Weighty Issues

I did it. I done joined Weight Watchers.

I never imagined myself like this 8 months after having a baby. I don't know why. Actually, I do know why. I compared myself to other girls I knew that have had babies. Good friends, acquaintances. Some that bounced back with minimal to NO effort. Some that somehow found the time to exercise all hard core - all while caring for a newborn, keeping up house and home, and working full time. Talk about determination.. geesh!
You can't do that though. Compare yourself to people that aren't in your gene pool, that is. I should have known better. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. The majority of my time has been spent on the overweight side. One time I lost it in a very unhealthy way (aka pretty depressed and therefore not eating much of anything and working out excessively) and the other time being from.. duh duh duh.. you guessed it. Weight Watchers.
So after struggling for a few months now, trying to find the time to work out, going from diet to diet, I ended up being far more confused and frustrated than ever. What really works? Counting calories? But it has to be more than just that, right? The type of calories you eat have to matter. Do I get rid of all carbs, some carbs, sugar? That's not reasonable, for sure! I'm bound to fail with that (and I did). Is real sugar better, or fake? I need to choose all of the"light" options to stay in a respectable amount of calories a day, but if the bottle says "light", that just means the sugar has shot up. Gahhhh! These are the thoughts that have plagued me for months now. Multiple times, I couldn't take it and just gave up all together. Only to gain those 5 pounds back, get disgusted with myself and start some other diet.

Enter WW. I know it works. I've done it. It's realistic. It's changed over the years, and incorporates more of the lifestyle Trey and I have been trying to live. Instead of doing a calorie counting based point system, it's all based on high protein and fiber, low fat and carbs. Win win! Trey gets meals cooked that work for his weight loss efforts, and I can FOCUS on the low carb foods, but add in little bits here and there based on points. Make sense? I probably didn't explain it well enough, but it works in my head. I'm excited.

Here's the ugly truth. I weighed in today at 164.4 pounds. I'm 5'3. This isn't okay. I'm very unhappy with the way I look and feel. I dread going on walks with my little family.. isn't that horrible? So not how I pictured myself. But, I'm changing it. I'm doing something about it and that's what matters. I have a destructive relationship with food. My life revolves around it. Borderline obsessive. So, not only do I want to change the way I look and feel... I want to be able to think about daily life and how food mixes in without breaking out into a cold sweat. In fact, I want to think about my weekend plans without thinking about food at all. Food needs to hold less importance in my life.
I plan to surround myself with supportive, encouraging people. I know Trey will be so very supportive. I know I need to actually GO to the meetings. The online option wouldn't work for me. I need to be held accountable. So between supportive friends, a loving husband, weekly support and weigh-ins, seeing results and hopefully feeling better about myself, I have to be on to a winning combination!

I'll keep track of how I'm doing here. Are any other of you girls out there doing WW? If so, let me know! We can help each other along and share recipes. I know I'm going to need help with meal ideas for sure.