December 27, 2012

Day 5

Day 5 - How hopeless does that sound? Especially since I don't know how many days we have. I won't dwell on how badly this sucks, how nothing could have prepared me for this (no matter how well I thought I was prepared), how it feels like I may have an ulcer by the end of it, or how many times a day I look at my phone checking to see if I somehow missed a call/email/fb message from him. No. I won't focus on any of that.

I'll let you know that we're hanging in there. We're both pretty settled at my parents house. I feel very much at home and I think it's safe to say Andrew does as well. He has a definite separation in his head about his and Mama's house and Daddy's house. I can't begin to guess what a 2-year old understands in this situation. He knows he is far away working and helping people, but I also think he still thinks Daddy is at our old house too.
I've decided I have sensory issues since being here. My brother drives me crazy when he eats his ice cream 5 out of 7 nights a week. The slurping, spoon clanging and jaw cracking. They watch crazy movies like Cast Away... if I hear water sploshing around for one more second I'm going to jump from the roof. The dog and her licking/scratching. It's all just too much. But when the sounds get overwhelming, I can just go up to my room. It's nice to have my own little space in a house with all these noises.

Trey sent videos of himself reading to Andrew along with the books for us to follow along. We've gotten to listen to him read for the last two nights and it's been great. Andrew's a little confused, but for the most part it's such a great thing! The smile on his face is priceless while he's listening to him. He just thinks Trey can hear him talk back to him and I have to explain that he cannot. We'll get there though!

Christmas had it's tough moments, but overall was a great day. Andrew was so much fun this year. It was a little overwhelming for him, so we did have to take it slow. We didn't finish opening presents until almost bedtime! He now has way too many toys.

I'm so ready to be done with this pregnancy. I won't go into all the details, but we can just leave it at I'm extremely uncomfortable. I'm ready to meet this sweet boy. Yet another reason I'm thankful to be with my family! They are such a great help with Andrew!

So, to sum it up, because I feel like this is a jumbled mess, we're okay. I'd kill for more reliable communication. I would give anything for a broken up, horribly connected, 3 minute long conversation. I miss him like crazy. It feels like it will never end. But I'm busy. And Andrew keeps me smiling every day. And I'm enjoying living with my family.
I'm going to set goals for myself once the baby gets here. I'll set big ones and smaller ones so I have something to help mark the time. I just have to come up with them :)  It's fun putting together care packages, so that helps too!

I hope you all had a great Christmas! I hope to get back to more regular, positive blogging soon!!


Jen said...

You are a strong woman and you will get through this. :) Just know that I am thinking of you and praying for you always.

Charla Welch said...

When I get upset about our lagging, freezing, 15 minute chat sessions that end up with 5 minutes of talking, I remind myself that my friends don't get to talk to their guys as often as I do.

OH, and animal sounds? Even us uber animal lovers can't stand them. My cat gets kicked off the bed if he starts bathing in the middle of the night. And Remy is constantly told to stop licking things. Uck. It's a horrid sound.


Charla Welch said...

BTW, what I meant up there, is that I realize how lucky I am and I sympathize with you. Complain all you want to me!

Amber said...

*huuuuug* You will make this work for you. Took me two weeks before I was sane again. Once he gets over there and you get that first email/phone call, it'll feel so amazing, you won't know what hit you. And as I said before, feel free to communicate with me how ever you'd like.

Shayla said...

This is a positive blog! It's you and your life!!! I love how real you are!!!

Wish I could steal you away for a girl's night :)

Praying for you and your sweet family.

Jenn said...

It just plain SUCKS, doesn't it? I wish there was a way to make deployments end faster without stealing away precious baby days. :/ I hope communication picks up for you soon. And I can totally relate to relatives doing gross things that make you wanna scream- just spent Christmas with my family (12 people in the house) and I honestly couldn't get out of there fast enough. ;) lol Love 'em but omg! Need! Space! Routine! Sanity! Thinking of you- call/text whenever. :)

Theron Bostic said...

Don't get discouraged....rely on your friends and family and you'll get through it. Last year was tough for my wife and I but it made our relationship stronger. I recently wrote a post about how special women like you are, check it out.

Steph said...

Hang in there. It will get better/easier. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. XOXO