This post may be a little TMI for some so proceed at your own risk.
My boobs are officially my own again after 11 whole months. I'm done pumping. Completely over it.
It wasn't a decision I came to easily. I've been strug-A-lin for a few weeks now, but didn't want to admit defeat. Mainly, I didn't want to feel like a failure. I finally came to terms with the fact that this just wasn't for me when Trey woke up the other night and came out to find silent little baby tears strolling down my cheeks as I'm pumping quietly in the dark.
Ouch Charlie is all I have to say! Pumping full time is not so easy! Over the past 2 weeks I've been having serious problems. My nipples (Lord I can't believe I said nipples on my blog) would start to bleed and crack so I would spread the pumps out relieve them, which in turn would cause clogged ducts. Those really hurt like a mother, let me tell you! It was this big viscious cycle and was making me miserable. I dreaded the every few hours that I had to do it. I was just plain bitter by the middle of this week.
After a long discussion, we both decided that it just wasn't the best thing to do anymore. Breastfeeding should be this wonderful, rewarding experience and THIS TIME, it just wasn't for me. I'll try again with the next kid.
I don't buy in to the whole idea that because I'm now giving my baby formula that he won't be as smart or healthy as breastfed babies. I know it's most ideal to breastfeed, but Andrew will not be inferior because of it. Trust me, I know this for a fact. How you ask? I was breastfed. My youngest brother was not. I was mediocre at best in school and didn't try very hard. My brother... such a smart kid and has a great head on his shoulders! I've been worried because I know switching over is hard on their little tummies and he has been a little fussy with it up until today. My mum made me feel much better though when she asked my brother if he remembers her switching, and he has no recollection ;)
I know people are very passionate about breastfeeding, but please don't use this as a forum to be ugly to me about it. I've already had my share of meanie pants comments about it, but KNOW that I am doing the right thing for my baby and I. Trust me, I'm a much happier mum and that's important too!