~ 13 Months ~

Holy Moly... do I have a toddler or what? I do. I do. I have a very.. ummm.. strong willed toddler. He is still as sweet as ever, but I think he just gets so frustrated. He wants to do so much on his own, but still needs me to help him out. I can see how that would be a little angering.. don't you? So we work through the tantrums and soak up the sweet moments even more so! Like when he crawls towards me, saying "maaama" every so sweetly, climbs in my lap and rests his head on my shoulder. Yeahhh... I'll take that all day!

Stats: He doesn't have another well baby appointment until 18 months, so unless we need to go to the doctor before than for any reason, I won't know his exact height and weight for a while.
He's wearing mostly all 18 months clothes. Definitely 18-month shirts, onesies and PJ's. Almost ready for 24 months for PJs. Can still get away with 12-month pants. The waist in everything is too big for him, so I've given up on that! Ha!

Words:
- Car (ca)
- Dog (daw)
- Outside (ou-taaaa)
- Dada and sometimes daddddy
- Maaama
Yes... those have been his first words. In that order. Don't worry.. I know where I stand anyways :)
He's been saying Dada for quite a while now, but now he actually associates the word with Trey.

Food: Ummm... everything? There is nothing he won't eat! Except he wouldn't eat spaghetti the other night. That could have just been coincidence though. (For those that have children that are a little older and are picky eaters.... were they ever like Andrew is? I'm afraid to be too confident in his eating now if he's guaranteed to go through the picky stage later.)
He especially loves vegetables.. I know.. I know.. I don't know where it comes from. If I put every food group on his high chair tray.. I promise you he will go for the veggies first. No, I'm not complaining :) Still just drinking whole milk and water. Not at the same time of course.

Naps: Up until Monday, he was still taking 2 naps a day. He was in the process of moving them between a half hour or an hour later in the day, but he was still taking them. The morning nap was lasting and hour and 1/2. Either the same for the afternoon nap or as long as 2 hours. Since Monday... not the same story. He's refusing his morning nap. He will scream and scream and scream some more until I go and get him. So we've moved his afternoon nap up a bit and we'll see how that goes! Unfortunately for me, that nap isn't lasting any longer.

Firsts:
-Playing Patty Cake
-Clapping
- Making that indian noise by hitting his mouth with his hand.
- Saying Mama and Dada and associating it with us.
- Shaking and nodding his head. Especially while dancing. Kids got some moves.
- Plays Peek-a-boo. By either pulling his blanket over his head or crouching down behind the ottoman.

He still isn't walking yet, but is cruising along furniture much more and much faster. He's walking a little more while holding onto his car too.
He's getting a little attached to his blanket. He's never had a security item before so that was a little out of the blue for me.
He's getting really good at being able to tell me what he wants. Pointing at things. Saying "CAA" in an incredibly needy and urgent tone if his car goes under the couch, the entertainment center or in the pantry. And you know.. good old-fashioned meltdowns. We've just started to teach him Sign Language. Hopefully that works out.
He loves to make towers out of two or three of his blocks at a time. He loves even more so to knock them down.
Cars is still his favorite movie and is a magical lifesaver in a pinch. Or for babysitters :)
He's all of a sudden terrified of dogs when he's always loved them. Normal? He still likes them from afar. On TV, in books or from far away. Not so much when they get close to him though.
He still loves reading his books together, but he's got a little too confident with turning the pages. He rarely gives me the time to finish reading what's on the page.. silly boy!
Your Daddy suggested that you go to CDC (daycare) a little more often because you are slightly attached to me. You do not like to be away from me. So, I bring you in twice a week, only for an hour and 1/2 and things are getting better. Plus, you are in watch care for a few hours every Wednesday morning so I can go to PWOC. I don't always like to drop you off, but I know it's good for the both of us. It does warm my heart to sneak up on you when I pick you up and watch you for a little bit. It's usually nap time when I do come to get you, but you're never sleeping. One time you were even trying to wake up the other kids by banging on their little cots... haha! You're going to be THAT child, aren't you??
He loves his independent play. Which I know is a good thing. But sometimes he's already pushing me away when he just wants to play by himself. LOL.. he'll literally pick up his toy that he is playing with and go to another room if I try to play with him when he doesn't want me to.
This kid cracks me up!

13 Months

Because in reality, that's what a lot of our day looks like lately!

Andrew, we love you so very much! Even when you look like you do in the picture above ;)
You make my heart explode with love and you make your Daddy more proud than he ever thought possible. I can't imagine my life existing without you!

Weekend in Review

I had a REALLY busy weekend.. compared to my normal weekends. Busy. (side note: I accidentally wrote Busty and then laughed incessantly). Very busy. But in a really good way. A few days in a row that really filled up my cup.

Friday night, Trey and I had our friends, Nancy and Bryan, babysit Andrew so we could go out to dinner with Jennifer and Fritz. You've heard me mention them quite a few times (Jenn is the one I went to high school with.. and now we live in Texas together). F is deploying.. umm.. very soon and we wanted to get one last night out with them before he leaves... and since Trey can't be available this week.. Friday night it was it. It was bittersweet. We went to Cattleman's Steakhouse.

both pics found on Google Images

Which is beyond amazing. This coming from a girl who could live without steak for the rest of her life and really not feel like I'm missing out on a thing. (I've been telling people that this place was featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, but apparently that's the one in Oklahoma City. I'm not sure if they're the same thing. If not, this one needs to be on the show too. For reals). We had a great time with them (even walking through the stinky petting zoo in heels afterwards where Jenn and I came very close to revisiting the food we just ate), but it was hard to put the reason we were eating together that particular night out of my head. I can't imagine how she feels (or any of the other number of women who's husbands are leaving) if I've been worrying over it this much. I know she will thrive while he is away though.. she's an OUTSTANDING person :)

Another good friend of mine, Ashley, had her baby boy Friday afternoon. I was able to go to the hospital and visit Saturday morning and ohhhh myyy... he is precious! He's just perfect. I don't feel comfortable sharing pictures of other people's babies, so you'll just have to take my word on this one. Perfection wrapped up in a tiny 6 pound 12 ounce body.
Ever since I gave birth to Andrew, I've become super sensitive to others having babies. You can't understand the true miracle of it all until you've had a child yourself, I don't think. I know I never did. I had NO comprehension at all for the amount of love you experience. None. And now.. I do. And I want everyone to experience it. And to see that new understanding in the eyes and written all over their expressions.. it does this girls' heart good.

We then spent the day at JG and her husband's house watching football all day on Saturday. Minus Andrew's new found extreme fright of dogs (WTH... seriously.. the kid has always loved dogs. Loved them. It was his second word. All of a sudden... he clings to me like a koala bear around a tree when they are around. What up with that??) we had a great time! Especially when JG made Pioneer Woman's fried chicken. Slurp.. excuse me while I salivate at the memory of it. Best fried chicken (that was mostly baked) in the entire world. Yes.. including Chick-fil-a. Wowzers. Bama won.. good for us. OU won.. good for them. Too bad the Pats couldn't keep it rolling on Sunday.

Sunday morning, Fancy Nancy and I got out of the house super early and decorated the *mostly* outside of the new parents' house. We were so incredibly excited. It looked pretty darn good if I do say so myself. I hope they enjoyed it all! I also hope it's not too hard to take down!

So yeah... friends + babies + good food + football = a pretty awesome weekend!

Silent Sunday

In an effort to take more creative pictures (you know.. other than pics of Andrew. Inside. Playing with cars.) and to also do more outdoorsy things with him, I'll use a lazy Sunday post to put up my favorite pictures from the week. Plus, it'll make my mum happy.... This week I have two that I couldn't choose between :)

At the park, down the street from our house.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Foodie Friday

One of my goals in my quest to better myself for my family, is to try a new recipe once a week.

I became obsessed with the Crockpot Girls website recently, so I've tried quite a few actually. The one I was planning to post today was a Chicken Pesto Pasta that I found here. Butt... surprisingly, we didn't so much like it. I think it was just the brand of pesto I used though? I'm not quite sure, because I usually love this meal. This one had a funny aftertaste.

So, instead, I'll share the roast I did on Sunday (from Crockpot Girls). Trey said it was the best roast he's ever had. That is saying something!!

To Die For Roast

1 (4-5 lbs) beef roast, any kind (we used a Chuck roast)

1 package brown gravy mix, dry
1 package Italian salad dressing mix, dry
1 package ranch dressing mix, dry
1/2 C water

*Place beef roast in crock pot
*Mix the dried mixes together and sprinkle over the roast
*Pour the water around the roast
*Cook on low for 7-9 hours

We'll definitely make this one again :)

Officially Fall... almost

Tomorrow marks the first official day of fall and I've finished my Fall Bucket List just in time!

When Katie first posted hers for all of us to not only oooooh and ahhhhhh over, but actually print it out as well, I was straight giddy. A Fall themed decoration that serves a purpose... bonus! I could hug her through the computer for giving me the adorable idea.

When I clicked on the link to print it out, I thought I'd be able to change the "to-do" items. You know.. make it my own without having to do any of the work? Not so much. Seems I was going to have to dig out my old computer skillz.

I love your ideas, Katie. I do. From the looks of it, you're going to have a few months worth of awesome family fun. But... I live in the desert. Beautiful, crunchy leaf piles? Not gonna happen for us. And while I love pies, I've only attempted to make one and it wasn't very fun for me. I'll leave that one alone too. So you see... I just needed to make my own list. But I'm ever so grateful for her posting her creativeness for the world to see so I can copy it :)

I also have no free printable to post like she did. Not because I'm not super nice like that... I.. umm.. don't know how to do that. If anyone does know how and is that interested, feel free to leave me directions. I don't mind sharing.

I can, however, show you what I did with mine. I have my dry erase marker ready for checking off all the fun things we have planned! Ta-daaaa -

That's a big picture. Good thing I just dusted!

PWOC

How many of my military spouse readers take part in your PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) on post? If you don't know what I'm talking about, or you just haven't quite gotten around to trying it out yet, I strongly suggest you do.

For those that don't have any idea of what PWOC is, here is a link that can tell you all about it. It's a chance to have some fellowship once a week with other Christian military wives. We socialize, eat and drink coffee, do some worship, and break into smaller groups for different Bible studies. If you're into that sort of thing, please go and check your local group out. Fort Bliss's group means the world to me and I can feel the changes it's making in me.

My faith is always something I have struggled on and off with. There have been times where I so strongly believed in everything the Bible says, but other times, when I was filled with doubt. I had too many questions. The devil has worked wonders in my life and I'd have to say, has taken precedence more times than he should have been able to.
Over the past year, my strength has been unshakable. God's done some awesome things in my life lately and I've finally been able to just let go of any doubt I had. Now, my faith in God and His word is something I can't imagine doubting or questioning. But that doesn't mean I don't still struggle. I have so much to learn. I have stories to learn in the Bible that have been ingrained in most people's minds their whole lives. I want to have scriptures memorized and have them get myself or others through tough times. Or use them to praise God in the good times. I need to be able to live His words out more in day to day life. I could go on and on, but I see myself getting very side tracked here. I attribute these changes that I've seen in myself to going to PWOC. Well, to God of course, but He put me here.. at this post.. with this group.

When I started going to PWOC last year, I wasn't very committed. I would go here and there, but if something else came up, I had no problem skipping it. Now, it's probably my absolute favorite morning of the week. We get so busy during the week with day-to-day activities. With household chores and taking care of our babies. Things can get so.. routine. And busy. Wednesday mornings, my soul has a chance to regroup. It means SO MUCH to me that my baby is taken care of while I recharge. While I spend the morning in prayer, praising God, and focusing on the things that really matter. To quite myself. To remind myself that no matter what is going on in our lives this week, not only is God looking out for us, loving us and standing by our side... so are about 150 other women. There is something so powerful about hearing all of those women singing together. Praying together. Lifting each other up in hard times, like deployments (imagine going through a deployment....not alone but with this huge group of unfailing support.. wow!) and celebrating the good times.
It's hard for me to stop in the midst of our daily craziness to appreciate what God has given me and my family. To remember to go to Him with my problems... because He's right there waiting. So not only does PWOC refresh my mind and soul and remind me of these things, but the study that I've gotten into this year provides me with a little bit of quite time each day (yes, I have to physically schedule it into my daily organizer, but it does get done and that's what matters) to redirect myself as well.
There were so many wonderful choices.. two others that I wanted to do (Power of a Praying Wife and Shepherding a Child's Heart), but in the end, felt powerfully led to do Hope for the Homefront. I'm so glad I chose that one. The others would be great to read on my own time anyways, but this is great for me right now. We've been focusing on fear so far (which I struggle with A LOT) and how instead of letting it cripple us, we need to trust in God's word more. I love the way it flows. How it makes me think without spelling things out completely. It's pretty awesome. I've heard from multiple others that have read it and loved it as well! (Just came to me.. but I could possibly see a give away coming up when we're through with it!)

So..that's all. I just felt overwhelmed with these feelings of gratitude towards this group today and wanted to share. From those that have known me the longest, this post may catch you off guard a little. I've never been very open with my faith. I'm not sure why. It's always made me feel a little awkward talking about it, but I know it shouldn't be that way. I'm a little uneasy with even putting something as personal as this out, but I shouldn't be. I should be anxious (in a good way) to hit that publish button. Ready to share my faith with anyone who may benefit from hearing about it. I know that's what we're supposed to do. I'm working on fixing that... just another area I need to grow in.

The day Andrew turned ONE

I didn't think I'd ever get around to posting about Andrew's birthday party!

We had so much fun! We did a Dr. Seuss theme (because I love Dr. Seuss and at this point, I can still control things like birthday themes) and I got LOTS of good ideas from other blogs and online in general. While I did the majority of these decorations myself, the ideas mostly came from quite a few months of Google searching!
Andrew had 20-something of our his closest friends over. We chatted, ate, did presents, and soaked up the cuteness of a special little one year old! I let the pictures do the talking. This will be a heavy picture post :)

The birthday boy:

The decorations:

The Cake Smashing (kind of):

Much to my surprise, he did too much enjoy the taste of cake. Not a sweet lover I guess. He does enjoy playing with frosting, though.

The love:

This is Jennifer. She made Andrew's outfit and her cake. So yeah.. she's awesome!

The Great Pumpkin Post

Happy Monday! I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Ours was just so-so. Lots of time spent around the house since Trey had staff duty. I hate when he has that over the weekend! I'm feeling good and positive this morning though, so let's not go down that path. Moving on!

As most of you know, Autumn is my favorite time of year. I'm borderline obsessive. It makes me giddy. Summertime sucks the life right out of me.. I know, I know.. very un-American of me.. but it's true. I'm not a fan of Summer. So fall.. it brings me back to life. That being said, I'm sure you find it strange that I've never cared for any pumpkin flavored treats. (No? You don't find it strange and don't particularly even care for that matter? If you love me.. bear.. beer?.. bare?? with me and keep reading anyways. I need suggestions at the end.)
But I also lived in New England until I was 13 and don't like ANY seafood. And spent the next 13 years in South Carolina and don't like grits. So, obviously, I'm a go-against-the-grain kinda girl.

So.. there's been no pumpkin bread, pies, pudding or cookies in my life. Until a few months ago. Then Nancy Galas (see.. that's two mentions of you on my blog now. You need to make one yourself so I can link to you when I mention your name and the world can see how fabulous you are) and her cookies walk into my life. Nancy makes pumpkin cookies from scratch. I don't know what possessed me to try them.. you know.. since I don't like pumpkin.. why would I like pumpkin cookies?? But I did. And I proceeded to eat 20 more in one sitting.   I had one or two that night, and seriously, they are the melt in your mouth goodness that everyone was raving about. Okay... maybe there is something to this pumpkin thing.
Fast forward a few months further. I'm gallivanting around El Paso with JG, ( I know... jealous??) and of course, we can't resist the urgent calling for Starbucks. She orders a Pumpkin Spice Frappacino (hello.. I didn't know they made a frap in that flavor!) and I'm intrigued. Not quite enough to go out on a limb and order my own. But enough to take a little sippsies of hers. I've had two since then. And this outing was just 4 days ago...

Here's where you come in. I've only gained 5 pounds in the last 2 months, so obvi, I need to gain more.. ugghhhh!! Kidding. I really need to lose it plus another 20 but that's not what we're focusing on today. I'm working on a fun, decorative fall bucket list, a la Katie, (yes, you can see it when it's done) and one thing I want to do is make a new recipe using pumpkin. Please note.. I didn't say it had to be fresh pumpkin. It's perfectly okay to use it out of the can, right? I mean.. we don't all have to be Nancy Galas's in this world.. right??
So what should I make? Give me your best pumpkin recipe. Ready.. set... go!

Smoothie goodness

For about a month now, I've been on a smoothie kick. I bought a ton of frozen fruit. Had a smoothie loving genius website bookmarked. Found one in particular that is just about the best thing I've ever tasted. Which includes no frozen fruit. And I've made it just about every morning since. Intrigued? I kind of made it my own and  this morning, I feel I should share it with you.

You will need...
1 Cup milk (I choose to use Smart Balance Fat-Free milk)
3 small spoonfulls of Light Vanilla Yogurt
2 Tbsp of reduced-fat cream Peanut Butter
2 Tbsp of any kind of chocolate poweder mix (I've been using Nesquick, but that's just because my Carnation ran out and I'm using what I have before I buy more)
1 whole banana, sliced
Some crushed ice.. I have no idea how much I use. I don't measure that.

Blend and enjoy! If you try it, let me know what you think.



Side note:
As I was up browsing the Internet from 11:30 to 1:15 in the morning last night (not feeling too hot and Trey had a PT test this morning. I couldn't go back to sleep and didn't want to keep him up!), I saw a post that brought something about my last post to my attention. This girl definitely got the wrong idea, so in case there was more misconception out there, I thought I'd clear a little up.
My quest to become a better wife is my decision. My husband has never made me feel the need to do this. I want to. And that does not, in any shape of form, make me feel like I am a second class citizen behind him. I'm no less of a woman because I'm a stay at home wife and mom. I have a complete understanding of my worth.
I'm under no impression that I am going emulate the Proverbs 31 woman completely. I will not be making clothing for my family nor will I be rising before the sun comes out every day to fix him breakfast before he heads out. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with women that can do that. If I can learn to sew a button, that would be wonderful! Will I continue to bring my husband a cup of coffee on the weekend with his breakfast... at a decent hour? Sure will. And not because he requires it of me. Because I want to. I love to do things like that for him. And he's not grunting in his recliner and slapping me on the ass as I do so. He's full of appreciation. And will probably turn around over the weekend and mop all of our hardwoods and catch up on the laundry that I got too busy to finish.
This is about bettering myself. About being more organized and more effeciant. It's about making sure my husband knows that I'm his number one fan. And that, my friends, sure does NOT make me any less of a woman.

The wife I want to be

Proverbs 31
10-31 A good woman is hard to find,

and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

Wow.. did you read all that? That's a lot to live up to, right?!?

About two weeks ago, Sara Horn, who writes, My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife, came to our kick-off day of PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel). She was an awesome speaker. She opened right up and made you feel like you've known her all your life. She is a military wife herself, and shared some of her experiences that led her to write this book. I could go on and on about her and what she said, but then this post would be much longer than it already is going to be... so let's get more to the point!

My friend Ashley, who was with me, won Sara's book and I wasted no time in demanding that she hand it over to me as soon as she was done. Mistake numero uno. Who would have guessed that she'd finish it in like 3 days? Not I. Mistake numero dos. Of course, with her raving about it, I couldn't wait to start it. And of course I'm sucked in. And now, of course, I'm on the mission to become a better wife.

I may get some rolling of the eyes with this one, but I'm going to put it all out there anyways. My blog, right?
I've been trying for two weeks now..scratch that.. I've been fighting with myself in my head for two weeks now... about how I'm going to go about this. I've been actually trying for two days. Yes, I want to be a better wife, and mother on that note. Yes, I want to make better use of my time. But how? Where am I going to find more time in the day? Where's all of that energy needed going to come from. Can I really do everything without complaining? What if he doesn't notice? I'm supposed to just keep picking up after everyone with no thanks? What if I fail?

I have a lot to work on. I need to develop A LOT more patience. My husband is a wonderful man and I love him with everything I've got, but my heavens he can infuriate me! I'm signing up to "never be spiteful and treat him generously all my life long". That, my friends, is a long time... hopefully. I'm just now developing a crafty side, but I sure am not about to be knitting and sewing. I mean.. I think I can learn to sew a button on. My husband knows how.. maybe he can teach me. "Up before down, preparing breakfast"??? Seriously? Does the coffee maker even work before dawn? " She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day." Yes, I understand that keeping up house and home is important.. and I like to have a clean house. Clean clothes are kind of important too. As is dinner being made every night. But, no hurry to call it quits? I can't call it quits soon enough! There's more.. read it for yourself. Something like making my own clothing, my clothes always being elegant, and always saying kind things and having a smile on my face.

Gosh.. is this woman perfect, or what? Do I think I can do ALL of this? No. Not a chance. But I can be a better wife than I have been, that's for sure. I guess that's my point in all of this jumbled mess. My husband works hard for us.. for me to be able to stay home and raise our son. He's up and out the door way before the sun is even thinking about coming up. He shouldn't have to come home and do any work around the house after that (IMO). It's not JUST for him, though. He never, ever complains about anything. He thinks I'm pretty amazing just the way I am. But, it's also for me. Having my house in disarray stresses me out to.the.max. I hate to see clutter. I hate to see crap all over the place when it shouldn't be there. I hate to see laundry pile up and I hate even more so to have to do multiple loads at a time. I LOVE organization. I love to feel put together. I love to have good meals planned and cooked to feed my boys. I love to feel like I have a purpose. And for now.. this IS my purpose. To take care of my family.

So, how am I going to make this work? What is my plan?
First and foremost, I had to admit something to myself that embarrassed me. I'm pretty positive that there are a lot of others who can say the same. I had to cut out A LOT of internet time. I can be fairly certain when I say I have an addiction to the internet. To Facebook more specifically. I'm not sure why other than, on some days, it's my only form of communication with an adult. I'm sure it runs much deeper than that, though, but the why isn't important here. Maybe we can delve into that at a later time. Maybe.
I'm forcing myself to shut down the computer more often. I'm making a weekly list of things I want/need to get done and I will not go to bed before it's all done. I'm realistic. It's not like I'm not giving myself a moment to breath. I'm just more disciplined. I WILL get everything done. I'm making a very detailed planner with my friend Jaci later on this week and I'm sure that will be a big help. The main motivator will be pretty new pens.
I'm making a conscience effort to be nicer to Trey. It's not like I'm evil to him as it is, but I'm going to make an effort to bring him up more. To hold my tongue when I want to lay into him. To compliment him more. To trust his instincts more. To let him lead the way without doubting him. To stop nagging. To stop complaining when I have to put his dish in the dishwasher or his coke can in the recycling bin... again. I'm very strong willed and stubborn... so this is going to be harder for me than it sounds.
I want to be more creative with dinner plans. Try different, more nutritious meals.
I want to interactively play with my son more. I feel like I already do a good enough job with this. But, I want to better than "good enough". Now that the weather is cooling off, I want to take him outside more. I don't want to turn him down so much when he points to the door and says, "utahh" (outside). I'll go out with him more and play in rocks and dirt. Take him to the park more and for more walks. Sit and play with his new ABC puzzle. Read more.

I think that is a good starting point. Will I change overnight? No way. Will I need to call a friend to vent at times? Most definitely. Will I get the praise I'm looking for? Probably not at first. Will this improve my marriage? I'm very confident that over time, it will. I'm confident in the fact that this will pay off. That Trey will notice the effort I'm making and start trying harder himself. My main goal isn't to get anything from him in return, but it wouldn't hurt. That would just improve things even more so. But I have to start with myself.

So there you have it. A plan to improve myself and my marriage out there for the world to see. Thoughts? Ideas? Has anyone read this book? I'd love to know!

10 Years

I wasn't planning on writing anything. Not because I feel this day isn't worth the time to write or it's not important enough, but because I just plain don't have the words to express what I'm feeling inside. So this won't be long. It may not be beautiful or eloquent. And I guarantee it won't adequately express how I really feel inside. But I have to attempt.

As I sit here, watching the memorial coverage. Relearning the mass numbers of people that lost their lives. 343 firefighters. Over 3,000 children lost a parent. Let that soak in for a moment. 40% of people will never have any kind of physical proof that their loved one actually passed. I can't imagine that. How do you get past the tiny shred of hope that your family member will walk through the door one day?
I've shed so many tears this morning already, hearing the names being called out. Seeing the family members walk through the memorial for the first time. Hearing the young man speak that lost his father.. his father that never was able to teach him how to drive, see him off on his first date, or watch him graduate college. Seeing the 10 year old children rub their parents name on the memorial who will never KNOW their parents. There is so much more...

My heart is filled with honor and respect towards all of the people who ran towards that chaotic scene when everyone else was running.. literally.. for their lives. That takes a special heart. Courage that I'm not sure I could ever possess. God bless them. And our troops! The men and woman who saw this day unfold and then joined the Military, purely for the fact that they wanted to do something. Knowing what it would bring into their lives. That it could take their lives. They did it anyways.. knowing they could pay the ultimate sacrifice.

I'm filled with all of this emotion this morning and am desperately trying to hold on to every single detail and feeling, because I never want to forget, and I watch my son, so innocently crawling around the room, while his mother and father shed tears... he is smiling, playing and laughing... how am I going to teach him about all of this? How do I make sure he really KNOWS what happened that day? Will he ever truly understand?  I want him to understand why his Daddy does what he does. Why he can't always be home with him. But, seeing how innocent he is right now, I can't say that I look forward to the day that I have to explain to him that people aren't always good. That there are people out there who would like nothing more than to bring as much hurt as possible to all of us. 

I'm not really sure how to wrap this up. I've literally been staring at this line for about 5 minutes. I just heard a quote from Bush (God, I miss him) where he mentioned that with the first plane he thought it had been some kind of mistake, with the second plane he knew it was an act of terror and with the attack on the Pentagon, he saw it as an act of war. We've been at this war for so long now and people are tired. We want our family members home. We're tired of loosing people. But, this day reminds us of what these soldiers are fighting so hard for. That some gave the ultimate sacrifice for something that mattered. They are the definition of hero and their fight and struggle wasn't in vain.

I, for sure, will never forget. I won't let myself. Today, especially, I will keep everyone who has lost someone on that fateful day and every day since then in my prayers. I will carry them in my heart today. I wish I could take just an ounce of their pain away. I hope they know that they have an entire county (and I'm sure even more) praying for them, thinking about them, and sharing in their pain.

Mummy Post

I'm just gonna sit here this morning and gush and boast about my baby. Because I can. Because I don't do it often enough. Because he's hit mama in the face about 20 times since last night and I need to focus on the positives. Because who wouldn't want to sit here for the next 5..10.. minutes (depending on how slow of a reader you are. Also depending on how long my fingers let me type) and read about Andrew??

We seriously hit the jackpot when it comes to baybays. I could have been given a hellion.. I'm not sure what we did in life to deserve this boy. I wonder if all parents think like that no matter what temperament their child has. If Andrew was a horrible sleeper, didn't want to eat anything I put in front of his face, and cried all day long, would I still be thanking my lucky stars? Probably.

I'm sure I would. First of all. He has the cutest face I've ever laid my eyes on. For real. Look at it.

Even when he's sleepy. If fact, I'd argue it got even more adorable.

And homeboy can rock a mohawk.

Aside from be aesthetically pleasing, he's a pretty darn entertaining and such a sweet kid as well. We got the whole package with this one. Need examples? My pleasure!

The day after we came back from Ohio, he broke out with this pretty high fever. It reached up to 103.2 briefly and even at that high of a temp? He was a gem. In fact, he just got sweeter. He would still plaster a smile on his face. Still say "Ca" (read: car) over and over again while driving them around the house. And up the walls. Still looked at us like we hung the moon.

He's doing this sweet thing now where he carries his blankie with him when he gets up from sleeping. It gets left on the living room floor, so it's not like he has to drag it everywhere ala Charlie Brown, thank goodness, but he likes to have it in the general area. Occasionally throughout the day, he'll lay his head down on it, look at me and smile, and wait for me to croon "awww awww baby" at him. Love.

Naps and bedtime have gotten so easy. Seriously, new moms, start them on a routine (and do the same thing for naps and actual bedtime) and let them fall asleep on their own ASAP. It WILL pay off. He loves to go to bed. I bring him up and have always sung You are my Sunshine to him. Now, I can't even get all the way through the song before he is flinging his body back towards the crib and smiles when I put his blanket over him. Most of the time.. not a peep and he is out.

He hugs his stuffed animals and kisses his books all day.

He's definitely associated the word "dada" with his actual father and not the fan, window, or book. He even looks at me and says "baba". I know.. I know.. not the clear Mama I was looking for. But it's cute and I'll be his baba if he wants me to be.

His laughter while clapping is infectious.

While he's standing up, holding on to something.. if you start chanting "dance dance dance", he will happily oblige with a big grin. It's too funny.

I swear he is starting to sing with the songs on the radio. Of course, it just comes out as, "bllahhh goblah blahhhh, ludahludel ludelllll", but he has a certain pitch there that lets me know he's singing along.

He's playing a little bit of peekaboo on his own. And also trying to do the whole indian noise thing with his hand and mouth by himself. He can thank Auntie Vicky for that.

I'm just in love and it continues to amaze me every day how much more room I have in my heart than I thought I did. How in the world am I ever going to love the next one as much as him? My hearts going to grow out of my body if it finds as much space for him (yes, we're going to have another boy. Duh.)

While I sit and think more gushy thoughts over the little Drewsky, feel free to leave tips on getting him to stop bitch slapping his dear mother... other than a firm "NO" because apparently that is hilarious to a 1 year old.

Let's catch up, shall we?

Look at this new blogger website setup. They claim it's faster and cleaner. We shall see!

It's been a while since I've sat down to type and I really don't know where or how to even begin. You know what that means.. bullets!

- We just got back from a weekend in Ohio for my cousin Kristine's wedding. We had such a great time for multiple reasons. Of course it was awesome to be around my parents, brothers and Vicky (my future SIL ;)  ) I loved hanging out with them and seeing them spend time with Andrew. On top of that, the wedding was perfectly planned. It was beyond gorgeous, everything went smoothly (as far as we could tell), and tons of fun. But most of all, I loved reconnecting with my dad's side of the family.
It's been far too long since I've seen all of them. Life got in the way. Priorities weren't where they should have been. I was honestly a little nervous because within the past year, words where exchanged that shouldn't have been. But then we got there. None of that mattered... the time past or the harsh words. I was taken back to the age of 10 all over again and it was like time stood still. In short, I'm so thankful we went. I left with a rekindled, genuine attachment to my family and have vowed to not let this happen again. I didn't realize how much I've missed them. I'm still tearing up when I think about them. Trey loved them and was really impressed with the area. Seeing my Grandmother with my son was the ultimate highlight. I hope we got enough good pictures. To sum up what was supposed to be a short snippet.. this long weekend trip was good for the soul.

- When we got back, we realized that the weather has broken around here. The unbearable heat is finally gone and I hope gone until next summer. It inspired me to turn the air off and open the windows (at least until around 1pm.. baby steps), do a little fall cleaning, take out the fall decor, and paint my nails grey. It's my favorite time of year, y'all.

-  I'm not quite sure what's up, but Drew has a temperature of 102.2 last I checked. I noticed today that he felt really warm. He's been just a tad extra clingy and whiny, but I chalked that up to the traveling and all the attention he got over the weekend that he is not longer receiving. It's been as high as 102.5. He's still eating more than enough. Everything I've read though has said to not call the doctor until it gets to 103. I know we are not far from it, but with him acting normal for the most part, I feel comfortable waiting it out. Germs from the plane? Teething? Just a plain ol' cold? Who knows.

-  I REALLY need to jump right back on the WW train. It's been slacking. Well, non-existent is the more accurate term to use. After seeing yet even more friends doing it with success and all the calories that were consumed over the weekend (I haven't stepped on the scale, but I can tell a difference in my clothes), something's gotta give. My discipline!! Where did it go??

- A good friend is going to be leaving me soon. "A good friend" doesn't really do our friendship justice. We've been friends since high school and it just so happened that our husbands were stationed at the same post. How's that for a situation to strengthen an already existent bond?? My stomach already knots up when I think about her leaving, but mostly I'm in denial. It's not going to be good when reality hits me like a brick. I have to switch subjects now.

- Something to lighten the mood... GO.
We'll have lots of visitors over the next few months, thank God. I LOVE having people come to stay with us. Especially now that we live on post and love our home. I really enjoy getting to show off the area we live it to our friends and family. Trey's parents will be coming in about a month, then his sister, then my brother. It's all pretty much back to back. I'm excited.

I think that's all for now. Off to the Commissary for some German goods. Don't ask.. long story. It has something to do with Book club, birthdays and a turtle.