us with a natural birth and would, in fact, actually be scared for me and the baby.<br />
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He asked me how I would feel about scheduling a C-Section. (Hence the title). And not because he regularly pushes them or because he wants to fit me conveniently into his schedule. But because he took the time to go over our case and wants to help us do what is best of us. And because he saw how anxious I was over the same things happening with Wes. <br />
Our last hospital wasn't very forthcoming with information about Andrew's birth... I learn something new all the time. What I learned this time, from looking at the records I had to request, was that Andrew was stuck in the birth canal because his shoulder couldn't make it past my pubic bone (sorry I had to use the word pubic, but there was no way around it). And while they let him sit there and try to work it out on his own for an hour, I also had a pretty bad fever. I don't know that it'll ever truly sink in how close we were to losing him. I can't do that with this baby. It's technical term is Shoulder Dystocia and can be deadly for the baby. And if it happens once, it's likely to happen again.<br />
Why did no one tell me about this? And why was this hospital going to let me go through it all over again? Same place, same doctors. Really?<br />
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So, C-Section it is for me! We'll get it scheduled at my next appointment, but it looks like it'll be done January 31st. How weird will it be to know when my baby is coming?? I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. While a c-sec comes with it's own set of concerns, they are concerns for myself.. not my baby. And that?? The fact that I'm not worried about losing this baby anymore? Is worth it's weight in gold!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>I'd love any tips from any of y'all that have had c-sections! Any
recovery tips or even just what to expect before/during/after the procedure would be great!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b> </b></span>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-917212620557702461.post-49008188813125699242012-12-05T13:56:00.000-05:002012-12-05T14:03:33.236-05:00Settling InWell we've been in town for only 4 days and I have to say, I'm happy with where we are already. Everything has been going as smoothly as possible:<br />
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*Andrew and I are both registered with the hospital on post and have a family doctor assigned to us. <br />
*My referral for an OB has gone through.<br />
*I have an OB picked out and have my first appointment next week.<br />
*My brother got back into town with my van and all of our belongings! This made our move so much more real feeling. The fact that we're here for a long time is still trying to sink it's way into my brain. For the most part, it still feels like any other visit, but now that we have all of our stuff, it's much more real.<br />
*A lot of it is put away and organized. My clothes are all in the closet, Andrew's bed is put together and his toys and books are all in his playroom.<br />
*Andrew is figuring out that we're here to stay. He's not sadly asking me to go back to Andrew's house. If I ask him if this is his home, he'll say yes, and even say so on his own a few times a day. This started yesterday and let me tell you, that takes a lot of the break out of my heart! <br />
*I'm figuring out where the little things like cutting boards, strainers and baking pans go. This seems like a little thing, I'm sure, but it makes me feel more at home. You know how it is when you are visiting at someone else's house and you try to empty the dishwasher for them, but you don't know where anything goes? Yeah, I hate that. The more at home I'm getting, the more I feel like I can contribute.<br />
*I'm starting to put my feelers out there for any mom groups I can join. I'd like to join some sort of MOPS group... I think it would be a good move. I'll need stuff to keep me busy and things to look forward to.<br />
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As I suspected, the act of actually leaving Fort Bliss and Trey was a lot harder than being away. Does that make sense? We certainly miss Trey and our friends, but there is a lot going on here... well a lot of people here.. to keep us going. This part of it is harder on Trey. He's stuck in this limbo where Andrew and I aren't there, so there is no one to come home to, and he's just waiting to leave. I really think it'll be easier for him once he's actually over there.<br />
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So, that's about all we have going on for now. I'm looking forward to getting together with friends, doing a little shopping a crafting with my mom this weekend, and possibly going to see Lights at the Zoo. I think it's going to start getting a little chilly around here so I'm off to think of some Christmas crafts I can do with Andrew... we have to have some purpose to our day or they will drag out!<br />
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<!------------><!------------>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17385546024152781958noreply@blogger.com4