October 3, 2012

Finding the good

First off - I've had a few new followers lately (Heyyyy) and it makes me sad that you don't have your "reply to" email set. I want to connect with you, I really do ...I won't call anyone out.. hey Sarah and Derek.. woops ;) but it makes it hard for me to respond to you when I can't email you. And there have been so many things I've wanted to respond to!

Moving on -

I saw this on Pinterest the other morning, and it really was exactly what I needed to hear at the moment:

We have had some really hard days around here lately. Starting Saturday afternoon and it really just hasn't stopped.
Andrew was sick over the weekend. The only way I could tell was that he was BURNING up (got up to 103.5) and would lay still for a ridiculous amount of time.. for him. I wasn't sure what was going on until Monday morning when I woke up with a sore throat and some congestion (nothing the sinus rinse doesn't help, but still.. I imagine that's what was going on with him). He woke up fine though, and all should have been good, right? Wrong. If it were just this, we wouldn't be here writing this post.

I don't know what on God's creation is going on with him. The only thing I can think of is that the ugly "Terrible Two" monster has reared it's ugly head. The one thing I DO  know for sure - I'm going to lose my ever loving mind. Soon. Everything out of his mouth is either said in a finger-nails-on-chalkboard like whine or he just skips right over the whining and goes right into full blown tears. Sometimes even throwing himself on the floor to do so. W.T.H....

I'm handling this in three ways.
One - I insist he talk to me like a big boy. He has the vocabulary. I KNOW he is capable. So when he comes to me whining, I just make him repeat it in "his big boy voice". And he does most of the time and we can move on. The crying and tantrums, while more difficult on my state of mind, are just about handled the same way. Make him use his words when he's just crying and grunting, remove myself from him if he refuses or while he's throwing a tantrum. He knows he can come find me when he's done throwing himself on the floor and we can work it out, but .... sighhhh....
Easier said though, my friends. I do all of the above, but like I said, I'm going to lose it. Just because I remove myself, doesn't mean I can't hear it. Lord help me.

The second thing I'm doing is praising the heck out of the good behavior. That child has never heard so many, "good jobs", "good boys", and " great listening". I pray that this works. This is the more fun way to handle it!

So the third thing I'm doing that I feel will get ME through this.. it will not help him in the least, I'm afraid.. Is finding the good in every day.
Just because my child has lost his mind and is trying to make me lose mine, doesn't mean I have to let him win. The first two days I found that I was a miserable person to be around by the time Trey got home. (he called me one afternoon and I may have even dropped the "f" bomb while talking about our son and told him I was going to Walmart to sell him  :/ )  He doesn't deserve to come home to that and really, it's no fun for anyone. For the most part, I can choose my attitude. It's up to me.

I've started a little notebook and every time I find myself especially thankful for a certain thing, or I notice something beautiful, or we experience a special little moment, I'm writing it down. I figure it has to help change my thinking and make me more calm and appreciative, right? I'm also telling Trey one thing I love about him every day or one thing that I especially appreciated from him that day. I think that will help to keep my day's frustrations from spilling out on him. Or at least if they do, will balance things out.. ha!

Also, I need to pray for some patience! I think I'll need the patience of a saint to get through this phase and that's the only place it's gonna come from!


Just Ask Beth said...

Oh the joys of motherhood!! i have to say..are antsy period were the 3's but basically we didn't go through that with the girls..probably because GOD knew I couldn't handle that..Mallory was by far the biggest WHINER and still is and literally I find myself trying not to run her down with the Suburban!! LOL! but she does clean..so..take the GOOD with the BAD..let him get it out now before Wes gets here!

JG said...

I love how proactive you are being, rather than settling for being overwhelmed. This too shall pass, and I hope it passes quickly!

Kristy said...

I think the Terrible Twos have hit Casa Smith too. We have had extreme whining, random top-of-lungs screaming for no reason (just attention), toy/item throwing, couch jumping, and doing the exact opposite of what he's asked (every request). The Naughty Stool hasn't been empty for long in the last 3 days. :( I will add you to my hourly prayers for patience!

Kristy said...

It could also be partially due to the fact that both our boys know big changes are coming for them and these behaviors are coping mechanisms for A & B. I hope these phases pass quickly and we maintain our sanity. (Love your conscious attitude adjustment tip! Going to try to find positive things to share with Cam when he gets home from work first, not just the negative. Thank you!)

Kristy said...
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Jenn said...

Love the thankful notebook idea! I have been thinking lately that I need to write down all of my blessings so that I can be truly grateful for all I have, but... I just haven't yet. Weirdo question, but where do you keep yours? Just in the kitchen? The car? Diaper bag? I'm all flustered with the stupid details. LOL