December 2, 2012

A New Beginning

Pardon the absence! Life has been crazy and while I have had the urge to write, I didn't want to keep writing about the only thing that was swimming through my mind - a temporary life without Trey. Thoughts around him.. or the lack of him... were constantly swimming through my head and it wouldn't have made for any fresh blog posts. I had talked about it so much already and there's only so many ways you can say the same thing.
Jaci Greggs Photography
  Anyways - The day I'd been dreading has come and gone. Trey is still in the states. Of course, very shortly after I bought our plane tickets home, they pushed his date out a good bit further. He'll still be gone before Christmas, but we could have gotten more QT with him. No sense in focusing on that though.
Yesterday, I gathered up all the courage I could possibly muster and got on a plane to SC. I'm pretty sure it was the hardest thing I've had to do thus far in life. I'm going to miss him something fierce, but to see the man you love say goodbye to your son with tears in his eyes... heart wrenching. I chickened out and made my brother take us to the airport instead of Trey. I'm convinced that was for the best. I couldn't handle it. When you can't hold it together in front of your baby and he's asking Daddy why Mama looks so sad... not good. This way I was able to have that 5 minutes or so to pull myself together before having to travel all day with him.
Jaci Greggs Photography
 It was awful and I'll never forget Trey's face as we were pulling away, but we're here now and we're getting used to our new normal. I was able to hold it together until seeing my parents at the airport. I'm guessing it was my strength as a mama shining through that got us here, but we did really well!

Andrew's having a good time playing, but he does keep asking to go back to his own house. Not really sure how we're handling that yet and I'm really NOT looking forward to when he realizes he misses his Daddy. Until Trey actually leaves, I'm not sure that it will truly sink in for me. Right now, it just feels like any other visit home. We can text all day and call each other whenever we want. I think this will be a good transition though.

In the meantime, we'll just be settling in! I'll be busy getting Andrew used to the fact that he lives here, meeting my OB and transferring over to Tricare South, learning which cabinets the strainers go in and getting used to our new normal. I finally feel like I can respond to texts and emails without crying, so if I've ignored you at all, I promise I won't for long!
Jaci Greggs Photography


JG said...

I'm glad you made it safely! I was thinking about you a lot yesterday and last night.

Don't worry about ignoring anybody for a while. You'll find a routine for both of you soon. Hugs, friend!

Katie F said...

Awe hang in there hun. I can totally relate. My husband leaves soon and we are trying to enjoy all the qt we can although there is nothing as sad as seeing them look at your kiddos with tears in their eyes knowing they have to leave them. It breaks my heart. Stay strong!

hmb said...

Break my heart, Jess! So sorry :( Hope the time flies and y'all settle into a routine soon! XO :)

Jenn said...

You've been on my heart the past few days and this morning while folding clothes, I just couldn't take it any longer! Call/text/email me for anything! You can do this- you are one strong woman!! Hugs to you.

Jen said...

Hugs friend!! It will go by quickly.

Shayla said...

HUGS!!!!! praying for you and Jaci!!!!

Southern Roots and Combat Boots said...

Jessica those same scenes and emotions are all too raw for me too. I know EXACTLY how you feel and yes, my hubby's date got pushed back as well where I had to leave him due to my sister in-law needing to hit the road. She hadn't planned on that and neither did I. However, it was only by a day, by the time we finally had to pull the plug and drive, so he's been long gone for 3 weeks. We dropped him at a hotel and just wow. No need to explain on telling the kiddo bye with tears in his eyes. That was BRUTAL and I still choke up when I replay that moment. Not that I purposely do!!! So glad you made it safe to your families and hang in there. We will get through this!!!

Our Little Fam said...

Praying for your family!! Beautiful pictures!!