October 19, 2012

Dwindling Time

Well, I put it off for as long as I felt safe doing, but our tickets are bought. Andrew and I officially have one-way tickets out of here.

I was in major get ISH done mode during Drew's naptime today and one thing on the list was to get those tickets purchased. I was on such a roll being super woman that I didn't think about what I was doing.. I just did it. And I felt good about FINALLY getting that done. Then like 10 minutes later, I randomly lost it. Like called-my-Mama-sobbing lost it.

I didn't even see it coming. Silly me. I know I say this every time, but it's so much more real now. His dates may switch up until the last minute and I took comfort in that. Because if we don't have a set in stone date that he's leaving, it's not real, right? But I know my date now. We fly home bright and early on the first of December. A one-way flight. We have a real countdown. And that makes things worse for me.

I'm looking forward to our block leave. To get a lot of minimally interrupted time together. (sorry in advance to family if I'm joined at the hip to him.. but not really sorry actually). But when we get back here, we'll have less than a month together. I'm not ready for that. Honestly, this will probably be the hardest part. The waiting. The counting down. The dread. The what-ifs. Yuck.

Time can just start to slow on down starting RIGHT NOW. I want to soak up every minute. Forgive me if I become a social recluse on nights and weekends! And bare with me around here friends. Things will start to look up. I do have a little boy I'll have to be positive for around the holidays and will have a new addition to blog all about in the new year!

9 comments:

Mel said...

There is no doubt in my mind that you can do this. You have a strong marriage and a great family. You have the heart and soul to make it through and when it feels like you don't, rely on God and family to carry you. He will be back before you know it, joined with your new little one, and those times will be so valuable!

Southern Roots and Combat Boots said...

Sounds like Trey's deployment is a little further out then Rob's but not by much...We had our block leave already and the dates changing every second is driving me nuts! I'm going to write a post about that soon...A total vent post I'm telling ya...So sorry this is becoming real. I had my bubble of denial popped a few weeks ago and it sucked:( Hugs!

A Crew Chief's Wife said...

The countdown sucks. I always feel like "Man, there's not enough time to do XYZ..."followed by "Can we just get this thing going so I can feel a little less in limbo?" Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I can understand every emotion your feeling. My husband left for his 4th deployment in Nov. 2010. I had a 2.3 year old and was pregnant. My daughter and I visited family over the holidays and then returned home after the New Year so I could head to work. I gave birth to a beautiful girl in Jan. My husband was able to watch her birth via Skype (horrible connection). We went to family during my maternity leave. Then headed back home and spent our last 4 months working and waiting until Daddy arrived home. The reason I told you all of this? Military wives have to be strong and we endure so much! I know it seems impossible looking into the future, but you'll do an awesome job caring for your son and newborn. After the baby arrives, the rest of the deployment will go so quickly. It was definitely the hardest time if my life, so I know it won't be easy, but don't give up on yourself on the bad days! And once he deploys, check into the Skype and other video communications so he can hopefully be there with you. Thinking of you all.

Sarah and Derek said...

Sending happy thoughts your way momma! Got made us women strong for a reason and I know it must be hard, but you'll get through it!

Amber said...

"But when we get back here, we'll have less than a month together."

That realization just made me really sad. Like, almost depressed.

:( I'll miss you.

Jen said...

You can do this, you are a strong woman!!!

Steph said...

I have all the faith in the world that you will be Superwoman during his deployment.

Jenn said...

Ugh. Girl. I know. :( Steve didn't get a date until very late in the game, and then he didn't get orders until a week before he left, so my mind was playing the "let's be hopeful but we'll pretend he's going anyway" game. Obviously I got my hopes up A LOT thinking that we would be "spared" from this deployment. But you can definitely do it! I know you can! And don't go apologizing for being attached at the hip or spending every bit of free time you have soaking up your family. You do that and enjoy it, ok? We'll all be here when you get back. :) Thinking of you. And still searching for a box big enough for all the clothes I found for you. I promise it's coming soon. I PROMISE.