Wes' birth story

Surprise! Someone made an early appearance!

He wasn't scheduled to come until tomorrow (the 31st), but it looks like he had other plans. I started to feel like something wasn't right on Thursday. I had no idea I was in labor, but I was really tired. My energy level dropped way down and I just didn't feel right. I didn't think much of it though, I was just 38 weeks pregnant.
Fast forward to Friday. I felt better in the morning. Still sluggish, I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was lay down on the couch. I didn't want to get up for anything! I got some stuff done in the morning and then started feeling bad again. I called my SIL to talk about it. I had a nagging feeling, "I wonder if..." so we chatted about what I was feeling. My back hurt a little, I was kind of crampy and my stomach was tightening, but it kind of just felt like Wes was trying to stretch out. I was uncomfortable at worst and thought that it couldn't possibly be labor... that's supposed to be painful. Plus, everyone says you'll KNOW when you're in labor. Phsshhh... not always true!
My mom got home from work around 5:15 and that's when I really started suspecting. I was noticing more of a pattern with the tightening. I told her what was going on and that I was thinking about going in to get checked. I was sure this wasn't it, but at least I'd be able to sleep better knowing for sure that nothing was going on. I took a bath to soak for a few minutes, took a shower, and straightened my hair... you know.. just in case!
I started sending Trey emails just letting him know I was going in, but no need for alarm! I had no idea when he'd even get the messages. By the time we got to the hospital, I was glad we had left! Something was definitely happening. We walked up to Labor and Delivery and I let them know I wanted to be checked. They kind of looked at me like I was crazy and told me I was probably just feeling Braxton Hicks. They entertained me though, and hooked me up to the machines.
About 10 minutes later, the nurse came back and said my contractions were 2 minutes apart. She was coming in to check me but they were going to go ahead and call the doctor because she didn't trust me one bit. Comes in, checks me, and surprise! 4cm dialated, 50% effaced. Because we had to do a c-section, she called the doc and told him to hurry it on up!
30 minutes later, I was in the operating room (which, btw, was the scariest experience I've ever gone through... but easy and painless in the end) and prepping to meet my baby! I got all set up and as soon as my mom came in I started crying. This was it! Nothing like knowing someone is about to take a scalpel to your abdomen. What felt like 10 minutes later, it was over. They pulled my baby out and unfortunately, I didn't hear those sweet cries right away. My mom didn't even have time to cut the cord. They rushed him off because he couldn't breath. There was fluid trapped in his lungs that he couldn't pass. They took him off to special care and I was once again in the position of worrying about my baby.
Fortunately, it was nowhere near as bad this time. He was born at 10:34pm and by 5am he was in my room with me!

Healthy as can be! Needless to say, we never had time to get Daddy on the phone or Skype. He missed the whole thing and found out the next day that his son was here. Can you even imagine that? I can't. I know it was hard on him.

We spent 2 nights in the hospital.
He weighed 8 pounds exactly and is 21 inches long.
He's breastfeeding like a champ and I couldn't be any more thrilled with all that.

He's had tons of visitors and must feel pretty darn loved already.
His big brother is just smitten with him. He spends the day asking if he can hold him, kissing him and "petting" him.

I'm so much in love with him! I spent so much time worrying how I could possibly love another baby. Everyone told me that you just do. Your heart grows. And it does. I already can't imagine life without him. He just fits with us. He completes our family and he couldn't fit any more perfectly.

We love you, Wes! Welcome to our family :)

Andrew

Clever title, right?

I wanted to do a little post about our first baby before the 2nd one gets here - in.. ahem.. exactly 2 weeks! Things are moving so fast with him and I don't want to forget anything. Plus, if Daddy ever has time to check this little ol' blog, I'm sure he'd love the update :)

He is all too inquisitive lately. Simple answers are no longer acceptable to his questions. It's a lot of fun ;)
We just had to chat for about 5 minutes about why most school buses have stop signs but his toy bus does not have one.
We also just got done washing his hands and we talked all about how the water comes OUT of the faucet and DOWN the drain. Big long conversation about that. But then he wanted to know what those little holes are on the side of the sink. I have no earthly idea why those are there, actually. But I'd better find out!
We have talks like this is the car - (we were on our way to Trey's dad's work)
A: Where's Grandad?
Me: He's at work.
A: Where's Grandad's work?
Me: Just down the road a little big. We're on the way.
A: Where's Grandad's truck?
Me: It's at his work?
*1 minute pause*
Repeat conversation all over again. Twice.
Me: Please stop asking me that over and over again. We'll see him in just a few minutes.
A: Where's over and over again?
Ahhhhhh.. LOL!

He's getting more and more independent. Perfect timing, right? Let the angels sing over that one for a minute.
He plays on his own for longer periods of time. He's okay going to his playroom by himself (that was a battle for a while). He will go upstairs on his own if he wants to get something like his teddy bear or blankie.
He wants to do more on his own, for sure. He sometimes doesn't want your help whatsoever. I'm seeing this a lot with hand washing, getting dressed and getting into the car. I'm hearing a lot more of "No, Andrew do it". Which for the most part is much appreciated, but he's really gotta get better with dressing himself. He's not capable, but wants to be. Can make for some frustrating mornings.
He doesn't mind when I leave him for a bit anymore. As longs as it's not for bedtime apparently. That has always been our biggest battle. He wanted to be with me at all times and would NOT be pleased if I left him for even a few minutes. Now, he'll give me lovens and wave to me as I'm walking out the door. I won't lie.. that's nice! And it makes me even more excited to come home to him!

He's getting real smart and creative when it comes to going down for a nap. Where I used to be able to just give him a few minute warning, then we'd go up with no problem, now he knows what he can do to extend that just a little bit. Things like all of a sudden deciding he would like some milk, WANT to clean up his toys, or spend a few minutes saying goodnight to the dog and his toys. Really, your pickup truck needs hugs and kisses?

He's so smart. He's known all of his letters and numbers for a while, but now he's putting sounds together with the letters. He'll sound words out and tell me what they start with. At first, it was only words that he was familiar with. Now he seems to be able to do it automatically.. except the tricky ones. We had pears with lunch today and while sitting at the table he said, "Pears starts with P mommy". It blows me away each and every time!
He knows where all the letters are on the computer and knows the enter, space and backspace buttons.
He'll count things and do it correctly.
He's great with his opposites.
I just hope that he always has a love for learning!

I think he knows that his baby brother is coming soon. He's very interested in him all over again. And now he'll touch my belly and tell me he wants to feel baby Wes. Or he'll tell me he can't wait to share his cars with baby Wes. He'll excitedly talk in the car about how Wes will sit right next time him. Hopefully, that will keep up once the reality hits that this little person is in our lives to stay. Fingers crossed?!

He's doing better than I thought with Daddy being gone. He talks about him ALL. THE. TIME. But it's not in an angry or sad manner. Just matter of fact and lovingly. Like, "Daddy says, Alright big guy". Or, "when Daddy comes home we'll play outside/go to the park/play with trucks". Or, "Daddy is far away working, helping people". Stuff like that. And always with a smile on his face. I was so afraid that he was going to start acting out and get angry. He seems to be doing very well though. I pray that when Trey gets home, they will just fall seamlessly back into their relationship!

That's about all I can think of for now! Hopefully, I'll have lots of cute brother posts coming up soon :)

Sunday Morning

I don't usually get the urge to write on the weekend, but there is something peaceful and perfect about this morning and my fingers were itching to get to typing. There's nothing specific I want to talk about, I sometimes just get that urge. You know, right? I know I'm not the only one...

I'm surprised that I'm feeling this good this morning. All signs point to a crappy attitude. I should be a miserable wretch.

I'm so sick of never hearing from Trey. I guess I shouldn't say never, but no matter how much I tried to prepare myself for this, I guess deep down, I still thought we'd be able to talk more. I hear from him, on average, twice a week. I never know when. I send email after email that is never responded to. Because when he does have the time to send a quick message or make a very quick call, there's not time. It's rushed and we're both in a frenzy to get as much in as we can. I feel like it's never a quality conversation. He's so busy.. so so busy.. so I don't hold it against him. He's working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. He's been sick since he's gotten there and is just now starting to feel better. So I know. I know it's hard for him and I know there are extenuating circumstances right now - that I really hope clear up fast! So I still hold out hope. I hope that once their big issue resolves itself that we can talk more. But this ish is hard. Harder than I ever imagined it would be. Because there's nothing that can prepare you for not being able to call your best friend to talk about all of life's little or big moments when you used to be able to call whenever you wanted. I all too often find myself picking up the phone, wanting to call him, then realizing there's nothing I can do about it. I just wait for my phone to ding with an email alert or ring with some strange unknown number. And nothing can prepare you for the worry that settles into your heart, for me, around day 2 of not hearing from him. Because while you know everything is probably okay and he is most likely perfectly safe, WHY HAVEN'T YOU HEARD FROM HIM?
So - that's taking a toll on me, for sure. I know a lot of my friends can relate at the moment! One day at a time, right? And that reunion gets closer and closer day by day... no matter how far away it seems right now.

Sheww... I didn't think that would be so long winded. I really just meant to type up a few sentences.

Also, I'm constantly in a state of exhaustion. I spend the day thinking I'll go to sleep as soon as Andrew does. But he goes down and insomnia hits. I finally fall asleep somewhere between 11 and midnight, which is very late for me.. and wake up roughly 3 times a night.. never being able to just fall right back asleep.

Then, Andrew woke up at 7 instead of 8. So I lost another hour.

And you already know how uncomfortable I am, so I don't need to go on about that. I'm sure you can imagine.

I don't mean to make this into a complain-fest. All that to say, for some unknown reason, I feel good this morning. I'm relaxed. And dare I say... happy?
Yes, Andrew woke up early, but we used that time to snuggle in bed and watch cartoons. By snuggle I mean he was a wiggly mess and I get a few seconds here and there of cuddling, but it was still good.
Now we're in the living room and everyone else is still asleep. I have my coffee and Andrew is playing with trains, pick-up trucks and police cars. It just seemed like the perfect time to write. Something about that first cup of coffee and a quiet morning. It screamed WRITE IN YOUR BLOG to me.

I don't have anything at all planned for us today. I've been on the go too much for the past two days, so today we'll just rest. And play. And watch the Patriots. Happy Sunday everyone!

21 Days

We have 21 days at most until baby Wes is here! That's crazy to me. I feel like my whole world is about to be rocked (and Andrew's) and I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Honestly, there are A LOT of days where I think to myself... and sometimes say out loud... "what in God's name was I thinking??". What made us think this would be a good idea? I had a good thing going with that one child gig. But I do know that once he gets here I'll never look back. Right??

No, really, for the most part, I'm ready!
I'm ready physically, that's for sure! All I can say is THANK GOD my husband and I are in agreeance to never doing this again. I'm so uncomfortable. I can barely get around. That is a problem when you have a very active toddler! I'm excited to be able to do stuff with him (them) again. Well do more I guess, because I still have to do stuff with him. It's just not fun! I'm ready to get my body back and work on looking good for a certain someone to come home. At least I have a while to work on that.. I'll need the time! I'm ready to sleep on my belly again! That, my friends, is going to be glorious.

I'm a little nervous about learning how to handle two kids. I'm worried about how Andrew will respond and figuring out how I'll split my time. I'm nervous about going out and getting stuff done with two, like grocery shopping, for instance. So I'm ready to just throw myself into all that. I can't wait to just do it.. get the the newness, awkwardness, and learning out of the way and let it become my new normal. I'm ready to kick this whole having two kids' thing ass.

And really, I'm just so excited to meet our 2nd little boy. Another little human that is half myself and half Trey. I can't wait to love on him. To see what he looks like. I wonder if he'll look just like Andrew did or nothing like him at all? To see what his little personality will be like. I pray he's as easy as Andrew was, but I don't dare assume that I'm that lucky. I'm excited to see Andrew take on the roll of big brother. I'm pretty sure he'll do great!

Did I mention I'm ready to have my body back yet?

All I need to do is get my hair done, get one last prenatal massage in, a pedicure, get my hospital gown in and pack my bag!

One Word

JG tagged me the other day to talk about what was originally 5 Christmas wishes, which she turned into 5 goals for the new year, which I am just going to now loosely talk about a few thoughts I have for the new year. It may or may not end up having 5 points. We'll see.

I didn't want to pick an extremely specific resolution this year. In my now almost 30 years in this world I have learned a few things... one of them being I will never keep a resolution. I'll be disappointed on and off throughout the year a little bit, but mostly, I'll forget that I even had a resolution in the first place.
Last year I heard a lot about this one word thing. I noticed tons of blog posts where people were narrowing in on one thing they wanted to become or change in themselves. I was intrigued and looked a little more into it this year. One word seems doable. Especially since, for the most part, it's a character change and I can apply it to many facets of my life. But all I have to remember is one little word.

So I thought long and hard (ie: a naptime) and came up with my word. I decided on - Intentional. 

  [in-ten-shuh-nl] 

adjective

1.done with intention or on purpose; intended: an intentional insult.

2.of or pertaining to intention or purpose.

3.Metaphysics .

a.pertaining to an appearance, phenomenon, or representation in the mind; phenomenal; representational.

b.pertaining to the capacity of the mind to refer to an existent or nonexistent object.

c.pointing beyond itself, as consciousness or a sign.

There were some close runner-ups (present, kind, healthy, thoughtful), but I thought I could sum all of that up with Intentional. 

1) I want to be more intentional in my relationships. I want to put more effort into them. My marriage, my child(ren), family and friends. I don't just want to coast through these relationships. I want the people I care about to KNOW I care about them. 
It's most important with my husband right now with him being so far away. I want to take the extra time and effort to let him know how much I love him. I don't ever want him to doubt that while he is away... or any time. 
With my kids, that is a gimme. That's where the word "present" kept coming in. When I'm with my kids I'm going to be with my kids. That's pretty much 24/7, so reasonably I need some downtime or personal time to myself, but there will be more time focused on them. Living in the moment. Not being quite so distracted. 
With friends and family I want to be a lot more thoughtful and show more kindness. And more present I guess as well. I want to take the time to let far away friends and family know how much I'm thinking about them. I'm always thinking of them and I miss the people I don't talk to on a regular basis, but I don't always take the time to let them now. I want to change that. With local family/friends I want to be more in tuned with whats going on in their lives and be there for them more. I want to take the time to do thoughtful things when I can and start speaking more of what is on my mind. 

2) Intentional with my health. 
This baby is coming out of me in 29 days (but who's counting?) and as far as I know, I can start working out roughly 6 weeks after that. I'm not one that enjoys working out or watching my weight. I like the results, but hate the process. Of course, I want to look good. My husband coming home and seeing me for the first time in 9-10 months is some pretty hefty motivation. But my main concern is feeling good. I want to have tons of energy and make healthier decisions. I despise the feeling of sloth during the end of pregnancy, so I cannot wait to be able to walk from one room to another or up the stairs without having to catch my breath. I really can't wait to play with my kids without it being a chore. To take good walks. To just love life again, really. I don't know exactly how I'll go about this other than use common sense, but I do know I'll need something to keep myself accountable. And I don't want to pay for WW again. 

3) Intentional about my faith. 
Along with being healthy, another time where I feel like my best self is when I'm actively working on my faith. I need to turn to God more often. Find a church we love here to last us until Trey comes back. (This shouldn't be hard, other than my own anxiety about leaving Drew in childcare). I want to find a devotional to read in every day... bonus points for something like Faith Deployed that would help me put this deployment into perspective. 

I think that sums it up! Very doable, right? I just need to come up with a plan, or a system, to keep all this stuff in mind during the year.  I don't think I'll tag anyone else since this is not what I was supposed to do at all!