July 16, 2010


I am not sure what is going on with me this week! Please excuse the whole "woe is me" thing I have going on. And all you mamas out there.. please please please tell me that this is something normal you go through towards the end of your pregnancy? Please tell me that I'm not a basket case.
This post may be all over the place, so I apologize in advance, but that's just the way my brain is working nowadays.

I've been incredibly down in the dumps this week. It's not like me WHAT-SO-EVER. I'm usually the positive thinking, looking at the bright side of everything kind o' girl. So, what's with me now?

I miss my girlfriends. This is to say nothing negative at all about anyone I've met here, but you know, I miss those girls that I've known for years and years now. The girls that know me inside and out and I them. I feel alone without them.

I know that Trey and I are in a slight huge transition phase right now. I realize our lives have already drastically changed and are about to do so even more. I thought I had mentally prepared myself for this. We had endless chats about it.. about our lives becoming more family orientated. I know having a child doesn't mean the death of your social life, but right now, that's exactly how I feel. I caught myself wondering this morning, if we were back home, would I be having these same feelings? I doubt it. I'd have our group of friends we've had for the past 8 years who are all in the same stages as we are. I'd still be a working woman.. which I never thought I'd miss. Ahhh.. how I'd love to be sitting in that mortgage office right now, surrounded by amazing, witty adults and not trapped in this house, looking for reasons to get out and depending on the far and few between social outings. But then again, I think you always want what you can't have. If I were sitting there, 8 months pregnant in my old life, I'm pretty sure I'd be wishing I could be a SAHM and would not have been able to afford it.. at least I would have the choice...

I'm rambling now and I'm sorry! When I type all of these thoughts out, they really don't seem so bad and I probably sound very ungrateful. I don't mean to at all. We're incredibly blessed to be where we are now, expecting our first child in just a few short weeks.. trust me.. I'm thankful every day! I guess to sum it all up... I'm just feeling down and a girl needs her friends!

I will end on a more positive note though. As I was crying to Trey about all of this, this morning... I'm pretty sure God was listening very intently. My phone all of a sudden was blowing up with text messages from Emily, one of said friends wanting to chat about SYTYCD (my fav subject) and baby issues, Melissa - My SIL, and Jessica - one of the best friends I made in the past year. Pretty sure He was letting me know that I'm not alone. And that I'm VERY blessed to have so many friends and family that will not get out of my life no matter how much time and distance tries to separate us!

So here's to getting out and meeting Jennifer, my home away from home buddy this afternoon for some girl time, to having two days to spend with my husband who puts up with constant rambling like this from me all the time.. with a smile on his face and loves me anyways (at least y'all can click away and choose not to read!), and hopefully a night to sneak away with new friends for a game night!

Again.. please tell me I'm normal!


Julie the Army Wife said...

I think you are normal. Having a baby is the start of something new. So is moving. It's hard when you move to a new place and haven't yet develop strong friendships yet. I am kinda in that place too. Slowly meeting people but missing the people that know me very well.

Expat Girl said...

You're totally normal, your life is about to change drastically and a lot of it is unknown so its ok to worry. One thing though is dont become the parents trapped at home, make sure that Drew fits around you and not you around him. Babies are totally mobile you just have to leave the house with a ton more stuff! Oh and once a month promise to get a babysitter and go on a date, my husband and I are going to try and do this every Friday but that could be a bit ambitious! : )

Steph said...

It's okay to worry about stuff. Everyone does it with big and small stuff. You have made big changes in the last year or so. I'm sure all the hormones probably make it worse too. Can one of your close friends come and visit or something?

Stephanie said...

You have to just find a new normal when your life shifts like this. And of course it will most definitely still include friends and going out and having fun. I felt this same way for awhile, and I made the mistake of not doing ANYTHING besides take care of Summer the first year of her life. Then I began to realize that is wasn't good for me. I'm sure it's harder to be away from your main group of friends, but just keep an open mind, and remember that your life is about to get better in many ways, not worse!

Sara said...

Its normal to feel like you do, especially in situations like ours.

Parenting is MUCH harder when family isn't around. Everything is on you and your husband. However, Take heart in the bond and knowledge other moms have with each other though. I cried more than a few times when other moms came to the rescue without question when the baby wouldn't stop crying. And I definitely only knew these women in passing. Some I had only met once or twice. Even though you don't have your family or best friends around, there are good women out there who will take good care of you.

And when the baby comes, I felt my whole world shift. I knew life would be different but holy moly! But a month later, things are feeling more and more consistently normal. Things that made me feel normal quicker were taking time for myself without the baby and doing hobbies again that I did before I was a mom.

C. E. Welch said...

girl, I'm not even preggers and I have times like that! It is normal, you are as normal as you can be without being boring, so love on that hubby of yours and maybe I will see you tomorrow night!

Michelle A'etonu said...

totally normal! think about all the changes that have or gone on in your life the last few months. it's a lot to deal with. so let it all out, girl! and don't be ashamed! you, jennifer and i need to get together for lunch!