December 13, 2011

Torn

December always seems to fly by faster than any other month doesn't it? Happily chaotic seems to be the right description of my life in December. Especially since we moved away. It's a month chock-full of giddiness, mushiness, and love. Lights and decorations everywhere. Cookie baking. Shopping. Gift exchanging. Cookie eating. Picture taking. Packing. Flying. Xanax. (What? It's nerve-wrecking flying with a toddler. Especially by yourself.) Visiting. Flying some more.

Chaotic, but I love it all. Well, most of it. I could really skip the whole flying part, but it's a necessary factor unfortunately. An unpleasant means to get to the desired end.

Trey and I are leaving soon since he has block leave. We'll be flying together to Alabama.(He hasn't been home since he joined the Army.. he's a little stoked).  After some time there he will fly home and I'll be driving to SC. He had a few more days of leave, but I didn't want to rush my time with my family. He wanted to get back early anyways, so our plan worked out.

I'm so excited to have that extra time to spend with them.. I haven't seen them since March.. but I have to admit to having mixed feelings about it.

Let's just say that after having 9 New Years together, the next two we'll be apart. This year is by our choice. Next year, not so much. I feel terrible for choosing to spend that time away from him when next year we won't have that option. Will I regret that? Not that I can do anything to change the situation now.. changing tickets is expensive. And I'm so much looking forward to spending time with my family, that I don't know that I would even if it were free. Which makes me feel even more terrible.

I know that I'll have a great time. I know that I want Andrew to get that time with his grandparents. It will all be fine and I'll be flying back here to the EP before we know it. I'm sure I'll have a bad moment or two on NYE where I'll be missing him to pieces and feeling bad that we're not together.
But I'll enjoy my family 100% while I'm able to be under the same roof as them. Then I'll come home and make the most out of the next year with my best friend. And hopefully my parents will visit us in 2012 :) *hint hint*

Waaaaa - my heart's a little torn!

3 comments:

C. E. Welch said...

you could call or skype for at least 1 midnight (since you'll have a 2 hour time difference). J and I have been apart for half our wedding anniversaries.

There's a good chance we'll have a whole group of us alone at new years next year. We can plan lots of girl time to get us all through it!

Jen said...

I totally know what you mean. I was so torn about either staying here in NC for the holidays or flying to Vegas to spend it with family. Once we made the decision to stay here I was so relieved. Just know that you are making the right decisions that work for your family :)

Jenn said...

Yay for block leave! Where in AL is your husband from? I grew up right outside of Ft Rucker, but thankfully, my parents are coming to see us this year so we don't have to make the drive. Good luck with the toddler flight! Unfortunately, we are doing that as well instead of the 16-hour car drive to my in-laws'... haha :)

I'm already getting emotional about these upcoming holidays too. My husband will miss them all next year as well and it SUCKS.