July 9, 2012

Back from vacation

Well, we are back in town from visiting family. We were in Illinois getting some time with Trey's family, some we haven't seen in years! And it was nice to catch up with them.. such good, sweet people!

For the most part we really enjoyed our time. Andrew LOVED playing with his cousin, Addyson. They spent countless hours outside together, swimming in the kiddie pool, running around giggling, blowing bubbles and fighting over toys. He also met his new cousin, Reagan, whom he actually held and gave kisses too. This is a big step for a certain little boy who is not quite a baby-hater, but definitely has a lot of strides to make before another baby makes its way into our house!
We went to a tractor museum, where a GREAT time was had! Andrew was in tractor heaven.
We enjoyed ice cream, Popsicles and fireworks. Well... some of us enjoyed the fireworks. SOMEONE was scared of them and had to sit inside the whole time. No, I'm not talking about Trey.
I got to see a movie with my SIL - Brave. It was cute, but not my favorite. I think I'm in the minority here though.

Like I said, a fun time for the most part. Then things got a little crazy. I won't go into too much detail with names or too much specifics, but it does need to be mentioned. I thought long and hard before posting about this. I don't usually like to post about family business when it's derogatory, but inthe end, I really felt like I had to. This is my blog where I talk about important things going on in our lives. This is big for me right now, something I'm very concerned and hurt over.
We all know that judgement is out there when it comes to your parenting. It's not right, but it's going to happen. Mostly (and sadly) from other mommies though, right? And especially from women who aren't yet parents. We can forgive them because, bless their hearts, they just have NO CLUE. We let them think they will do it a whole different way and have the perfect child while they can. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, right?
Sadly, for the last half of the week, we caught the brunt of parental judgement. I would even go as far as to say judging my child. That, my friends is not fun to deal with. Apparently, we don't discipline our child well enough, if at all. Isn't that funny? I find myself exhausted with how much I have to stay on Andrew, but if it's not done the way people think you should do it, it's not good enough or it's not correct. It was made clearly known to us that we should be spanking. And that even if we do not spank him, he WILL get spanked at said someone's house whether I like it or not or whether I'm there or not.
That was one of my biggest issues. Please do not threaten myself or my child. I don't respond well to that. (I'm trying to keep this factual and not let my anger come out, but I'm having a hard time... back on track!) A few different conversations were had by certain people that were concerned with Andrew's behavior (he cries, whines and throws tantrums at times... in other words... he's a toddler. A young one at that who doesn't have a complete vocabulary to express himself with) and the way we handle it (without spanking. We do time-outs and talk calmly, but firmly to him). Eyes were rolled in his direction multiple times. That's the gist of it.

When did it become anyone's business but mine and Trey's as to how we raise our child? Why do people feel they can dictate how we run things? I'm upset and I'm hurt. Mostly for my husband and baby. This was supposed to be a vacation for Trey. His week of relaxation before NTC. He definitely doesn't feel like he got that and that's really sad to me. Secondly, I hate people looking at my child as less than. He may not behave the same way as another child and we may not handle things the same was as another mom. That DOES NOT make him the lesser child and it certainly doesn't mean our parenting isn't up to par. Please don't give me the feeling that you are annoyed with my child. It doesn't sit well with me.

That's about all I can say. All of this being said, I really did enjoy getting that time with Trey's family that I haven't seen in such a long time. I just wish it hadn't ended on such a sour note.


Anonymous said...

I'll never understand why people feel the need to judge others parenting. I guess we're all guilty of it, but I'd never tell someone to their face that their parenting sucks (Unless the child is in danger).

Also - the first person that EVER lays a hand on my child when s/he is at their house will have another thing coming. You don't touch someone elses kid. Ever. Unless it's to shove them out of the way of a moving train or something.

Steph said...

That stinks! Illinois?

I'm already getting tired of people telling us what to do with our child and she's only 10 weeks old.

____j said...

Wow. The fact that someone had the nerve to say they would spank your kid? That is ridiculous. I wouldn't have been able to bite my tongue with that remark. You are a stronger woman than I. And yes, we all get judgement from people who are obviously better mothers than we are. It sucks, but I always try to keep in mind that I do NOT want to do that to anyone.

Jen said...

Wow! I am appalled at how some people act! They need to mind their own business. How you and your hubby choose to raise your son is your business and no one else's.

Mel said...

Obviously childless myself, you know I've always supported you. (And loved that kid!) You are a wonderful momma, and Trey is a great dad. That's all that matters. You're heading into the terrible two's, with a baby on the way, and the big D looming. That is a LOT of transition on one family. If that means there are kinks to work out - fine.

I canNOT believe someone would threaten to spank your child for you if you're in their home. That's ludicrous! That is not their place or position to do that, regardless of who pays the mortgage.

I hope you were able to work it out and come away feeling more positive than negative. Just know that the only people that need to approve of your parenting are your husband and your babies. That's it. Everyone else can suck it! :)

Charla Welch said...

Did I catch a bit of the southern woman in that "bless their hearts?" Haha.

I'm proud of you for standing up for your kid and your beliefs. My parents spanked us as kids, but my sister decided to use time-outs with her girls. Different people, different times, and different styles.

BTW, I think if I ever saw someone spank your kid without your permission, I might reach out and smack them myself.

Julie Danielle said...

I'm sorry :( We have some very opinionated family members and at times they drive me crazy. They will say stuff like, "Well if MY child did that they would have gotten spanked." It is annoying.

Jenn said...

Oh girl. This has happened to me too, and while I'm not sure how red hot my face got at the time, I definitely felt it on the inside. *Some*people (usually Those Who Are Childless) feel like your toddler should sit through a meal at a very inconvenient hour and behave as well as an adult. These people cannot fathom that THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. It is frustrating beyond belief, but you just gotta acknowledge that (luckily) you don't have to see them all that often and that they are pretty clueless/out of touch as well. It's had. I know. I'm right there with you. Let's go to chickfila and let our kids behave badly. ;)